Never thought I'd be in this place
It's someone else's life I'm living
Wish I were living a lie
The hardest part is when the bough breaks
Falling down and then forgiving
I'm choking on the words I didn't get to say
And pray I get the chance one day

Chorus:
I still run, I still swing open the door
I still think you'll be there like before
Doesn't everybody out there know to never come around?
Some things a heart won't listen to
I'm still holding out for you

I can hear you smile in the dark
I can even feel you breathing
But daylight chases the ghosts
I see your coat and I fall apart
To those hints of you I'm clinging
I should get up dry my eyes and move ahead
At least that's what you would've said

(repeat chorus)

Faithfully I trace your name while you sleep
It's the only true comfort I feel

(repeat chorus)

Holding out
Holding out for you

'I wish this whole thing was a lie' Shawn thought to himself as he sat in his hotel room listening to CD's.

Ever since Dave had just left with no explanation and no warning Shawn had done his damnedest to avoid him backstage, and had for awhile he had, at least until tonight.

That was the reason for Shawn deciding to skip going out to a club or whatever it was the guys were doing right now and head back to his hotel room to relax, try and get some sleep, and forget about what had happened that night.

As he sat and looked back on his relationship with Dave, Shawn couldn't help but still be angry and hell, maybe even bitter about it. He thought all the questions and doubts that he'd had in the back of his mind had all been answered, but truth be told, they hadn't been answered in the slightest bit. The same questions kept running through his mind over and over again. Why would Dave leave the way he did? Why had he left in the first place? Was their someone else? were just a few of them and the more he thought about it, the more his head and heart ached.

His heart kept saying "You're crazy. He's different. He wouldn't hurt you like that if there wasn't a damn good explanation for it". His head kept saying "I told ya so" and everything that was the complete opposite of what his heart had said.

Mentally and physically exhausted, Shawn stopped the CD and climbed into bed just as the cell phone sitting on the night stand next to the bed started ringing.

"Leave me alone assholes. I'm trying to get some sleep" he said not looking at display panel, nor giving the caller a chance to speak.

"I'm sorry. I'll call back tomorrow" the caller replied.

Freezing where he sat as he recognized deep, husky voice on the other end of the line, Shawn said "David is that you?".

No longer holding back the nervous smile on his face, Dave replied "Yeah it's me".

Coming back to reality and remembering the argument that had just occurred between his head and his heart, Shawn growled "What do you want?"

Hearing the cold, bitter, angry tone in Shawn’s voice, Dave thought to himself 'Damn you Hunter. Why the hell did you ever make me choose between the best thing that ever has or ever will happen to me and Evolution? Was it jealousy? Was it because you couldn't stand the fact that he was happy and that for once you weren't a part of his life anymore? Was it because you couldn't stand the fact he and I were happy together? I may have very well blown the only I have ever had or will ever get with him and for what? Just to be treated like I'm some dumb ass muscle-headed idiot or to be one of your, as Randy put it, "glorified ass-kissers"? You've used me for the last time and I know exactly how I'm gonna get even with you for it' .

Growing impatient, Shawn asked "Still there Dave?"

"Yeah I'm still here. Sorry...I was thinking about something"

"Oh? And what would that be?"

Grinning a bit, Dave replied "Just how much I miss being with you and that I was a fuckin' dumb ass for letting my job come between us"

"Would you care to tell me to what I owe the honor of the oh-so-powerful beast Batista calling me?"

Dave silently cursed not only himself, but Hunter again as well. It was pretty clear to him that Shawn had not gotten over what had happened and was still trying to deal with it and as far as Dave was concerned, he deserved every bit of whatever it was Shawn had to get off his chest.

" I just want to talk about us" he replied.

Chuckling bitterly, Shawn said "The last time I checked there was no us. You ended that when you just up and walked out remember?"

"Look... I know I was the one who fucked by just leaving you without an explanation as to why, throwing away the best thing that ever has or will happen to me, and causing you so much pain and heartache, but this wasn't easy for me to do so do you think you can try and set aside your feelings for me at this point so we can talk like civilized, adult men?"

"You just walk out of my life, away from me and our relationship with no warning or explanation, then call me outta the blue almost a year later and you expect me to make this, or anything else for that matter, easy for you?" retorted Shawn.

With a sigh of frustration and anger at himself Dave said "I will understand if you wanna tell me you never want to hear from or see me again, but I just thought I would call and ask you for a chance to explain why I did what I did".

"Why now? Why almost a year later? Don't you think you should've done that when you walked out or even before that? Give me one good reason why I shouldn't end this conversation by hanging up on you"

Not knowing quite how to respond to that, Dave said "I honestly can't answer those questions Shawn. All I know is I still love you and would like a chance to explain myself".

Listening to his gut instinct Shawn said the only the he could say and that was "All right. I will give you a chance to explain yourself, but that doesn't mean I will be able to forgive you or forget the hell you've put me through".

"Would you like to meet somewhere tomorrow?" asked Dave.

"I'm flying back home to Texas tomorrow for the holidays. If you want you can come with me and stay at the ranch in one the guest bedrooms"

With a sigh of relief, Dave replied "That sounds great. What time does the flight leave?".

"It leaves at 9 a.m. so we have to be at the airport no later than 8 or 8:30"

"Wait... what about a ticket for me?"

"I'll call the airline and get one for you"

The smile returning to his face, Dave said "All right. I'll see you then".

"Ok. Good night"

"Good night. Hey Shawn?"

"Yeah?" he replied.

"Thank you and I love you"

As much as Shawn wanted to hate Dave and never hear those words muttered from his mouth again, he had to admit to himself that he had missed hearing Dave say that and replied "I love you too. Bye".

"Bye" said Dave as they each hung up their phones.