Chris strolled into the locker room with a towel around his waist fresh from the shower. He had all the ease and confidence of someone very pleased with himself. He didn't care that he'd been instructed to win his match by using a chair. He didn't care that his story lines made him look like a fool. He never did. He may have to go out in front of the fans next week and act like a hurt, whining, little bitch, but everyone in the locker room knew the truth. Nothing and nobody touched Chris Jericho. The man was just…untouchable.

He never complained about his story lines, he never complained about number one contender spots, he never complained about taking a loss or dropping a belt. He never complained about anything. It seemed like he never had a bad day.

Well, there was a time not too long ago, two months maybe, when he was having quite a few bad days. No one really knew what was going on, but Chris had been very touchable and lots of guys in the locker room had taken that opportunity to get under his skin just because they knew they finally could. He'd never fought back, he just took the jabs and taunts and the hurt they caused with his head hung never muttering a word.

But he was back to his old self now, if not more confident than ever, and he had been for a while.

He opened his locker and blinked in confusion at the full-length mirror that had manifested itself inside. It hadn't been there when he'd changed for his match. He studied it for a moment and then suddenly smiled.

"Thanks J!"

"You're welcome Blondie! Thought you'd wanna stare at your sexy ass body after you were all wet from your shower," Jason Reso, a.k.a Christian, answered from somewhere in the locker room among the sea of wrestlers. "Everyone else does!"

Chris rolled his eyes playfully when quite a few guys started to whistle and make noises of approval at the last of what Jason had said.

"Hell yeah we do," John Cena whispered seductively into Chris' ear from behind and smiled slightly when he felt the blonde shiver. "When can I do more than just look?"

Chris let a coy smile touch his lips as he turned and trailed a hand over John's well-chiseled stomach. John leaned back against a locker and watched Chris' hand move down his body with a heated look in his eyes. They had an ongoing flirtation that was really more fun than anything. Not that the attraction wasn't there, they were just frozen in the playful stage.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were supposed to be in Cleveland for a show."

"I was, but Paul thought it would be a good idea to take the night off to keep the fans in suspense or some shit. So, I decided to fly out here and watch you perform. You were great tonight."

"Really?"

"You know you always are, babe," John said with a light smile. "I don't know about this whole Trish thing though," he said teasingly. "Her acting is a little too real."

"There's nothing there I swear. At least not on my part," Chris said with a low laugh. "She's a cool girl though."

"I'll bet," John said sarcastically.

"Jealous, C?"

"Very… C," John added after a short hesitation. They'd decided that they were both going to call each other C because calling someone else J besides Jason was just too confusing. Plus it was their own little thing so it was cool. People had taken to calling them the CCs whenever they were together.

Chris smiled softly. "Are you staying around for a while?"

"I can't, I have to get out of here in the next ten minutes if I'm gonna make it to the airport in time. I just wanted to congratulate you and make sure you knew I was here. Lord knows you would've bitched me out on the phone if you found out I was here and didn't come and say anything to you."

"But I didn't get to see you at all," Chris said with a slight pout. "If I knew you were back here I would've let Rob win the match and I would've been back here a lot sooner. Why didn't you tell me you were flying in?"

"I wanted to surprise you," John said tugging gently at a loch of blonde hair that fell across Chris' bare shoulder. "I have to go now. I think our schedules cross again in a few weeks though. We can chill then."

"Mmm is that what we're calling it these days," Chris teased with a light half-smile and a suggestive look.

"We can call it whatever you want to as long as it gets done," John told him with a bedroom look of his own. He pushed off of the locker and gave Chris a kiss on the cheek that was too erotic to be called simple before he walked off.

Chris watched him walk away and had to shake himself from watching the slight sway of his hips as he did. John was very hot. But not nearly as hot as the annoyed stare that was aimed at his back. Chris knew exactly who was staring at him and it made him smile in amusement.

"Hey, Randall, how ya doin'," he greeted with a sickeningly sweet smile as he turned around to meet the tanned Adonis face to face. Randy was, to him and ninety-five percent of the free world, sex on legs. He was unarguably one of the sexiest men in the business.

"Whatever. I've been standing here watching you and you're boyfriend for the last three minutes. Could you keep that shit out of the way of my locker next time? I need to get dressed."

"He's not my boyfriend," Chris said with a smile. "We're friends."

"I don't care if you're sisters, keep that shit out from in front of my locker," Randy said opening his locker and pulling out his gym bag.

"You could've asked us to move. The fact that you stood and watched means that you wanted to see. If you wanna watch I could ask him. I'm sure we could set something up, he might be into the whole audience thing. I could probably sell him on the idea if you agree to join in a little bit here and there. Maybe let us break out the video camera."

He threw Chris a 'fuck-off' look. "No thanks."

