"I FUCKING HATE YOU!"

"OH little brother not NEARLY as much as I hate you! THAT I can guarantee!"

"You are such a fucking PRICK! Why can't you ever let me win!"

"LET YOU WIN??? LET YOU WIN?? YOU ARE JEFF MOTHERFUCKING HARDY I DON'T HAVE TO LET YOU WIN ANYTHING! YOU GET EVERYTHING BY DEFAULT! THE GODS PROCLAIM IT AND ANGELS COME DOWN FROM HEAVEN TO SEE TO YOUR EVERY MOTHERFUCKING WANT AND NEED! EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE A FUCKING SPOILED BITCH WHORE AND THE ONLY PERSON YOU HAVEN'T FUCKED IS OUR MOTHER!"

Silence rained down upon the room at that statement as the brother's chest's heaved while one face stared at the other in shock. Outside the storm raged as if the very God's that Matt proclaimed spoiled his little brother were protesting the angry words coming from two of their creations.

"You always said that our love was forged by the Gods and that was why people didn't like it or accept it because they wouldn't understand something so perfect. I guess you forgot to mention the part about the God responsible for us was the God of War huh Matty? Cause lord knows it ain't the God of Love"

With that statement made Jeff ripped the Hardy Boyz Chain off his neck that his brother had given him as a sign of his love. He rarely was ever seen without it, but somehow at that moment it burned his skin as if made of acid and he couldn't stand to have it touching his skin any longer. Dropping it at his brother's feet he ran out of the house into the storm as his brother stared at the spot he had vacated, still shocked at the hateful words that had come out of his mouth.

Then as if suddenly realizing that the spot was sitting empty he ran out onto his front porch and into the rain hollering for someone that was no longer there.

"JEFF, COME BACK! JEFF…"

Falling down onto his knees the elder brother, sworn to love and protect his younger sibling for all eternity, threw his head back and raged at the God's for making them hollering at the top of his lungs.

"GODDAMN YOU! I LOVE HIM! I LOVE HIM! I LOVE HIM! GODDAMN YOU I LOVE HIM!"

Finally Matt got up and wandered inside touching the play button on his stereo and grabbing the blanket that smelled of their scent moved to curl up in the window seat and watch the rain. He forgot that Jeff had been in here earlier writing and when the music began to play he winced and closed his eyes against the pain that tore at his chest… Their song…. The song that said everything he had always wanted to say to Jeff and never had the courage to.

It´s hard for me to say the things
I want to say sometimes
There´s no one here but you and me
And that broken old street light

It wasn't that he didn't have the words. It was just that next to Jeff's eloquence he always felt like the country bumpkin when he tried to tell him how he felt. Jeff was the prince and he was just the poor pauper begging for a coin only to be blessed with the crown jewels at the hands of a merciful rainbow colored prince.

He loved him. He loved him more than anything in this world and he knew in his heart that Jeff loved him with a passion that was reserved for him and him alone. Wild animals were not meant to be kept in cages or given rules and regulations. Free spirits were not supposed to be trapped inside guidelines and grudges. Jeff loved HIM and it didn't matter what his body did with other people… it was what his HEART did that counted and Matt knew to the bottom of his soul that Jeff's heart held space for one person and one person alone. And that was him.

Lock the doors
leave the world outside
All I´ve got to give to you
Are these five words and i

Reaching his house Jeff stomped up the front steps and slammed into the house. Heading into the living room he plopped down into the chair by the window to watch the world expressing how he felt.

Leaving the WWE was supposed to have been a GOOD thing. He was supposed to have been able to do anything he wanted… to enjoy his art and his poetry and his music and go as he wanted to and not go when he didn't want to. He was supposed to have been able to live the life he always wanted, but then on that first Monday night as he sat at home and stared at the TV that he refused to turn on he realized something… He HAD been living the life he always wanted… and now he just had nothing but a handful of empty forgotten dreams to survive on… And Matty.

Thank the Gods for Matty. If it weren't for him… Jeff didn't want to consider the possibilities. His love, his devotion kept Jeff alive. It kept him hopeful that someday some how he could find a way to get his dreams back. But how long… How long would that last? How long until Matty realized that his brother was now nothing more than a deadbeat not really contributing anything useful to their relationship. He had no clue what Matty had come home so pissed off about.

