Jensen never thought of himself as the type of man who would be caught. He'd always thought he could stay one step ahead of the game. It wasn't that he slept with everything on two legs that crossed his path, but he'd taken home enough of them to make sure he had an air tight reputation. His mask was firmly in place and no one got to see behind it unless Jensen decided to let them in and the number of people that he'd given THAT privilege to was very, very small.

He'd played the games, more than once and with every curve ball, sneaky rule, and variation thrown at him they could think of. Sometimes he came out unscathed, and more often than not he didn't; but, he always declared that he came out on the other side wiser than he'd been when he started. There wasn't anything they could throw at him at this point that he wasn't ready for. There wasn't a sob story that could move him, a poor poor me tale that he'd fall for, nothing that could put a dent into the wall he'd put around himself.

Until Jared.

He'd never say that it was love at first sight. Use some cliché like he'd taken one look and his wall crumbled. It was true their friendship had been almost instantaneous, but he hadn't fallen ass over dick in love the first time he saw that infectious smile and found himself wrapped up in those arms that just always managed to make things ok. Of course at the time all he could think of was that it would be a cryin' shame if he didn't find a way to get into this kid's pants, but that was sex, lust even not love.

Of course that had only been his first thought. Then Jared had to go and be so damn… Jared.

Before he'd known it Jensen had found himself in a whirlwind of Padalecki, but Jensen had handled it. After many hours of denial and several long conversations with himself in the mirror he'd accepted the idea that it was ok that he and Jared were close… friends… brother-like even. After all, that's what they were playing. The producers wanted them to be close so this could only help the show.

He'd tried many times to figure out how Jared had managed to penetrate the Great Wall of Ackles when so many before him had failed. He hadn't pulled any of the normal tricks, tried any of the regular routines, and yet seemingly without any effort Jared had managed to become more important to Jensen than anyone before him ever had.

The notion had bugged Jensen for weeks until it was Steve of all people that had figured it out. When Christian had asked Jen the question that had been getting under his skin for months Jensen had only growled, but before he could comment Steve had spoken up, his fingers never breaking the soft tune they were working out on the guitar in his lap. "That's easy. He didn't try."

At first Jensen had scoffed at the notion, but the more he thought about it he realized that it was the truth. For the first time since Jensen had inched his way into this life of fame and fortune, he'd met someone who hadn't expected anything from him. They'd come into his life with no ulterior motives. Jared simply accepted him. He'd stepped up and without question filled whatever holes he'd found with himself giving without asking for anything in return. Quietly and unassumingly Jared filled Jensen's life with things he'd always wanted and had long since given up on thinking he'd find.

Jared was the other half of his whole. He was the shelter when Jensen found himself in the middle of a storm. He was the clown when Jensen couldn't find a smile. He was the partner in Jensen's scheming. He didn't make demands, he didn't try to force his own opinions on him, he didn't ask for a return when he gave of himself.

And Jensen had let him in without even thinking twice. Apparently that wall wasn't Padalecki fortified.

Only now he'd messed up.

He'd pushed where Jared hadn't, judged when Jared wouldn't have, demanded when Jared never would have dreamed of doing it himself.

The fight had been… probably the single worse thing in Jensen's life.

One moment he'd had not just a best friend, but a person who made him feel like he was the single most important being in the world simply because he existed, and the next thanks to Jensen's own insecurity and thoughtlessness it was all gone. The words, those horrible unforgiving utterances were burned into his brain, blazing away unwilling to be put out as they burned fueled by Jensen's pain and guilt.

"I don't fucking NEED YOU JARED!" He'd yelled. "I'm sick of your bullshit. I'm sick of your game. You're just like everyone else, I just haven't figured out your hook yet. You think you're all cute and smooth coming in here and acting like you're just any guy in America, but you're not. You're worse than them because at least THEY don't pretend! I'm on to you Jared! You can't fuck with me anymore! I DON'T NEED YOU!"

He'd wanted to hurt. He'd wanted to break Jared until he hurt as deeply as Jensen did. He'd wanted to prove that it was all the illusion that he needed it to be.

