"Then of course there's our match"

"Money in the bank baby!" Not even Chris Jericho could stop himself from laughing at how enthusiastically he'd repeated the match's tagline. Christian merely rolled his eyes and tried desperately to suppress the grin that was threatening to break out.

"And Triple H versus Batista…"

"Christian stop! You're starting to sound like a Wrestlemania advert."

"Well forgive me for being excited about the most important day of the year. Now where was I?"

Chris groaned theatrically and sat back on his hotel bed, his back pressed against the wooden headboard. "Please, I don't think I can take anymore of the never-ending hype."

Christian ignored his protests and continued on, taking great delight in Chris' good humored complaints. "JBL and Cena…"

Chris groaned again.

"And of course Piper's Pit with Steve Austin…"

There it was. It was only a fleeting look and someone who did not know Chris as well as Christian did would never have seen it. As soon as the look was there it had disappeared. It was a look of pain. Anger. Complete and utter heartbreak. And it killed Christian to see it.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think…"

"It doesn't matter" Chris stated simply. He smiled weakly at Christian but the smile did not manage to break the blue ice of his eyes. "It's not your fault my single biggest mistake is coming back to haunt me yet again."

Chris glanced down at the nondescript bedspread and started picking at the threads with his fingers. Steve Austin. Why did those two simple words still have the power to wrench his heart in two? He knew that Christian was watching him, watching his pain and discomfort. He didn't want to seem weak. He didn't want to break down. But he'd been fighting his emotions for so damn long that he had no fight left.

He was surprised when he felt Christian's arms cautiously snake around him but that was nothing compared to the surprise he felt when he returned the embrace. Chris buried his head in the crook of Christian's neck and allowed his surprise to be taken and absorbed by a feeling of comfort and strength.

Christian was even more surprised than Chris at his actions. They'd always been close friends, able to talk about any fears or doubts that they had, but they'd always kept a physical distance. As Christian buried his face in Chris' hair and inhaled the fruity intoxicating smell that invaded his every sense he wondered why they hadn't been more physical.

And then he remembered.

Christian ignored the sensations that were running up his spine. 'It wasn't your mistake Chris. It was Austin's."

"Then why am I the one who is still paying for it?" Chris asked, his usually confident voice sounding small and vulnerable "I bet Steve's not sitting in a hotel room thinking of me. I bet that he doesn't give a fuck whether he sees me at Wrestlemania or not."

"It's his loss Chris."

"Then why do I feel like the loser? Why am I the one still whining and crying over something that ended months ago and didn't mean a fucking thing to him!" he shouted. The volume and power of his voice may have increased but it did nothing to mask the raw pain concealed within it.

"I don't know" Christian said quietly. Chris's outburst had made him break the tight contact between the pair of them and Christian unconsciously pulled him tighter. Either Chris didn't mind or he didn't notice as he made no comment.

No matter how Chris looked at his poor excuse for a relationship with Austin he always came out as the loser. Not that he ever had any chance of winning. How can you win against someone who's heart has been exchanged for a vacuum? No, that wasn't quite right he thought. Steve didn't have a vacuum in his chest. It was an emotional black hole that suckered in the emotions of anyone stupid enough to get close enough. And Chris Jericho had certainly been stupid where Austin was concerned.

After all he had been the one who had changed the rules. Steve never changed from the first time they fucked to the day he left the company. It had been Chris who had changed, who had wanted more from someone who had plainly stated that he had nothing more to give. Steve had never deluded Chris with visions of hand holding and candle light dinners. He'd always been a locker room fumble and takeaway kind of guy and Chris knew that. Chris had walked into Austin's life knowing exactly what the guidelines were but he tried everything to change the rules.

He could still remember how Austin had broken his heart. It was with one simple sentence, one that was so typically Steve - "I love fucking ya, but I don't fucking love ya." Steve's mocking laughter still rang in his head. He'd though that his play on words had been so clever but it had just broken Chris' heart. To have his feelings, to have him brushed aside so easily had been too much to bare. The humiliation was then made worse by the way Austin had followed his statement with a laughable attempt to get Chris into bed again.

It was then that Chris realised exactly how much of a fool he had been. All Steve had wanted was a pretty face to wake up next to in the morning and he had been the most convenient. And also the most unobtainable. He'd never slept with anyone he worked with before and despite numerous hours of painstaking analysis, consider it an autopsy of sorts, he couldn't remember why Steve Austin had been so successful when so many before him had failed. He supposed that it didn't even matter anymore.

"Look at me. It's been almost a year and I'm still being stupid."

"I don't think you're stupid" Christian whispered softly.

Chris pulled away slightly and smiled. This time the smile did manage to melt the ice in his eyes and Christian felt something inside him melt also. Maybe it was his resistance. Maybe it was his common sense. The feel of his lips pressing against Chris' rendered him unable to care about anything other than the man in his arms. Chris' shock at Christian's bold action slowly dissolved to be replaced by a willingness to take any kind of comfort that Christian was offering.

Neither of them knew quite how it happened but they were soon both naked. Hands roamed over skin that only a few moments ago had never been seen by the other. Any ice that still remained in either of them had melted until it was ready to boil. Christian finally tore himself away from Chris' addictive mouth and lazily kissed his exposed skin. He wanted to explore every inch of the man he knew so well because he couldn't escape the fear that it would be his only chance.

