God I miss him... my boy. From the first time I saw him I knew that he was special. I knew that he was better than all of the rest of the Kliq put together. And I knew that someday I would lose him because of it. You can't get to the top without an ego to match. I should know... mine has always been out of control. But what they never understood was that if I didn't believe in myself no one else was going to... until Hunter. He always supported me... always believed in me... that is until my body quit on me... until he realized how good he was... until he realized that he IS just that damn good.

I was a fool. I know what it is like when you are on top. Everyone wants a piece of you. Everyone wants to fuck you... men and women. Everyone wants to call you their friend. Everyone wants to push you off. But you don't believe that can ever happen, because you have convinced yourself that YOU ARE INVINSIBLE! Only it doesn't work that way.

No one says up there forever. There will always be someone younger, hungrier, and healthier behind you. Anyone who condemns what I did when I was up there has never been there. 'Cause when you are there it doesn't matter who you are... everyone acts the same. It is only human nature... take advantage of what you've got while you've got it. Fuck everyone you can... and I mean that anyway you wanna take it.

They say I was selfish. I held people back. I thought only about myself. I had a huge ego and a bad attitude. But we all act the same at the top. I did it. Kevin did it. Austin did it. Hell Hunter is doing it now... or was 'til life tapped him on the shoulder... "Reality check, baby... are you listening?" I didn't. No one ever does... at least not that we'd admit. What you don't understand until you're there is that by doing what we do we are in a twisted way helping to ensure the survival of the business. The man who pushes you off will be the strongest, the hungriest, and the one who wants it the most. He will be the best there is... period. The ones that complain and say we should just move out of the way don't want it bad enough. It takes a strong man to stand on top and it takes an even stronger man to push you off.

I just never imagined that man would be my baby... my Hunter... my life. I gave him everything and he almost single-handedly took it away. He took my spot and left me with nothing... not even himself. I think that is what hurts the most. I never imagined that when I lost it all… that I would lose him too. Never, not even when I realized it was all slipping out of my grasp did I think I would lose him. We were supposed to be different. We were suppose to be special... what arrogance. We weren't any different than any other couple. There is only one exception to every rule... and we weren't it. Kevin and Scott had already taken that one for themselves.

But, damn did it have to end so soon? The timing just sucks. He needed me around now... 'Cause this injury is his test. This will tell whether he is a legend or a flash in the pan. Injuries are a funny thing. They can take you from the very top to the very bottom. Or they can push you beyond everyone else... into that status of legends.

He'll be out long enough. The fans will have time to find someone new to cheer, to worship, to look up to. This is his test. If he can come back and regain his spot then no matter what he will always have a place in that special club reserved for only the greats... I am there. Kevin is there and Scotty too. Hogan, Flair, Piper, and Savage are all there. There is no doubt I my mind Hunter will be there too.

He hasn't realized yet that no one stays on top forever. He still thinks he is invincible and that he doesn't need anybody. God I miss him. I miss his arms... strong enough to carry me whenever I needed him. I miss that sweet side that no one but me got to see... the one you'd never expect someone like him to have. I miss seeing him laugh. He doesn't do that anymore... I can tell. It's amazing how clouded your head is up there. You think you have it all, but you're really missing all the important things. I envy the ones in the middle who are happy where they are. They are really the lucky ones.

I know what he's going through... my boy... my love. He's sitting there in pain feeling sorry for himself. I should be there. I should be there supporting him and loving him and encouraging him like he always did for me... but I can't. He made sure of that. Hunter really is that damn good. I have nothing left to help him with. My power is all gone... taken by him. My pride has disappeared. What do I have to be proud of anyway?

I treated my friends like shit. I hurt the one I loved. I have a body that is good for nothing and a house I sit in alone. The people that used to tell me I was the greatest of all time now tell me I am less than nothing. Useless to even speak on their televisions. I let arrogance destroy my life. I let my pride take my lover. He was only doing what he had to do. I knew it... after all I had done it myself... just ask Bret Hart. I knew what was happening and all I did was let it happen, but then I didn't really have a choice... did I? I had my part in the game to play and damned it I wasn't going to play it well.

I miss you, baby.

I love you, baby.

And damned if I don't still need you, baby.

There has to be a way to get us back. There has to be a way to get thru this.

Maybe I'll call Kevin and Scott and get their thoughts. God only knows it can't hurt. It's lonely at the bottom.

"I'm comin', Hunter, don't give up on us yet!"

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