Boy, sometimes it seems to me
That I don't say the things I should, to you, I act like I'm no good You wait for me patiently This house is not a home without you, it takes two hearts to share

Your eyes will always see through me, and bring me to my knees And I will always turn to you, you're everything I need

And thru the good and bad times, you have always been there We hold each other close, you tell me it's alright The nights we fight about it, never dream of givin' up That's the price of love

Look, sometimes it makes us cry Forgive me when I get it wrong, sometimes it's hard to be that strong And oh, I would do anything For you I'd turn the stars around, I'd find a way somehow

This time, you see I built a bridge to you again
Love shines, we'll sweep away the past
We're more than lovers, more than friends

And thru the good and bad times, you have always been there
We hold each other tight, you tell me it's alright
The nights we fight about it, never think of givin' up
That's the price of love

Your eyes will always see through me, and bring me to my knees
And I will always turn to you, you're everything I need

And thru the good and bad times, you have always been there
We hold each other close, you tell me it's alright
And sometimes I can't give enough, that's the price of love

That's the price of love, that's the price of love
That's the price of love...



Ever since you left my life has seemed to have no meaning. I wander through the home we shared randomly touching things remembering the history behind them. That little porcelain panda bear that sits on the buffet table in the living room, you stared at it in the gift shop for hours on the layover. You were upset when I wouldn't get it saying the price was too high for a hunk of clay that ain't even going to make it back home. You insisted that it was cute and would remind you of our trip. You were so mad I don't think you talked to me the entire way home. But when you found it sitting on the pillow that night when we went to bed you were so happy that we didn't leave our bedroom until it was time to leave for the next set of shows.

There's a cowboy hat that sits on the post on the headboard of our bed on your side. You got that the first time I took ya ridin'. You were so shocked when you saw the complete cowboy outfit on the bed. Even though you only rode behind me most of the day you were thrilled… said that it was the best day of your life. You said that it was just one of many best days of your life that we would have. But now…

Now you aren't here. Too many nights spent in separate cities after the roster split. Too many times you needed me and I wasn't there… Too many temptations on my part and one night of too little self control. You would think that after all these years I would have it under control, but I guess I am getting old after all. Either that or your "friends" know my weak point. They know that they are the one thing I have never trusted about us. They know that I can't stand watching their paws all over you, acting like they own you especially that big fuckin' Casanova wannabe Kevin Nash.

He's never accepted that you were mine. June 16th 1993 he walked down that ramp thinking that he could just snap his fingers and own you. Ten years later he's still trying. Every touch, every fuckin' lie spoken through those poisonous lips of his, every thing he's done in the last ten years with exception of chasing after that fuckin' Cuban have been done in the attempt at breaking us apart. He can't accept the fact that finally… you are mine and mine alone.

Oh he had his chance. All those Kliq years where y'all ran the backstage like your private playground… you were his bitch in every sense of the word and we almost didn't make it through that, but… I was smarter than him ya see. I knew that someday that Cuban would be his downfall. Every man has a weakness and for Big Daddy it's that goddamned Cuban playboy. I knew that if I waited long enough that Cuban would cut that one last thread he was hangin' on to with Vince and I was right. One too many wild parties that Vince had to cover up, one too many shows he couldn't perform at cause he was in no "condition" to perform, one too many close calls with his baby daughter. Once you were out of sight I was in the clear…you were mine. Paul… shit… he THOUGHT he could just step into Kevin's shoes and take you, but he learned. The only way he ever got to touch you was under MY WILL.

If it isn't one thing then it's another. Once we got rid of the wannabe I thought that we would be in the clear, but in my battle with Big Diesel I failed to notice your ego. For awhile that DID destroy us. As you climbed that ladder our relationship, which started long before the Heartbreak Kid, became less and less important to you until that fateful night at the top of that cell. All the fights, all the curses, all the belittling came bursting out of me. I didn't even realize what I'd done til I saw you laying broken on the floor and the ruined announcers table.

After that it was years spent with doctors and in hospitals. I swore that we'd find someone to fix you and through it all you just smiled softly. I never understood it. I make you fall from Hell in the Cell and you decide that I am your one and only. God I love you. Every time those blue eyes turn on me I know that I have everything I could ever need. Finally you settled down and after some religious man found you in a hospital you started talkin to the big man upstairs.

That in itself was a rough road to take. Your new beliefs and my old ones didn't exactly mesh, but eventually we found a way. You found your life outside of the ring and we even adopted a baby. Red curls and big blue eyes… you fell in love on sight and named him Gabriel. I was too happy to have you to argue. I thought that our life was finally complete, but then that call came. Vince in his determination finally found the man that said he could fix your back. You've never been happier in your life. You talked for hours about all the things you would do… you could wrestle Flair, Kevin, HHH, RVD, Jeff Hardy and the list went on and on and on, but in all your excitement you didn't notice I didn't quite share your joy.

Like before I had seen the writing on the wall. WCW was crumbling and I knew some how… some way that bottle blonde motherfucker would be back in our lives tearing at us until there wasn't anything left. Months went by. Somehow Kevin managed to get me shipped off to Smackdown… he probably sucked Vince's cock, again. Miracles happened and he wised up and dumped the playboy turning his full attention to you. You insisted I was wrong, but I always know when you lie to me so I knew that when you told me that he wasn't chasin' after you tryin to split us up that you were telling tales again.

