Shannon sighed and lifting his bag heaved it over his shoulder before heading out of the locker room. Heading down the hall he hoped not to see anyone that would want to talk to him, but unfortunately luck wasn't on his side. "Shanny!" He heard Shane calling and with a sigh turned to see Shane grinning from ear to ear rushing down the hallway pulling Matt behind.

"Shann, we're going to go dancin' you wanna come?" Shane asked eagerly and Shannon hoped that his smile seemed sincere.

"Thanks for the offer," Shannon said trying to decide how best to get rid of his friends without hurting their feelings. "But I ain't really in the mood."

"Awwwwwwww come on Shanny," Shane pouted. "It's Matty's first night here! We haven't been out forever!"

Shannon sighed and looked away trying to think of something polite and not too harsh to say, and fortunately was rescued by Matt. "It's ok Shanny," Matt said and Shannon turned to look at the man that was more older brother than friend. "We'll have plenty of time to party. Why don't you go back to the hotel and call Jeff?"

"Jeffy's with Pauly this weekend remember?" Shannon asked softly and looked down the hall to where Chuck Palumbo was squealing as his lover Sean O'Haire lifted him off the floor. Turning back to his friends Shannon faked a smile. "They are having a couple days of love and romance remember?"

"Oh yeah I forgot," Matt admitted studying his more or less little brother with concern. "There's always Joey."

"He and Chrissy are working a show tonight and traveling to another," Shannon reminded. "Look guys I'll be fine I just… I'm goin back to the hotel huh?"

Shannon looked up at Matt hoping his friend would ignore the tears in his eyes and just let him go. "Go on Shanny," Matt said softly. "You need us and we'll have our cells on."

Shannon faked another smile and looked at the ground. "Thanks, but I jus' wanna be alone." Turning Shannon shuffled down the corridor his concerned friends already forgotten in a haze of painful memories floating through his brain. Walking automatically and hoping his feet would take him to his car Shannon tried to push away the memories of happier times and silently cursed himself. He was probably the only man who hated being there.

Unwillingly a pair of beautiful brown eyes and a sexy southern drawl entered his head and Shannon stumbled and barely caught himself before he fell. "Easy cupcake," he could hear Mike say laughing. "Don't want my Li'l Hostess Boy hurtin' himself."

Shannon didn't even try to stop the tears as they came flowing freely down his cheeks. Too bad Mike hadn't meant it. Shannon had been his Li'l Hostess Boy until Mike decided that he wasn't ready to be tied down. Of course it was just a coincidence that The Big Bad Pappa Wolf had called… right and Shannon was born yesterday.

Kevin Nash… Shannon thought he'd been his friend. Right! Friends always steal your man huh? Never mind Mike had been Kevin's first, but if he was only gonna steal him back why did he give him to Shannon in the first place? "Probably some fucked up Kliq prank," Shannon muttered to himself and looking up realized he'd walked most of the way across the parking lot completely passing his car.

Muttering under his breath Shannon turned and headed in the direction of his small rental. He kept his eyes on the asphalt so he wouldn't be able to see Lev and Brock kissing or hear Rey Rey laughing softly as he passed him while Eddie whispered in his ear in Spanish.

Finding his car Shannon unlocked the driver's side door and tossed his bag across to the passenger's seat. Getting in Shannon put the key in the ignition and turned it swearing at the song that came was playing. As if his neck was boneless Shannon's head dropped to rest on the steering wheel as the words tore at his heart.

This romeo is bleeding
But you can't see his blood
It's nothing but some feelings
That this old dog kicked up

It's been raining since you left me
Now I'm drowning in the flood
You see I've always been a fighter
But without you I give up

I can't sing a love song
Like the way it's meant to be
Well, I guess I'm not that good anymore
But baby, that's just me

And I will love you, baby - Always
And I'll be there forever and a day - Always
I'll be there till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst and
The words don't rhyme
And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind
And I'll love you - Always

Now your pictures that you left behind
Are just memories of a different life
Some that made us laugh, some that made us cry
One that made you have to say goodbye
What I'd give to run my fingers through your hair
To touch your lips, to hold you near
When you say your prayers try to understand
I've made mistakes, I'm just a man


When he holds you close, when he pulls you near
When he says the words you've been needing to hear
I'll wish I was him 'cause those words are mine
To say to you till the end of time

Yeah, I will love you baby - Always
And I'll be there forever and a day - Always

If you told me to cry for you
I could
If you told me to die for you
I would
Take a look at my face
There's no price I won't pay
To say these words to you

Well, there ain't no luck
In these loaded dice
But baby if you give me just one more try
We can pack up our old dreams
And our old lives
We'll find a place where the sun still shines

And I will love you, baby - Always
And I'll be there forever and a day - Always
I'll be there till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst and
The words don't rhyme
And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind
And I'll love you - Always

Only he hadn't. Mike hadn't loved him any longer than it took Big Sexy to get bored. Sniffling Shannon straightened and with determination put the car into drive and pulled out of the parking spot wishing it was that easy to leave his broken heart behind.