All that he'd found out was that it was more real than he'd ever imagined.

When Jared had quietly turned and walked out without a single angry word thrown back, Jensen had known immediately he'd fucked up worse than he'd ever done before. He hurt. God it was beyond hurt. He'd thought he was broken before but this… this was broke. This knowledge that he'd had the real thing and he'd shattered it like a spoiled 5 year old after growing tired of their favorite toy. He needed, he craved, and he was pretty sure somewhere inside of him he was bleeding to death slowly from the cracks in his heart.

Too late he'd realized he was in love.

Him

Jensen Ackles

The one that NEVER got caught had gotten wrapped up in bliss and hadn't even known it until he'd thrown it all away because of one girl half his size.

He couldn't function. He barely made it out of bed in the morning. He was glad Dean was somewhat more emotional this season because he was having a real issue with happy. Everything just… sucked the life out of him. He never realized how completely Jared had invaded his life until he was gone. He hadn't seen how far he'd come from that half person he'd been before Jared. He missed the touches and the hugs and the jokes and the way Jared just always… KNEW. He missed Jared and he knew he couldn't go on without him, but didn't hold any belief that he could get him back.

"You really hurt him Jen," Tom had said in that quiet and intense way of his. Those blue eyes of his filled with anger and disappointment. "You know people never really get Jared. They don't ever really stop to look past what he throws at you because frankly he's so damn good at the diversion. Hell he's better at it than you are, and that's probably how you managed to hurt him so bad.

"See Jared believed in you, Jen. He didn't listen to me or Chad or fuck anyone who told him you were bad news. He punched Chad the fuck out when he trashed you once. I bet you didn't know that. He always insisted that people just didn't get you. He said that you were the way you are because so many people had fucked with your head.

"Shit he almost killed your boy Kane awhile back in LA, but I'm sure you don't know that one either. Told Kane he didn't like how he treated you, how he talked about you, how he fucked with your head making you think you were some cheap plaything. How he manipulated you so goddamned easily just because he knew how. Told Kane those days were over and if he ever tried it again he'd answer to him. He suggested to the fucker that he start being the kind of buddy that you deserved. When Chris bitched that Jared had taken what was his, Jay told Chris to grow up. Said that you weren't a pull toy, but suggested that maybe if Kane had been a better friend there wouldn't have been a need for him in your life.

"That kid loves you, man. Completely and hardcore. You're just so damned insistent that he'd got some trick up his sleeve that you can't see what's right in front of you. And you know what's sad Jen?

"I think you're just now realizing what you had. How very cliché, Jenny. Oh, and if you don't realize what you threw away yet? Jared broke up with Sandy. He's been working on it for awhile, trying to let her down easy. Despite what you've done to him he broke up with her anyway. Told her that even if you didn't love him, even if you didn't believe in him that it wasn't fair of him to be with her when you were his entire world.

"I hope you hurt Jen. 'Cause this? What you've done to Jay? You deserve to for that."

Jensen had been in enough pain before, but that… well that had driven him home and under covers that two weeks later he had yet to come out from. Tom was right. He'd had it all. "Jay." Jensen curled his body even tighter into a ball and sobbed tears he didn't think he had any energy left for anymore.

Dully Jensen laid in his bed wearing the same clothes he'd had on for a week, his chin gone from stubbled to bearded. Time was meaningless. His phones had stopped ringing days before. No one knocked anymore and his home was deathly quiet as if it knew it was only a matter of time before he ceased to exist.

And yet…

Poking out his head from under the thick down comforter he listened until he heard the noise again. The sound was distinctive. Jared never failed to give him crap that with all the money he made he couldn't buy a better coffee maker because the one he had sounded like it was about 10 years beyond its last breath.

Frowning Jensen laid there until the smell of freshly brewed coffee became unmistakable forcing him out from his safe haven. Slowly he padded down the hallway ignoring the demands of his bladder which wanted attention now that he was upright, and made his way to the kitchen when there was indeed freshly brewed coffee dripping out of his machine. From the smell he knew immediately it was his favorite- hard to find and only available at a specialty coffee store in Dallas.