"Lighten up, Randall," Chris said patting him on the shoulder and watching him cringe at his full name. "I'm only kidding. You don't seem like the sharing type anyway." He leaned in closer so that his stomach was pressed against the side of Randy's body. "I'll make a mental note to keep the PDA to a minimum in front of your locker though, okay?"

"You can make a mental note to stay out of my personal space too," Randy said with a halfhearted attempt to shake Chris off of him.

"Why don't you admit that you're not as hard as you try to be? Nevermind, I guess you are pretty hard aren't you," Chris asked with an amused smile as he looked down at the very impressive bulge in Randy's trunks.

Randy's lips quirked up into a small smile. "Guess so."

"What's got you all hot and bothered?"

"The match. The adrenaline always gets me hard," he said nonchalantly and began pulling clothes out of the bag.

"Aw," Chris said with a slight pout, "and here I was hoping it was me turning you on."

Randy straightened up and advanced on Chris. Chris backed up instinctively until his back came in contact with a locker. Something told him that there was no real need to be on the defensive as Randy bracketed him in with his forearms, so he just looked on in interest.

"Chris, you turn me on and you know it."

"No," Chris said genuinely surprised, "I really didn't know. I thought you couldn't stand me half the time."

"You irritate the hell out of me sometimes, but you still turn me on."

"So that hard-on is for me?"

Randy leaned in so that his lips grazed Chris' ear. He didn't speak for a moment letting his breath fan the tender skin of Chris' earlobe before his tongue came out to flick at it momentarily. He felt Chris exhale shakily and he felt him grow against his thigh.

"This hard-on," he breathed pressing himself against Chris and hearing the blonde moan softly.

"Yeah," Chris prompted in a sex coated voice as his hands skimmed across Randy's sides.

"Is for the match," Randy finished moving away from Chris languidly. Chris pouted almost instantly and reached out to pull him back, but Randy evaded his reaching hands. "Who is that hard-on for?"

"Don't be an asshole, Randy, come here."

"Sorry, I gotta get out of here. Later, Jerky," he said with an amused smile.

"Later," Chris said with a small pout, but an amused smile also.



***

It had been a good night. The fans were explosive, he'd won his match, and his match at the next pay-per-view had been announced with great results. He sat back on his hotel room bed and tried to calm the blood running through his veins. He was still wired from performing. He was about to turn on the TV when a soft knock came from the adjourning room.

He wondered who it was. He'd forgotten to check who had that room earlier. He opened the connecting door and couldn't help but raise an eyebrow slightly at the half naked man in front of him. The same man he'd been thinking about, even more so than usual, for the last three weeks since their scene in the locker room.

"Surprise," the blonde said with exaggerated excitement.

Randy just walked back into his room in silent invitation for Chris to come in. Chris followed without hesitation and closed the door behind him.

Randy lay back on his bed and watched as Chris stood in the center of the room looking around. He finally sat down in the empty space next to Randy pulling his legs into a cross-legged position.

"Your room is a lot neater than mine. I have stuff everywhere."

"That's because you're a slob," Randy said with a smile.

"Probably, but I had to find my pajama pants. They're my favorite."

"They look pretty worn," Randy said pulling at the faded material of the blue cotton pajamas.

"I wear them a lot."

"So what's so important that you had to come over here half naked?"

"I know you're not talking," Chris said flicking one of Randy's nipples.

"Ow!"

"Suck it up," Chris said with a smile. "If the fans could see how big of a baby you were they'd never stop booing you."

"I bet they'd start cheering. They could finally see the soft, non-conniving, side of me. They'd eat it up."

Chris nodded slightly in agreement.

"You still haven't told me why you're here."

"Well throw me out why don't ya?"

"No, you can stay, I just wanna know what you want."

"I don't know, I was bored and I didn't wanna be alone."

"John's here right? I'm sure he can keep you company," Randy said with a teasing smile.

Chris rolled his eyes amusedly and let a smile touch his lips. "Whatever. He left about half an hour ago to catch up with the rest of the Smackdown guys at their hotel. Me and him are just friends anyway. We flirt, but there's nothing there, not really."

"Couldn't tell by the way you two hang off each other. You practically live in his lap."

"So you've noticed?"

"Who hasn't? Everyone was staring at you two and eating their hearts out downstairs at the bar."

"No, I don't care about anybody else, you've noticed. You've noticed and you mentioned it, which means it's pretty important to you."

"I wouldn't go as far as to say important."

"Important enough to bring up more than once now."

"So let's say it is important to me. Why do you care if I care?"

"Because."

"Because…?"

"Because it makes me happy that you notice," Chris said picking at his pants.

"Why," Randy asked again quietly.

"Because…because I want you to notice me and I want you to care about what I do," Chris said in a very soft voice.

This was the first time in almost three months that Randy had seen Chris so timid. It was kind of weird, but it also made him feel sort of privileged to see this side of Chris. The walls of Jericho all broken down so to speak.