On his way to the hotel he went through a Taco Bell drive-thru. Pulling up to the window he sighed and dropped his eyes as the girl at the window squealed recognizing him. When a pen came with his drink and food Shannon dutifully dug his receipt out of his bag and signing it gave it to the happy girl who never realized his world was over.

Pulling out of the restaurant drive Shannon's mind wandered again as Mike appeared in his brain. "Them little girls just can't get enough of My Li'l Hostess Boy huh? Too bad for them his creamy fillin' is all mine!" Shannon heard his own squealed laughter as he was attacked in his head by tickling fingers and his jerking hands tried not to get them killed as he swerved across to the other lane trying to avoid Mike.

The blare of a horn jerked him back to reality and bright headlights almost made him panic. Jerking the wheel Shannon barely avoided the oncoming truck and as his entire body shook he pulled into a dark side street. Shannon was barely able to put the car in park before falling apart. His compact body shaking as sobs tore through him, Shannon stopped fighting the urge to fall apart and as he sobbed thanked God that at least he was alone.

When he finally calmed Shannon felt empty, as if someone had stolen everything inside of him and left him with nothing in return. If he was honest he would admit that he'd been empty for quite some time and the tears he shed weren't because Mike Sanders used him for a play thing until his Big Daddy was ready to play again.

After all Shannon had only been using Mike too… it was just that Shannon's Big Daddies weren't around to call for him and probably never would be. "What do I have to offer that Japan doesn't right?" Shannon whispered into the emptiness of the car and the only answer that he got was the radio as the commercial stopped and a new song played.

I guess the time was right for us to say
We'd take our time and live our lives
Together day by day
We'll make a wish and send it on a prayer
We know our dreams can all come true
With love that we can share

With you I never wonder--will you be there for me
With you I never wonder--you're the right one for me
I finally found the love of a lifetime
A love to last my whole life through
I finally found the love of a lifetime
Forever in my heart
I finally found the love of a lifetime

With every kiss, our love is like brand-new
And every star up in the sky
Was made for me and you
Still we both know that the road is long
We know that we will be together
Because our love is strong

I finally found the love of a lifetime
A love to last my whole life through
I finally found the love of a lifetime
Forever in my heart
I finally found the love of a lifetime

Only it hadn't been a lifetime. The end of WCW had equaled out to the end of his 'love of a lifetime'. His perfectly matched pair hadn't been welcome and he had been too foolish realize what he'd had. When BA and Bry had been kicked out of WWF they asked… no begged Shannon to come with them, but foolishly… selfishly Shannon insisted it wasn't fair he be asked to give up his dream before barely getting a chance to live it. They'd had their shot in the big time and all he'd wanted was his. They both had successful runs in WWF and all he'd wanted was his.

Now all he wanted was them.

As had become a familiar gesture Shannon sat up and squared his shoulders. He'd chosen a career over love and now he was paying for it. He could either fight and make something of this fuck-up he'd committed or he could sit there in this dark alley crying like a three year old for the rest of his life. Putting the car in reverse Shannon pulled out into the street and carefully made his way to the hotel.

When he finally reached his room Shannon tossed his cold and now unwanted food into the trash can and let his bags drop to the floor. The open door of the bathroom and the shower just beyond beckoned him and Shannon quickly stripped off all his clothes then moved inside shutting the door behind him. Turning on the water Shannon stuck his hand under the tap waiting for it to warm to a point just below scalding… that was just the way Bryan liked it.

Bry used to tease BA that he was trying to burn his cooties off his body and involuntarily Shannon giggled remembering the growl that always came from BA's twitching lips as he tried not to laugh. Usually the two men would start off in a mock battle and by the time the water was hot the shower was forgotten leaving Shannon to enjoy the warmth. Falling back to reality Shannon's head jerked towards the outer room as he realized the phone was ringing.

He debated for all of two seconds on whether or not to answer it, but unlike Jeff's strange lover he had no problems with listening to it ring. Figuring they would go away and get the hint eventually Shannon shut the bathroom door firmly and stepped under the spray.

Shannon closed his eyes and let the water run over his face and down his body wishing all his heartaches and loneliness could fall away as easily as the drops of water. His traitorous mind played another memory this time of BA climbing into the shower with him. His brown eyes sparkling with mischief and promises of ecstasy as he firmly turned Shannon around.

He remembered placing his hands on the wall for support as BA's hands worked their way over tired shoulders and sore muscles kneading knots and easing the pain that came with being a cruiserweight. Eventually Shannon's head would drop and a moan would escape his lips as the touch turned sensual. When the long beefy finger entered his puckered hole Shannon's legs would be well on their way to turning to mush and that wall would now be a God send.