From the second that he'd walked through the front door it had been World War Three. Jeff was the spoiled bitch and Matt was the perfect son. But that was the way it was with everyone. IF there was a problem with the world God knows that some way some how Jeff Hardy must be responsible. Hunger, homelessness, unemployment and the Kennedy Assassinations all were HIS doing.

Thank you for loving me
For being my eyes
When I couldn´t see
For parting my lips
When I couldn´t breathe
Thank you for loving me
Thank you for loving me

Matty always told him that it was because the worlds couldn't understand something given to them straight from the hands of the Gods a creation so perfect that humanity couldn't understand his purpose and existence. Jeff always thought that Matt was full of shit when he said that, but nonetheless it always made him feel better so who was he to argue? But then Matt has that way about him. Just when Jeff needed him the most Matt always seemed to know and had just the right words to say. Sure he wasn't the most eloquent guy on the face of the planet, but he had his own way. Jeff got more comfort out of Matty's stumbling words of love that he ever could from some flowery mushy spew of love probably rehearsed a million times before it was said. Matty's words were straight from the heart. There was no practicing or planning he just opened his mouth and out they came God bless them. It was them that helped him go on even when he didn't think he could or even should.

I never knew I had a dream Until that dream was you

Everything in his whole life had always been Matty. For as long as he could remember it was Matt that saw to his every need and it was Matt that kissed his boo boos and it was Matt that chased away the bullies. It was Matt that had shown him his purpose in life. It was Matt that had taught him his goals and it was Matt that had given him his passions. Matt was the reason he'd wanted the dirt bike so it would be him that Matt would put up on his wall. Matt was the reason he'd started music so that it was his words Matt sang off key to in his room. Matt was the reason he'd gotten into his art because of how he always fawned over the scribbles Jeff put on paper and gave to him so proudly. Somehow he had ALWAYS known what they were supposed to be and encouraged him to do more. It was Matt that had started him writing with that poem every kid wrote at school…

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Sugar is sweet

When I look into your eyes The sky´s a different blue

Only instead of writing "And so are you" he'd written "An Matty I Lob U" much to his teacher's distain and the teasing of the other kids, but he hadn't cared cause he knew when Matt saw it that he would love it. And so he had hanging it in his room so that it wouldn't get ruined. When Matty said that their love was made by the Gods Jeff never questioned it cause he knew that from the day he hade been born he had loved his brother in a way that only a God could decree. IT was because of Matt that he was Jeff Hardy the unique one that marched to the beat of his own drummer and colored the world all the shades of the rainbow. It was because of Matt that he was who he was. But no matter how many times he thanked him for it somehow it didn't seem adequate.

Cross my heart
I wear no disguise
If I tried, you'd make believe
that you believed my lies

Thank you for loving me
For being my eyes
When I couldn´t see
For parting my lips
When I couldn´t breathe
Thank you for loving me

Matt tried not to look forward, but the picture he'd purposely hung on the wall in the window seat purposely drew his attention. It was his favorite picture of Jeff because it was the rare time that the photographer had managed to catch…. HIM. Not boy extreme, or the Poet Savant, or the Artist, or the Rebellious Rocker, or even the Rainbow Boy intent on coloring everyone's world just a little more, but instead he had caught Jeffrey Nero HIS Jeffy in a moment that the worlds rarely got to see. Of course it had been overlooked and almost discarded, but Matt had thrown one of his rare fits and gotten his way. The photographer had made him his own copy of the picture since it had made such an impression on him.

As soon as his home was built, Matt had hung that picture here, so that he could sit right where he was and look at that picture remembering everything that was good and right in his life. Heaven help him but he had tried so hard in the beginning to pretend he hadn't felt what Jeff did, but even then he knew that he was jus kidding himself. The first time his daddy had placed Jeff in his arms and proclaimed him HIS to protect and love Matt had taken it to heart.

Although when it came to LOVING your brother… that had been a sin that he pretended wasn't going to happen ever. Bless his little heart Jeff just kept on telling his Matty how much he loved him and pretending he understood why his big brother paled when he said such things. Never once did he push or name call or make threats… he just kept on being Jeffy until Matt finally fell under the pressure and had to admit who and what he was. Matt Hardy the good southern boy who used to go to church on Sunday, who visited his Mamma's grave as often as his schedule allowed him, and who got his ass pounded by his brother as often as Jeff could get it up to do so.