"Why me?"

"Because it's you, The Legend Killer," Chris said with a teasing smile. "Everybody in the locker room can see the things you've been doing, dude. People are seeing more than just you're wrestling career too if you know what I mean," he ended with a wink.

"Nobody in the locker room sees me like that."

"The hell, Randy. You don't see it because you're you. You don't really take notice of it, and that's what makes people try so hard. The guys fall all over themselves to say or do something that'll catch your attention, or impress you one way or the other."

"You don't."

"Not really, but that's not me. I want you to notice me, but I won't go to great lengths to make it happen. If you do, you do and if you don't, you don't."

"I do notice you, Chris. And you know I'm not alone. What I love about you is the way you act like you don't see all the guys watching you or the way you play like you don't know when someone's flirting with you. Two-thirds of the guys in the business want you."

"And you're one of them," Chris stated. Something in his tone struck something inside of Randy, something that wasn't sitting too well.

"Yeah I am, how could I not be? That's not the only reason I notice you though. I notice you because you're a good athlete, and you have an amazing career, and you're smart, and you don't let other people touch you. The last one's what really draws me."

"Why?"

"Because as much as I want to believe that you're just the kind of person to let stuff roll right off of you and you're always confident no matter what, I know it's not all natural. You had to make yourself that way for some reason. It's a front. I just wonder what would make someone like you build up so many walls."

"You see all of that?"

"We'll just say I'm perceptive."

"And sexy."

"And sexy," Randy agreed with a smile. He could tell that Chris wasn't going to open up to him about his emotional state, so he moved on. "How're your ribs?"

"All better," Chris laughed patting his bare abs. "No tape for the first time in two weeks."

"Seems like it was a lot longer than two weeks."

"I know right? I'm glad they've finally healed up. Again. Hopefully no one will feel the urge to fuck with 'em for a while. I hate it when they're bruised. I couldn't do anything, I couldn't even laugh too hard without wanting to cry."

"So I assume you hadn't been doing anything, uhm, extra then," Randy asked with a slight smile.

"Please, it had nothing to do with my ribs. I haven't had sex in almost three months."

Randy actually jumped in surprise.

"Shocking ain't it," Chris said with a huge smile. "That's the reaction I normally get."

"It has to be a by choice type thing because you have plenty of volunteers and it's not like you couldn't get it from pretty much anybody you wanted."

"It is by choice but I'm not, like, abstinent or anything. I just don't feel like sleeping with someone because they offer or because they're there."

"You want a relationship?"

"Not even necessarily a relationship. It would be nice but it's not what I'm waiting for. I wanna have some kind of feelings towards the person. At least lust or some kind of attraction. Half the guys that are all over me don't even turn me on."

"What about John?"

"John," Chris echoed with a light smile. "John's hot as hell, but that's all. He's just a really cool person and we're best friends. Like, we hang out for hours at a time and just laugh our asses off together."

"You've never had sex at all?"

"If phone sex counts, then yeah. The most physical we ever get is when we rub on each other, or when we end up at the same hotel for a night he'll come to my room and we'll roll around a little and make-out almost all night. It stops there though. We're more into flirting with each other and turning each other on than we are into actually doing anything really sexual. If we ever tried, it wouldn't work and we both know it. We'd probably get to the bed before we thought about it and stopped."

"Jason?"

"Me and J were together last year for about six months. The sex was good, but it was everything else that wasn't working out so we decided to go back to being friends instead of dragging it out until we ended up hating each other. We promised never to have sex again."

"Shawn?"

"If you ever have a few extra hours I can tell you some pretty hot stories about the two of us. But much to my dismay, he's all Hunter these days," Chris said with a dramatic sigh.

Randy laughed at that. "Hunter's not all Shawn though. What about him?"

Chris sort of froze for a second. He took a breath and let it out. "A while ago I would've said yeah without hesitation, but not anymore."

"You two had a thing?"

"Almost. He knew how I felt, and he said we could have something good. But we couldn't. You're around him a lot more than I am now; you know more than anyone how driven he is. There isn't room for anything else in his life beside himself and that damn belt. When I got the Undisputed Title, it all fell apart. He purposely hurt me to get it. It was like he didn't care about me at all. I wasn't anything to him, but an opponent. He made it clear that night that anything we might've had was over. Sledgehammer shots are pretty fucking final."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not, I'm glad I saw it before it was too late. Now my forehead and ribs were pretty sorry after that pay-per-view though," Chris said with a slight chuckle.

"I've had a couple sledge shots myself, I know what you mean."

"Oh yeah, I forgot who I was talking to for a second. You've been through some pretty painful shit for someone who hasn't been in the business that long."

"I guess I was built up pretty fast."

"Better fast than slow."

"Not always. Slow can be good too," Randy said slowly with a half smile that made Chris shift a little. "So come on, tell me. Who would you break your abstinence for?"