When he was lifted up he would automatically brace one hand on the shower rod and one on the wall as BA's long hard cock eased into him and words of love and comfort were whispered into his ear. Seconds became minutes and minutes hours as time slowed allowing Shannon his very own tour of heaven at the hands of one of his big lovers.

When he came he would know there was no better place in the world. Opening his eyes Shannon let the cum slide through his fingers as again the sobs racked his small body and he slipped to the shower floor curling up in a fetal position just wishing it would swallow him whole putting him out of his misery.

Eventually the water ran as cold as his bed and his life was these days and Shannon was forced to get up and turn the water off or run the risk of getting sick. Stepping out of the shower he pulled a towel around him and again shutting his eyes pretended he could feel Bryan's hands drying him off as the larger man loved to do so much. Wrapped in his little world of memories where he was again loved and cherished Shannon walked out of the room in a haze. Walking past the unchained door Shannon headed for one of the empty beds ignoring the blinking light on the room's answering machine signaling someone had left him a message.

Moving to the center of one of the empty beds Shannon curled up into a ball and fell into an uneasy sleep dreaming of a land of love and comfort where his loved ones thrived called Japan.

Shannon was jerked out of his sleep and groggily sat up wondering what had awakened him. The ring of the telephone on the bed next to him was an obvious signal and Shannon sighed rolling over and staring at the phone waiting for the machine to pick up.

"CUPCAKE PICK UP THE DAMN PHONE!" Shannon heard Mike Sanders screaming and debated for several seconds before picking up the receiver knowing that Mike would just keep calling until he did as he was told.

"What do you want MICHAEL?" Shannon ground out through clenched teeth.

"Nice to hear your cheery voice too," Mike said huffily.

"I was sleeping jackass," Shannon spat and ran a hand over his face pretending it wasn't the same gesture BA performed when he was annoyed. "What the fuck do you want Mike? Nash got tired of you already?"

"Such bitterness in such a little body is rather unattractive," Mike replied cheerfully and Shannon lifted the phone away from his ear slamming the phone down onto it's cradle.

In Florida Mike huffed and wrinkled his nose as his large lover raised an eyebrow. "I told ya he wasn't gonna talk to me Ding Dong," Mike replied hitting the off button on the cell phone and handing it back to Kevin.

"Well let him be surprised then," Kevin said shrugging. "Ain't no skin off my ass. Sides I have better things to do with my night." Then growling Kevin lifted his smaller lover into his arms and carried him towards the bedroom they shared.

Back at the hotel Shannon rolled over and stared at the curtain covering a window that probably overlooked an indoor pool. He somehow knew that sleep wasn't going to be coming, but refused to give in and admit that insomnia was going to be his friend again that night.

Down at the front desk of the hotel the tall man winked as the giggling girl gave him the key he'd asked for making his equally large lover growl. As they stepped into an empty elevator BA's grown of annoyance became a happy one as Bry's arms sneaked around his waist. "Do you think they got him?" Bryan asked worried.

"Who knows with Nash," BA shrugged. "We'll just have to wait and see."

"I'm tired of waiting Crush," Bryan whispered and BA sighed kissing his partner's cheek.

"I know baby, but it isn't much longer," BA whispered and tried to settle his nervous stomach knowing they wouldn't help his lover who was on the verge of falling apart.

While Japan had been wonderful careerwise, personally it had been hell. Everywhere they turned was a sight they wanted to share with Shannon and were barely there 24 hours before they were longing to come home. "What if he don't want us back?" Bryan asked for the millionth time and BA sighed pretending his stomach didn't turn over with fear.

It hadn't been easy for the two giant men to admit that they needed their little love more than they needed the ego boost that the Japanese fans gave them. All the cheers in the world didn't matter when every second their hearts died a little more. Finally when their contracts came to an end they quickly declined the offer to stay and booked the first flight home.

When the elevator came to a stop with a ding Bryan straightened and let BA pull him down the hall as the searched for the room housing their tiny piece of heaven. When Shannon heard the soft knock on the door he groaned and waited a half-second before rolling over and getting out of bed without questioning why.

"I swear to God if this is a fucking squealing little girl I am ripping her head off fan or no," Shannon muttered yanking the door open to see a broad chest greeting his eyes.

"How many times do we have to tell you to put the chain on when we aren't here?" BA asked automatically getting an elbow to the gut from Bryan.

Fortunately Shannon was too busy wondering if he'd fallen into a deep sleep after all slipping into another torturous dream to hear what BA had said. Rubbing his eyes Shannon tried to blink away the sleep that wasn't there and slowly looked up the chest that he knew better than his own to find a pair of scared and hopeful blue eyes staring back at him.

