"Hey Ennis."

"Mm-hm."

"What say we pull up stumps and head west?"

"Do what?"

"I been`hearin' an awful lot 'bout San Francisco, and what they got for boys like us."

"Ain't that in California? Nuthin' out there but fruits and nuts."

"What you call us?"

"Ya got a point, friend."

"What?"

"I said, ya got a…"

"I heard ya; I just cain't b'lieve my fuckin' ears."

"Tell ya what; I'm sick a lookin' over my shoulder all the time."

"Hoooooo-eeeeeeeeee!"

Jack jumped up, dragged Ennis to his feet and swung him around. Ennis put a hand on Jack's waist and stomped out a shuffling jig. The horses watched in mild disdain as the clumsy two-legs fell down again and started wrestling. After a rambunctious quickie in the grass, they buttoned up and packed up camp.

::::::::::::

"Rodeo Drive," Ennis said. "Kinda like the sound a that. How 'bout you?"

"Hell, Ennis, you know I do. It ain't San Fran, but this is where we belong, son."

"What you reckon we should do now?"

"Well… you ever hear tell of a movie called 'Midnight Cowboy'?"

"Nope."

"Good."

:::::::::::::

"God damn, Jack. I cain't believe you made this much money in two weeks a walkin' other peoples dogs."

"Don't it beat all? Folks sure are crazy here. How do you like our store?"

"Well," Ennis tipped his head back and stared at the black sign with the purple neon cowboy boot and pink riding crop. "I ain't really sure, but if you like it, I reckon it'll do."

"Come on in and have a look around."

Ennis followed Jack through the pink and purple beaded curtain and had the urge to cover his eyes.

"What in tarnation is all this?"

"Folks hereabouts call it a toy shop."

Ennis picked up a cactus-shaped dildo in green rubber and stared at it curiously. "And just what kinda play-purty is this?"

"That right there is a mighty big comfort to lonely folks what ain't got nobody else," Jack said quickly.

"Uh-huh." Ennis put the false phallus back on the glass-topped counter next to a pair of spurs with rubber rowels. "And just what good are these?"

"I'll show ya later, cowboy. Whatta ya think a these?"

Ennis looked askance at the pair of chaps Jack was holding up to himself. "Black is gonna be mighty hot," was his opinion.

"You don't know the half a it, friend," Jack grinned. "The folks what helped me with my job and gimme the idea for this place said this kinda thing is real hot, but that's a good thing."

"Huh. Don't make no sense to me, but if they wanna lay down their hard-earned cash for such foolishness, I'll take it."

"Now you're talkin'," Jack said. "Wanna try these on?"

"Don't think so."

"For me? And ya can leave the jeans off."

"Hell you say. My ass'd be hangin' out."

Jack smiled. "Whatever you say, friend."

"You crazy, boy. Lookit this saddle. What the hell you call that?"

Jack ran a hand up the leather dildo that took the place of a pommel. "A good time," he said dreamily.

Ennis shook his head and his eyes fell on a shelf of chrome items. "We sellin' law enforcement equipment, too?"

Jack picked up a set of shiny manacles from a collection of bondage gear. "I don't think no cops're gonna come in here," he chuckled. "But I hear folks have a high old time with stuff like this."

"Now I seen ever'thin'," Ennis replied. "Folks actually wanna be tied up?"

"So they say. Interest you any?"

"Reckon it don't," he said. "You know me, Jack. I ain't up to nothin' fancy."

"That's okay. I like ya fine just how ya are."

Ennis picked up a tube of banana-flavored lubricant and squinted at it. "People really use this stuff?"

"Sure do, and we gonna start usin' it, too."

Ennis cocked an eyebrow. "That so?"

Jack nodded. "You bet. So you just go on and pick out somethin' you like."

"Ain't ya got nuthin' bean-flavored?"

"Ennis, you hick, they ain't no such thing as…" Jack stopped talking as a slow smile curved Ennis's lips. "You pullin' my leg, ain't ya?"

"Maybe later," Ennis said. "Right now, we got a store to run."

Jack turned and looked in the direction of Ennis's guarded stare. The sidewalk was blocked by the crowd of people peering in the windows at the Western-themed sex shop. Taking a deep breath, Jack went to open the door.

Three pandemonious hours later…

"Hot damn!" Jack said, looking into the bulging register drawer, and then around at the denuded shelves, racks and counters.

There wasn't one 'Save a horse; ride a cowboy' t-shirt left in the place. Every golden lasso with free instruction pamphlet had been tested and purchased. You couldn't have found a pair of pink sequined stiletto-heeled cowboy boots for love nor money. The Brokeback Bootique was a bona-fide commercial success.

"Now ain't ya glad we left them cold, cold mountains," Jack asked, showering Ennis with twenty dollar bills.

"Shucks, you know money don't mean much to me. But this sure seems to put a big ol' smile on your face."

"Sure enough," Jack said, unbuckling his belt.

"What you doin', boy?"

"We ain't christened this place yet."

Ennis glanced quickly toward the plate glass windows.

"Shoot, we ain't got nuthin' to worry 'bout here, Ennis," Jack said, shucking his jeans and drawers. "Anythin' we can get up to, these folks have seen a hunerd times or more. They ain't gonna look twice at us."

"That so?"

Jack nodded solemnly and was completely unprepared for Ennis's full frontal assault. Ennis plowed into him, carrying him behind the counter and out of sight.

"I don't care what they might look at, once, twice or a hunerd times," Ennis growled. "You're mine, Jack Fuckin' Twist, and ain't nobody but me gonna be lookin' at you in the altogether."

"Suits me right down to the ground," Jack said, as Ennis flipped him over.

They had rapturous man sex, and, in the afterglow, as the last petal fell, Ennis slipped a glass cowboy boot on Jack's foot. Jack clicked his boot heels together three times. In a trice, they were magically transported to Brokeback Mountain. They stood on the green slope, sheep nuzzling their damp, tropical fruit scented crotches, as the cold wind rushed across their naked bodies.

"Shee-it," Jack said succinctly.

"April Fool," answered Ennis.

And everybody woke up.