Through the years of denying that it didn't exist, then the years of damning it saying they would be sent to burn in hell Jeff had kept strong believing in his own little way in the love he held in his heart for his big brother and the world be damned! How on earth could Matt have done anything else but crumble and admit that he was head over heals in love with his baby brother. And every night as he went to bed he prayed to the Gods that Jeff insisted understood and thanked them for sending him his rainbow angel boy to love. So then what on earth had possessed him to lash out and hurt the very creature he'd sworn to protect? All because Rob Van Damn had opened his big mouth and bragged how he was the top bitch now that the rainbow whore was gone.

You pick me up when I fall down

Jeff sniffled and rubbed his cheek against the blanket Matt had draped across the back of the chair the last time he was there and inhaling breathed in his brother's scent. It reminded him of some strange combination of musk and cookies…. Manliness and home… the things that personified HIS Matty. No matter what he did Matty was always there to make it all better. A kiss when he needed it, a hung when eh needed that and sometimes a kick in the ass when everything else didn't work. When Jeff had needed his space to figure out who JEFF the individual was Matt had swallowed his fears and his pride and went to Smackdown where he knew he would be thrust into the bottomless pit of hopelessness that was the cruiserweight division. But for Jeff he had done it.

And in typical Matt fashion he'd proved to them all that you can't hold him back. Matt had known they all thought that would be the final nail in the coffin of his career, but more that once he had been forced to fight for their dreams only this time it was HIS dream he was fighting for. Eventually they would learn that Matt Hardy can't be stopped… just like they had learned that Jeff could.

Without Matt his focus had wandered. He had felt lost amongst the veterans and giants that made up Raw. He'd been left with people he didn't know and couldn't relate to. Idiots who thought THEY knew where Jeff Hardy should be going with his career even though all Jeff wanted by the fifth minute Matt had been gone was to go to Smackdown. No one understood about wild animals and free spirits. Finally after a mountain of rules and structure and do's and don'ts had been placed on his back he crumbled and gave in. they'd wanted to know how much he could take… how far they could push before he could break… how lonely he could get without Matt before he would quit and they found out.

Paul and JR had pushed one too many times and finally Jeff Hardy, who had never been the fighter his brother was just got tired of pushing back. Quietly he'd packed his bags and left without any fanfare or praise or good byes or even a good luck. He'd simply slipped out the back door and walked into the emptiness that was his future. Options are a wonderful thing… IF at least one of them holds that tiny little spark called passion. But since his passion was Matt… unfortunately for Jeff they didn't. So day after day, night after night, trip after trip Jeff sat here in his chair waiting for Wednesday to come so Matty could be home again bringing back his passion to him.

You ring the bell before they count me out

Holding the picture in his hands Matt wiped the tears off his face knowing that he was the reason Jeff had left. Everyone raved about what a success Matt had become. They all patted his back about how he'd stepped up to the plate and made something out of nothing, but he knew that it wasn't him that had made Mattitude a success, but Jeff. It was Jeff that had encouraged him. It was Jeff's voice he heard in his head every time they made him speak. It was Jeff's love he felt in his heart with every step he'd taken up that ladder of success not bothering to look back and check to see his one and only love was still stuck at the bottom afraid and alone. Jeff had always hated ladders…. the irony of all ironies. The Boy Extreme known for his thrill seeking leaps of faith off the tops of ladders onto people laid across tables was scared to death of being perched at the top all alone. Matt just never thought that would include the ladder of success though.