Shannon's jaw opened and closed repeatedly as he tried to find words to speak as his eyes darted from blue to brown and back until his vision was blurred and his knees giving way. Falling forward Shannon found two pair of strong arms surrounding him as he sobbed his apologies begging for selfishness to be forgiven.

When he was lifted into Bryan's loving arms Shannon curled his body into Bry's latching onto him like a child afraid of losing a parent reaching his hand out to touch the hair of BA who was following closely.

Shannon found himself set down in Bry's lap as he was rocked back and forth like a small child as words of love only meant for adult ears were whispered by two giant's called monsters by most but known to be teddy bears by the frightened young man.

Shannon's tears stopped long before his sobs quieted having shed so many that night already, but eventually he did quiet although he refused to release his almost deathlike grip on Bryan sure he would disappear if he let go. Eventually BA got up and shut and locked the open door then laid down curling himself into Shannon's back effectively sandwiching their obviously scared love between them in a cocoon of safety and love. As sleep commanded his attention Shannon gripped fistfuls of Bryan's hair determined he would still be there when he woke up.

Here I am, I'm in the wrong bed again
It's a game I just can't win
There you are breathin' soft on my skin, yeah
Still you won't let me in
So come on

Why save your kisses for a rainy day
Baby let the moment take your heart away

Have you ever needed someone so bad, yeah
Have you ever wanted someone you just couldn't have
Did you ever try so hard that your world just fell apart
Have you ever needed someone so bad
And you're the girl I gotta have
I gotta have you baby, yeah

There you go, midnight promises again, yeah
But they're broken by the dawn
You wanna go further, faster everyday, baby
But in the morning you'll be gone
And I'm alone

Why save your kisses for a rainy day
Baby let the moment take your heart away


Have you ever needed someone so bad, yeah
Have you ever wanted someone you just couldn't have
Did you ever try so hard that your world just fell apart
Have you ever needed someone so bad

Every dream I dream is like
Some kinda rash 'n' reckless scene
To give out such crazy love
You must be some kinda drug
And if my time don't ever come
For me you're still the one
Damned if I don't, damned if I do
I gotta get a fix on you

Have you ever needed someone so bad, yeah
Have you ever wanted someone you just couldn't have
Did you ever try so hard that your world just fell apart
Have you ever needed someone so bad, so bad
Have you ever wanted someone, have you ever wanted someone, yeah
Did you ever try so hard that your wourld just fell apart
Have you ever needed someone so bad
And you're the girl I gotta have
I gotta have you baby, yeah

It's a game I just can't win, oh

Have you ever needed someone so bad, yeah
Have you ever wanted someone
Have you ever wanted someone, you just couldn't have
Did you ever tried so hard, yeah

Shannon yawned wondering why Jeffy was singing in his head and why he couldn't move. "I missed that," Shannon heard a soft voice whisper and without thinking asked, "what?"

"That mewing sound you make just before you wake up," Bryan sighed happily and Shannon giggled then froze as he realized Bryan was real.

"Oh My God," Shannon whispered as his eyes grew. "You ain't a dream." BA mumbled in his sleep and pulled Shannon closer grinding his morning hard-on into Shannon's ass. "Holy shit you REALLY ain't a dream and BA hasn't shrunk has he?"

Bryan giggled as he kissed the top of Shannon's ass. "No he hasn't," Bryan whispered, but when Shannon didn't comment he sighed.

"Shanny talk," Bryan softly ordered and heard Shannon sniffle.

"I'm a selfish bitch," Shannon responded and Bryan frowned as BA opened his eyes. Bry wasn't surprised to see the concern there.

"No you aren't," BA grumbled surprising Shannon.

"But I…" Shannon started but was stopped by Bryan.

"You are a young man at the beginning of his career," he insisted. "You have every right to want to get your shot to shine. WE are the ones that were selfish. We should have sucked it up and found a way to work in the US. We have no right to ask you to give up your shot… your chance… your dreams to come to a place where you aren't going to fulfill them. WE let our pride stand in the way."

"But I should have KNOWN," Shannon cried full of angst and hated the familiar tears that again filled his eyes.

"Should have knows what Little One?" BA asked leaning up and kissing Shannon's cheeks.

"That I would die without you," Shannon whispered painfully. "That getting a shot at the spotlight ain't nothin' if I am dying every second my heart has to beat on it's own. That I ain't strong enough to do this all by myself and have to watch all my friends together and happily in love when all I want is to be on the first flight to Japan."

"Well no more," Bryan said firmly. "We are back and we ain't leaving the country again unless you can come with us."

Shannon's hopeful eyes looked up and his jaw dropped. "You mean it?"

"We'll find a way," BA swore. "Even if we have to be Taker's bitches again."

Shannon's arm's tightened around Bry's neck and, as BA setteled in close enough to make the three of them one person, Shannon thanked God that there would be no more need for dreams of Japan.

The End!