It all started out as just another Sunday. The writer's strike gave all of us an opportunity to do all those little things that we missed out on while filming - long vacations, visits to friends and family back in the States, sleeping in. And that's what I was trying to do when the phone rang, pulling me out of a hot threesome with Vin Diesel and Colin Farrell. Don't ask, man - we all have our guilty pleasures.

To say that Jared's voice was full of panic was the understatement of the century. Jen's moans in the background definitely did not sound pleasurable, either. For a minute there, I thought they had actually listened to that douchebag Murray and tried to make a sex toy out of Mighty Putty. Little did I know that it was worse…so much worse.

All Jared said was, "dude, sorry to wake ya, but we're in a bit of a bind here and need some help. Can you come over? Oh yeah, and can you stop at the drugstore and pick up some tape and gauze?" Suddenly the prospect of some bondage game gone wrong was much more intriguing than watching Vin's suck-and-stroke technique in my dreams. I dressed as quickly as I could and headed to Casa Padalecki.

Since I didn't know the nature of the injuries that would require my assistance - and neither Jay nor Jen were answering the phone - I grabbed 5 different sizes of gauze bandages and a few rolls of tape. The antibiotic ointment and Bactine spray were right there, so I threw those in the basket too. I topped it off with a package of sour gummy worms and Hot Rod magazine, making sure I got a receipt. You can bet those jackoffs were paying me back for this.

When I pulled into the drive, Harley and Sadie rushed the gate, barking their fool heads off. Now that was a little strange. Jay hardly ever put them outside. I shrugged it off and headed for the front door. I didn't knock (one of the advantages of being that good a friend), just went in and helped myself to a beer before heading down the hall to find the dynamic duo.

The scent of greasy cheeseburgers assaulted my nose a few feet from the den. I stopped outside the door and peeked in. And that was when I saw it - Jensen lying on the floor, buck-ass naked except for a washcloth wrapped around his cock. Jared was just as undressed, one hand stroking Jen's hair and the other holding the cloth on. I shook the bag and exclaimed, "Never fear, Dr. Baum is here!"

Jared jumped, ripping the washcloth from Jen's cock, causing him to scream. Jared started apologizing, Jensen started cussing and I looked around, trying to figure out what happened. There were empty wrappers from the burgers laying on the table and bits & pieces of onion rings scattered across the floor. It looked like Harley had gone to town with them, which wasn't unusual.

"So…what seems to be the problem?" I asked, squatting down next to Jen. Neither of them said a word, just pointed to Jensen's cock. His swollen - and not in the good way - slightly bloody, very scraped up cock. I looked up at Jay. "Dude, you got barbed wire up your ass or something?" He shook his head, his face turning three shades of red as Jensen whimpered.

"Do I even want to know?" I asked as I surveyed the long scrape marks. "Prob'ly not," Jen answered through his clenched teeth. I took the can of antibacterial spray out of the bag and shook it up. "You might wanna close your eyes and mouth," I tell him before letting lose with the stuff. Jen screamed again. "That shit is cold, man!", he said, wincing. "Give a guy a warning next time!"

I think about apologizing but decide not to. I tell Jared that he has to help so he grabs the tip of Jen's cock and stretches it out so I can wrap it with gauze. When I finish mummifying Jen's manhood, I survey my handiwork before standing. I help Jensen up and watch as he staggers from the room, cursing under his breath the entire way.

Jay's looking at me, then down the hallway where Jensen's naked ass has just disappeared. His gaze shifts back to me and I look at him, the obvious question in my eyes. He blushes before muttering something. "What happened, Jay? It looks like somebody gnawed on Jen's cock for breakfast, lunch and dinner."

"Well, see…we went to get food for lunch. When we got home, we were eating and I took one of the onion rings out of the box to show Jen," he said. I nodded, motioning for him to continue. "It was huge! Like, as big around as my hand! And Jen said it looked like one of those ring you toss on the stick."

Suddenly, it was becoming very clear. Jay continued on with his explanation. "Well, one thing led to another, and Jen was takin' off his clothes and I was tossing the onion ring onto his…well…you know." The boy still couldn't bring himself to say the word, even after all this time together.

"I picked up another one and threw it on there," he said. "But it was smaller than the other one and it kinda got stuck. So Jen said maybe I should try to get it off…with my mouth. I was doin' that when Harley ran in here. She was eating all the onion rings off the floor and then…" Jay blushed, looking like he was about to cry. I was trying not to laugh.

"She ran over and tried to pull it off. You know, like she was pulling on a bone? When that didn't work, she just…" Jay opened his mouth and put it down over his finger. I couldn't hold it in any longer. The sound of my laughter echoed off the walls, blending with Jen yelling down the hallway that it wasn't funny. He was right - it was freakin' hilarious.