He knew why he and Chris had never been hands on friends. He knew why there was never a hug waiting for him after a hard day or grueling match. It was because he could never leave it at just a hug. As he placed feathery kisses across Chris' abdomen he finally realized that he was completely and hopelessly in love with the man who was murmuring his name.

It was something that he had always known but had never wanted to admit, not even to himself. If Chris was a loser for loving someone who only saw them as a warm body and an easy lay then what did that make Christian? He was in love with someone who saw him as nothing more than a sounding post and a shoulder to cry on. Not that Chris ever touched the shoulder that he was crying on.

"Mm, Christian…" Chris whispered, his blue eyes hazed with lust. "Feels so good..."

Chris' mewled sounds of pleasure almost brought tears to Christian's eyes. He'd dreamed of this moment for so long but no dream could come close to the reality that lay before him. Why had Steve Austin been so stupid? Why had he not been able to see how lucky he was to be able to touch Chris, to caress the man that was going to haunt Christian until the day he died? Austin had perfection in his grasp and he allowed it slip through his fingers.

His mouth descended lower and he nuzzled Chris' hardened length. He felt strong but gentle hands on either side of his face however Christian didn't need any prompting. He lightly kissed one of Chris' open palms before taking him into his mouth, lightly grazing his silky skin with his teeth.

"Christian…"

Christian's lips curled into a smile when he heard Chris mutter his name. His voice was thick with arousal and sounded more like a strangled moan. Christian never thought that his name was sexy and erotic but then again it had never been spoken while in the throes of passion by the man he loved more than any other.

Every moan, every upward thrust into his mouth, every strangled cry was driving Christian wild. All of his senses were tuned into the responses of the man thrashing with pleasure beneath him. He could feel the fire within him burning strongly, the flames flickering in his heart, head and groin. He feared that the fire would consume him completely but there was something that stopped him getting burnt.

He knew what it was. He had tried to ignore it since he first tasted Chris' sweet mouth but try as he might he could not escape it, he could not escape the knowledge that Chris didn't want him. To any watching eye he and Chris would have looked like a couple in the first flush of lust but that was always the problem with appearances. They were deceptive. Chris was making all of the right noises and Christian had no doubt that he was enjoying every bit of pleasure that he was receiving but it wasn't Christian he wanted. It was still Stone Cold Steve Austin. All Christian was providing was a distraction.

Christian reluctantly released Chris from his mouth and sat back on his heels. Chris' protests at the loss of Christian's talented mouth were silenced by the fleeting look on Christian's face. It was only there for a moment and a lesser friend would not have noticed it but Chris did. He knew it well. It was the same look he had whenever anyone mentioned the name Steve Austin. Complete and utter heartbreak.

"Christian I…"

"Save it Chris. It doesn't matter. None of tonight matters. Let's just forget the whole thing ever happened."

'Why do we need to forget?" Chris asked as he lightly stroked the side of Christian's face. 'I think this is something we both need."

Christian moaned softly as Chris kissed him and gently eased his tongue into Christian's mouth. Christian wanted nothing more than to agree with Chris' suggestion and follow the teasing to it's end but he knew that no matter how much his body craved Chris the withdrawal would be too tough to take.

"No." It was a simple word. No difficult pronunciations or awkward syllables but it was also the single most difficult thing Christian had ever said.

"What?" Chris grimaced slightly and his gaze fell once again to the bedspread as he realized the significance of the simple word he had just uttered.

"I can't do this Chris. Not to you and definitely not to myself."

"You want this Christian. I know you do. You've wanted this for a long time and here's your chance. I know how you feel about me."

"Then you'll understand why I can't do this."

Christian could tell by the confused look on Chris' face that he couldn't understand at all. Chris' 'relationship' with Austin had been a well guarded secret and in his position as best friend Christian had heard about every step of their journey. He could still remember how hyperactive and brimming with joy Chris had been after he and Austin had spent their first night together. It was such a contrast to the resignation and willingness to settle for whatever was available that was evident in Chris' eyes tonight. And Christian knew that Chris deserved so much more than to settle for second best.

"I do love you Chris. More than Steve Austin ever could." He paused for a moment and smiled gently "but I can't do this. You not only deserve someone who will love you but someone you can love back. You could never love me. If we slept together tonight then you'd be doing the exact same thing to me that Austin did to you. You'd be giving me hope that eventually there'd be something more between us but that could never happen. I think I've accepted that now."

Christian nervously waited for Chris' reply but when none was forthcoming he started dressing, wanting nothing more than to put as much distance between himself and Chris as possible. He didn't dare to look at the object of his affections because he could feel his resolve quickly melting away again. He was halfway to the door when he felt a strong hand grip his arm. He steeled himself before turning to face Chris who was standing beside him in just his jeans. The smile he was greeted with nearly took his breath away and he couldn't help but think that all of the heartbreak was worth it just to see that perfect smile.

"Thank you" Chris said simply before drawing Christian into a hug. "Thank you for listening to me whine, thank you for giving me perspective, thank you for stopping me from making a big mistake tonight and most importantly thank you for being you."

Christian was glad that his face was once again buried in Chris' hair because he knew that the uncontrollable grin on his face was goofier than anything he ever pulled during the Edge and Christian days.

"Will you promise me something?" Chris asked.

"Anything."

"Next time I mention Steve Austin or get depressed at the mention of his name please beat some sense into me."

"Gladly."

"You give a good hug, man" Chris said with laughter in his voice, "we ought to do this more often."

THE END