My life is one big sham.

I sing song after song about women's bodies and fucking them. Yet my greatest pleasure isn't in their mountains and valleys, but the feel of the moment I am in right now… flat on my back with my legs wrapped around Matt's waist. His cock is buried deep in my hole and his balls are slapping against my ass cheeks. For all the songs I've sung and written about sex the one that I want to write the most, the one that I've written a million times can never be heard by a public audience or be seen on any album or LP. For all my image and bravado, I wouldn't be half as famous as I am today if it wasn't for Matt.

I have fucked and dated what I proclaimed to be the baddest bitch in the world and yet the truth of the matter is that the baddest bitch in the world is probably me. It's true all the things they sat about me, or at least most of them anyway, but at the same time there are a lot of other things that are true that no one knows about but my Matt and me. The rest of the world doesn't know that I like a bubble bath then to be wrapped up in a pink fuzzy bathrobe and slippers after a concert. I like lying in bed at night feeling Matt's strong arms wrapped around me. People look at him and see his rumpled hair, big brown eyes, and laid back demeanor and immediately write him off. The truth is though that Matt is my source of strength. Matt's entrance into my life

Gave me not only self-confidence that my dreams could be achieved, but the peace my personal life needed. Matt gave me a foundation to build the rest of my life on. Without Matt, Robert Ritchie would have ceased to exist under the suffocating influence of Kid Rock.

At the moments when I am at my worst, my lowest, or when I feel like I am going to get lost, it is always Matt that reaches in and pulls me back up reminding me that when the day comes that Kid Rock and Uncle Kracker are just brief mentions on one of those VH 1 shows Matt and Bobby will still be together. When I look around me and wonder if there is anyone in the crowd of strangers and hanger-ons who care about Bobby, Matt reminds me that they don't mean fuck in the long road of our lives because we know each other and that's all that matters. When people ask me if I will ever settle down and be with one person forever it is Matt's face that always comes to mind. People go through my life with a blurry speed and sometimes it is all that I can do to hang on and hope to remember their names. I wake up in so many different places that usually I don't hold any hope of remembering where I am. Yet as long as I am lying in Matt's arms I don't worry about remembering anything else.

Although lately I have been forced to wake up many mornings without my Matt and it didn't take long for the cold reality of my situation to sink in. I have always appreciated Matt and the things that he does for me, and yet never before have I appreciated him more than I do now. The road has always been a long and lonely place, but always before I had Matt there to wrap his arms around me and tell me that everything would be alright, to keep me from going stir crazy, and just generally quietly love me in that way he does. Now though I have gotten a glimpse into what my life would be like without him and I can't say that I like it. It's cold and harsh and frustrating and it made me love him even more than I already did.

Maybe some day the world will be a different place and it will be safe for us to love each other openly and proudly. I think our situation and having to hide our love is the one thing that upsets him. I wish daily that I had the power to change the world and more often wonder if being Kid Rock is really more important than being Matt's lover and husband. I know he bought us rings and I know that he carries them around with him. I can always tell when he's thinking about it because there's a look in his eyes that almost breaks my heart in two. Each time it gets harder and harder to remember why it is I do what I do for a living. Every time I think that surely we have made enough money that it shouldn't matter anymore. Every time I swear that someday will come sooner than later.

I can see him watching me, and I can tell by the smile on his face that he knows that my mind isn't totally focused on the act we are in the middle of consummating, but true to form he doesn't complain. Matt knows that my brain rarely stops and knows how to make it when he wants to. I can tell by the look in his eyes that this is one of those moments. I will admit I am not sorry about it. This is the first day that we have spent together in months and thinking is the last thing that I want to do.

So before I go I am going to leave you one profound final thought to sum up everything I have been trying to tell you just in case you haven't guessed this point to all this.

I am the luckiest motherfucker in the world and it is all thanks to a foul-mouthed, brown-eyed, prettier than the day is long boy from Detroit Michigan.

The End!