One night… one night in… shit almost 15 years I got weak. That little green eyed blonde danced up to me backstage and looked up at me with those eyes filled with concern. "Markie is you ok?" Shannon asked and that was all it took. Gone was the WWE, Kevin Nash, shit even Kevin Nash. All I saw was you back when we first met backstage at that show. I'd had the worst day of my life and you just wanted to make it all better. Shannon…

He makes me feel like I did back then. I didn't even realize what I was doing as I protected him and watched out for him until it was too late. Suddenly my life had gotten more complex than I ever wanted. You… Shannon… in the morning when I woke up with him nestled in my arms I knew that I was in deep shit. How do you break a heart like his? And you… I wasn't even sure that you were mine anymore. Somehow in the bright morning light though everything seemed worse.

I walked in the door still trying to decide what to tell you when the frying pan came sailing at my head. Should have known that Paul's empty headed bitch would rat on me and you had just enough information to work yourself into a rage. It was just like back in the day… only this time I wouldn't take it lying down. I'd had enough. This time your screams were silenced only by the hand raised ready and willing to knock you into your place. Your accusations were stopped with years of crap you'd put me through. Kevin Nash, the Kliq, egos, doctors, always putting US second or third or fourth to whatever else was going on in your life. Ever other man you've ever fucked, every insult you've ever thrown at me, every transgression against morality you've ever committed were all thrown in your face. When I was done you didn't even speak. Pale and shaking, You just turned and left for where I don't know.

I hear our newest son Jonathan wake up and hurry to his room lifting him gently from his crib rocking him til he quiets. Of all the things we've done… of all the battles we've had… somehow none of them seem worth it without you here. Shannon, God I can't lie and say I don't love him cause I do and you know it well since that was brought up more than once in our fight. But in all his charm he ain't you. He can't bring me to the brink of insanity and sooth me by taking me to the heights of passion. Not now and I don't think not ever. He doesn't have your… arrogance born from necessity. But then he don't have to. He doesn't have to fight the battles you did. The road of his career is paved for him by you. All he has to do is want it badly enough.

Softly I walk through the house not wanting to wake Gabriel as it is currently 2 AM and he has your temperament when he is awakened prematurely. Stepping out onto the back porch of our ranch I point out constellations in the sky to my baby boy trying not to think of all the times that you and I have stood in this very spot and done the same thing. Needless to say the hand on my shoulder stared the crap out of me. "Shawn?"

Blue eyes and a lazy smile… everything I have always needed. "Who else would be standing here at 2 AM?" Then you seemed to have remembered Shannon and paused. "Um unless Shannon is here?" I sigh and shake my head no looking back up at the stars. I would like him here… I need him here, but somehow bringing him here to live in our paradise seems to be wrong if you don't want him here. "Shawn, I would never bring Shannon here without your approval. This is our home until you decide you don't want it anymore."

Jonathan picks that moment to want you and after weeks of not having you I can't keep him from your arms. Quietly I stand and watch the two of you thinking there is no more beautiful sight in the world. "Mark if you… if you want to bring Shannon here. Well, I'm ok with it. I am sure that the three of us can work it out. I don't know the kid very well, but I know Shane loves him like a brother and you… well I know you love him like something very UN-brotherlike. That is unless your last name is Hardy or McMahon."

I can't help but chuckle and shake my head looking at you. Never in my life will you cease to amaze me. "What are you saying? Are you coming back?" I watch as you slowly turn your watery eyes to me and see that smile slip a little. "If… if you still want me I am. I can't imagine why you would. I thought about everything you've said and I can't imagine why you would stay with me through all of that. I umm I told Kevin that if he can't keep his hands to himself and understand that I belong to you that we can't be friends. Needless to say he wasn't very happy." When you rub your cheek I for the first time see the bruise there and see red knowing that he put it there. "He dies."

There is no question in my mind whether or not I should take you back and easily I open my arms, happy when you rush into them where you belong. "Why Mark. Why would you forgive me for all that shit? Why?" That question has been asked me more times than I can remember. For the longest time I didn't know how to respond other than to say that I loved you. Then one day I was listenin' to some damn love song Shannon was playing when I said the same damn thing out loud. "You know baby I said the same thing to Shannon the day after you left when we were in our room and ya know what he said?" Your blue eyes look up at me in confusion and smiling I kiss your cheek then rest my chin on the top of your head. "He said 'cause that was just the price of love. Nothing good comes for free and the more you have to struggle the bigger your reward is in the end. If'n we didn't have to go through all that shit we wouldn't have a love as strong as we do. HE said that he knew that I wouldn't ever love him like I love you, and that I was probably just fuckin' him cause he reminded me of you, but that was ok cause someday he could look back and remember that at least once in his life he'd had a glimpse of the love of a lifetime."

I don't have to look down to see you crying. I can feel your tears soaking my chest hair as you nod against my chest. "Ok, I get it now. I see why you love him so much. Oh Mark we can't leave him out. Can't we bring him here and make him part of our family? Please please please?" Long ago I stop trying to understand life's ironies. The man that almost ended us for good turned out to be the man that brought us together forever. The price of love indeed.

The End