While he shined in the spotlight that Jeff's love and encouragement had helped him to create Jeff had withered and died. Jeff had been the one to sacrifice this time. Stephanie had told him how they had wanted to put the Hardy Boyz back together. THAT was what the big meeting had been about with Paul and JR that Jeff had walked out on. That was the straw that Jeff wouldn't let them place on the camel's back. It had been that or nothing and Jeff had chosen nothing…. For him… for his Matty, For Matt to be given the keys to success Jeff had taken the low road to solitude and desolation

If I was drowning you would part the sea
And risk your life to rescue me

Jeff closed his eyes and turned his head from the window now wanting to watch the storm any longer. It brought him no pleasure. It brought him no comfort. It brought him nothing. Just like the emptiness his life had become. The farther away from shore he drifted in the sea of despair he'd stepped into the harder and harder it had become to hold his head up and believe that it really was doing to be alright this time. All he could see of his future was a nothingness of home keeping and animal tending. Every day that went by he felt the part of him that thrived on the roar from the crowd die a little more and more. He had nightmares that someday he would wake up a round content homemaker washing Matty's underwear as he was on the road waiting for him to come him and kiss him on the cheek and say, "Can't stay long honey… got a signing to do. I'm just picking up some fresh clothes and leaving." And somehow in the sad state his life had become Jeff would be ok with that happy that he'd at least gotten he peck on the cheek.

That wasn't him. That wasn't Jeff Hardy. That wasn't what he was supposed to become damnit. God where was Matty? Why wasn't he saving him like he always did? Why was he just letting him drown? Why was he going on without him?

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah!....

Someone said that the view from the top was a lonely one. Matt sighed remembering Jeff's words of bravado swearing it wouldn't be for them because they would be standing there together. And as long as they had each other what did they need anything else for? Matt hung his head letting the picture fall to land on the cushion realizing that he had committed the biggest sin a Hardy Boy could… he'd gone on alone. He'd let THEM win. Ht had let them break them apart, because after all everyone knew that Matt and Jeff Hardy together were unbeatable. Together… together they were a force that no one not even Paul Levesque and the McMahon's could stop.

He'd forgotten the plan… shared glory. Proving to the world that you could stand TOGETHER and still have individual success THAT was what they had set out to accomplish. Yet now here they were… Matt was left standing in the ring alone and Jeff was falling from that big ladder of life. Only if he crashed and burned this time there wouldn't be another try on another day.

Getting up Matt ran from the house and jumped into his car swearing on all the Gods in the heavens that he'd find the path again if they would just give Jeff the courage to forgive him for being a selfish bastard and an idiot.

Lock the doors
leave the world outside
All I´ve got to give to you

He almost didn't open the door. He heard the pounding and had need the headlights reflected on the wall through the window, but couldn't imagine who it could be and had no urge to talk to visitors whether they be strangers or friends. But somehow when that pounding stopped he was filled with something unnamable. He knew that this was one of those life moments and if he picked the wrong one he would spend the rest of his life thinking.,.. I wonder if. Bursting out of the chair he ran to the front door and threw it open only to see Matt walking down his drive.

"MATTY!"

Are these five words and i Thank you for loving me

When his brother spun around and looked at him Jeff just knew it would all be ok. Matty hadn't left him to drown after all. As if possessed by Shannon Matt bounced back up the drive and up the steps to stand grinning at him at the top as if he'd won the heavyweight title.

"I forgot to say I love you."

For being my eyes
Oh, when I couldn't see
For parting my lips
When I couldn't breathe
Thank you for loving me

When I couldn't fly
Oh, you gave me wings
You parted my lips
When I couldn't breathe
Thank you for loving me
Thank you for loving me
Thank you for loving me
Oh, for loving me

Slowly Jeff grinned matching his brother's and then taking his had pulled him inside and led him through the house to the bedroom they had shared on more than one occasion. Tisking over his brother's wet state Jeff picked up an old sweatshirt laying on the floor and ran it over Matt's long dark curls using it as a towel to dry them while they stared into each other's eyes.. Once he was satisfied with that Jeff dropped the sweatshirt and began stripping wet clothes off his brother slowly and let his hands wander over his brother's body as he went marveling at the goose bumps that rose at his touch.

Matt let his head fall backwards and his eyes close as he shivered at Jeff's touch letting his electricity make it's way through Matt's body filling him with his essence. Tiny moans and whimpers escaped his throat wanting more needing more but knowing that Jeff wouldn't be rushed. As always it was what he loved and hated about him. When he felt Jeff's lips running over his shoulder inward towards his neck Matt felt himself stir and put his hands on Jeff's hips whimpering at the clothing that was keeping him from the skin he wanted to feel so badly.