On the counter were bags from his absolute favorite breakfast place, but before he could investigate his world tilted even further sending him crashing into a reality he wasn't sure he was ready for.

"Oh good you're up. You have to shower and change before we eat, 'cause umm… no offense man but… you smell Jen."

Turning Jensen felt his jaw drop, but didn't have the mental resources to stop it as he took in the sight of Jared before him looking tranquil and sincere despite the black eye he wasn't even trying to hide and the busted knuckles on the hands clenching his best china. "Seriously Jen, go. I got stuff to do before I'm ready for you here. When you get back we can eat."

Stepping around him Jared set the plates on the table before pouring Jensen a cup of the brew then sending him gently out of the room. "I'll be here Jen. Just go ok?"

Jensen had never showered so quickly in his life.

Normally shower time was something he lingered through, taking the time to think and go over the events in his life at that particular moment. At that point however all Jensen wanted was to be back in the kitchen before Jared remembered that they weren't speaking any longer because this… this couldn't be real. There was just no way he would be getting another chance at this. Absolutely none.

And yet, as he rushed back into the kitchen wide eyed and trembling there he was standing at the table putting food out and taking up more space than Jensen's tiny eating area had room to give up. "Jay," he hadn't realized that he'd said his friend's name until he turned and smiled at him as if nothing ill had passed between them.

That's when the dam broke.

Jensen found himself saying more real words as opposed to his normal self scripted bullshit than he probably had in his life… ever… to anyone… or hell for that matter to any number of people put together, but he refused to think about it. All he knew was that there was Jared, big and strong and understanding in his kitchen giving Jensen the second chance he KNEW he didn't deserve and was getting anyway, the chance that Jensen was dying without.

He didn't know who had moved, but didn't care because before he knew it he was wrapped back up in those arms, with Jared's big hands moving over his back. His head tucked under Jared's chin and Jared's lips pressing against the back of his head as Jensen sobbed and begged and pleaded for forgiveness and a second chance and things that he had no right to ask for but was anyway.

And in typical Jared fashion he was forgiven.

Just like that.

The food was eaten, presents he hadn't seen before unwrapped and appreciated. Somehow Jared had gotten him everything he really, really wanted. Jensen hadn't even realized it was his birthday until Jared had handed him the first neatly wrapped package, but for Jensen his presence was present enough. Later when all that was done and the kitchen cleaned up again Jensen found himself on his couch curled up in Jared's arms feeling safer than he ever thought he would feel again.

He found out that the broken knuckles were from Tom's face. Apparently Jared hadn't been happy about some of the things their friend had said. The black eye was from Mike, who of course had taken exception to Jared's no so delicate treatment of his boyfriend's face. Jensen couldn't help but laugh and shake his head when he found out that Mike was sporting a nice shiny black eye of his own thanks to Chris, Jared's new buddy.

"Apparently if you beat up a redneck he respects you," Jared had said shaking his head from side to side in confusion and Jensen had laughed at that too. He would have explained, but he didn't quite understand himself.

Eventually Jared told him that all wasn't quite so easily forgotten even if it had been forgiven and they would (as in the next day) have to talk about the things Jensen had said promising that Jensen was going to have to work a little before Jared would be able to trust him again. He assured him that if their friendship was never again the way it was before that was ok, because obviously there had been room for improving and maybe this time they would get it right although if they didn't that was ok because they could always try again.

Jensen was ok with all that though. He was more than happy to do whatever it took to make up for what he'd done. He knew now what he had. Knew that this was better than anything he'd ever had or would ever have again, and was willing to do whatever it took to keep it. He had Jared. His strong, loving, hyper, intelligent Jared with a heart bigger than the state of Texas itself; who had effortlessly stepped over the Great Wall of Ackles and lifted Jensen before carrying him back over it freeing him from himself.

And Jensen had no intention of ever letting Jared take him back.

The End!