Raising his head Matt opened his eyes to see Jeff studying his face as his hands held it between them. The love and devotion there was unmistakable and even a blind man would have been able to see so plainly what Matt had again been refusing to see. Together they are something wonderful, but apart… they are simply nothing even if nothing comes with golden wrapping.

"I love you."

"I love you too, My Matty."

Jeff leaned in and touched his lips to Matt's then shivered knowing he was finally right where he belonged. Matt's arms lifted so that his hands could tear at buttons and pull at zippers until they were both finally wrapped into the same naked cocoon. Pushing Matt's shoulders Jeff urged his brother backwards until he sat down on the edge of them bed. Scooting backwards Matt kept his eyes on Jeff who followed him across the bed and again pushed on his shoulders until he was lying flat on his back with Jeff lying on his side next to him.

Jeff let his lips wander over Matt's skin again as Matt rolled onto his side and searched the gap in the headboard for the lube that Jeff always kept there. When Jeff's lips locked around a nipple already hardened Matt gasped bringing his arm down and luckily the lube with it. Jeff held out his hand as he teeth teased the puckered flesh for Matt to squirt some into his hand. When he started to move the sticky substance over his fingers Matt stopped him begging breathlessly.

"No please. Not tonight. Just do it."

Jeff's eyes searched Matt's trying to decide if he really wanted it or was just trying to please his lover.

"You hate it that way. You only ever do it to humor me. I want us both to enjoy this."

Jeff didn't need the light to see the blush spread over Matt's cheeks knowing his brother as well as he did.

"I used to hate it. I don't know more. Please Jeffy. Not tonight. I will enjoy it and so will you. Please."

Jeff shook his head giggling as his hand slipped over his dripping cock. Somehow the knowledge that his pleasures and Matt's had finally after all these years merged into one had hardened him very quickly.

"Ahh, what will they say now. Matt Hardy the pain freak. I wonder if the world will survive."

Matt opened his mouth to say, "fuck the world… we are all that matters," but just them Jeff shoved himself into Matt and a scream was torn from his lips instead. Patiently Jeff waited rubbing Matt's tummy with a hand as he waited riding that fine line between pain and pleasure. But when Matt nodded he pulled out then immediately plunged back in this time farther than before bringing another beautiful scream from Matt's lips.

Steadily Jeff watched Matt's face for signs of unwillingness but didn't pause this time and instead pushed on pumping in and out until he was buried inside of Matt as far as he could possibly go. It was then that he paused letting Matt catch his breath and giving himself a chance to reassure himself again that this was really want Matt wanted. As if knowing what his brother was doing, Matt grabbed a handful of hair hanging down from his brother's head and possessed his lips in a bruising kiss before letting go with a snarl.

"Will you just Fucking FUCK me please!"

Jeff's eyes narrowed and his lips curved into something that was supposed to be a smile, but instead managed to fill Matt with a delicious feeling of fear instead.

"Who told you that you could speak BITCH?"

Then before Matt could respond Jeff shoved himself into Matt hard earning another scream and a shiver as he set a brutal pace. Jeff's hand lowered so that his hand rested on Matt's hip with his fingers digging into the fragile skin there hard enough to leave what Jeff knew would be a helluva bruise in the aftermath. The other hand rose to bury itself in Matt's hair pulling painfully which was only fitting as one of Matt's hands rose to do the same to Jeff leaving the other to fly up and down over his won swollen dripping cock.

In the end the brothers came in a screaming explosion one finding his painful brutal release just seconds after the other. Still quivering Jeff collapsed down onto Matt letting his head rest on his shoulder as they both heaved searching for air that didn't want to come.

"Since when did Matt Hardy learn to love pain?"

Matt shrugged suddenly finding the bedspread they hadn't had time to pull back extremely fascinating.

"Since my brother left the WWE and showed me what real pain is."

Jeff closed his eyes and tried to stop the tears that suddenly wouldn't stop falling from his eyes.

"Tuesday I am going to Stephanie and telling her that if she doesn't bring back the Hardy Boys I will quit."

Jeff head snapped up and moved from side to side rapidly as Jeff tried to find the words of protect he knew should be coming from his mouth.

"Matt no…"

"Yes, Jeff. I don't want to stand at the top alone. We were supposed to do it together and if we will go somewhere that we can."

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Loving me."