"I'm not abstinent," Chris reminded, "and if it had to be anybody in the whole locker room, it would be...Amy."

"Bullshit," Randy said instantly.

Chris laughed. "You never know man, I could be into chicks too. She looks good in those pants with her thong showing. I like the banger-type thing she has going on too. Reminds me a lot of Jeff."

"Let's be for real, her reminding you of Jeff would be the only reason you'd be into her."

"You're right, me and Jeff had some good times a few years back," Chris said with a wistful smile that turned a little sad. "That was back before he started cutting himself and shit."

"I heard about that, I'm really sorry. I didn't know him well enough to see him at the hospital, but I sent him some stuff. He always seemed so happy to me. I never would've thought he'd been doing that to himself."

"Yeah you and everybody else too. Little idiot called me the other day," Chris said with a brighter smile. "Said he might be coming back soon."

"That's good," Randy said with a nod, happy to see Chris smiling again.

"Mmhm, but we got off track here. I think you'd asked me a question."

"I did. Who would it be?"

"Out of anybody, it would be you."

"Me?"

"Yeah you. It's obvious. If I don't even acknowledge all the other guys flirting with me besides John and a few choice others, do you think I would let you not only lick my ear, but grind on me while pressing me up against a locker too? And then beg you to keep going on top of that? I know you don't take notice of much, but damn I know you can see that."

Randy smiled slowly at Chris' words. "So you want me, and I want you, and you're here in my room, on my bed, and we're both half naked. Are the pieces coming together for you too, 'cause I'm getting some clear pictures."

"And what picture are those," Chris asked unfolding his legs and stretching out next to Randy. He propped himself up on his elbow as Randy rolled onto his back and looked up at him.

"You underneath me with you're hair spread all over the pillows moaning and calling out while I push inside of you over and over again. Me slowly jacking you off and kissing your neck and your lips while I move in and out of you. You moaning my name when you cum for the first time in two months."

Chris' hand had found Randy's nipple and he'd began to play with the small bud as they both got turned on by Randy's description. Now the small bundle of nerve endings was as hard as a pebble and Chris couldn't resist.

"I like those pictures," Chris murmured as he shifted onto Randy and nudged his legs apart slipping into the space between them. He moved down the bed until his head was level with Randy's chest. "Let's start painting them."

Randy smiled in pleasure when Chris took a nipple into his mouth and began to suck happily. He let the silky blonde strands of hair slide through his fingers as Chris switched from gentle sucks to slight nibbles and back again. It amazed him how much he was responding to the nipple play. He'd never really gotten into it before, deciding that he could take it or leave it. He was seriously reevaluating his position on that seeing as how he was hard enough to cut glass at the moment.

"Come here," he murmured pulling slightly at Chris' hair to urge him upward.

Chris met his gaze and moved up his body slowly. When they were level with each other he waited patiently for whatever Randy had wanted. He didn't have to wait very long.

Randy leaned up and captured his lips in a hard, feverish kiss that had his head spinning in seconds. He felt his temperature rising higher with each sweep of tongue passed between them.

Randy felt how quickly Chris was getting turned on, and he himself was getting pretty hot. He decided that things were moving a little too fast, at least for the moment, so he slowed things down a bit. He slowed the kiss until it was a mere touch of lips and an occasional graze of tongue. He liked the way it felt, and if the tiny moans leaving Chris' mouth were any indication, he did too.

Chris rolled them suddenly, needing to feel Randy's weight pressing him into the mattress. He loved the feel of someone else over him. It felt comforting, unless they were too heavy and squashed him. Randy was the perfect weight. Not heavy enough to hurt him, but heavy enough to be felt on top of him. He sighed into their still ongoing kiss.

Randy pulled away after a time with a nibble at Chris' bottom lip. "You're a good kisser."

"It's all I've been doing for the last three months," Chris chuckled breathlessly. "Plus, it's easy when you have a good partner."

"Thank you," Randy said kissing the tip of his nose.

"You're welcome," Chris said with a contented smile.

"You look happy."

"I am," Chris sighed closing his eyes and reveling in the satisfaction he felt.

"Happy enough to stop," Randy asked with a serious look.

"What do you mean," Chris asked opening his eyes and frowning slightly.

"I mean I know you haven't been doing anything lately. If you're happy just making out and playing around then we can do that. We don't have to do anything else if you're cool with this."

Randy saw something flicker in Chris' eyes for a second and then it was gone. Before he could ask what it was, Chris smiled and snaked his arms around Randy's neck.

"You're so sweet, you know that? I'm fine with going all the way. In fact, if you stop now, I'll most likely kill you."

"Is that a threat," Randy asked with a smile.

"A promise," Chris assured with mock seriousness.

"Well I guess I better get to work huh?"

Chris didn't have time to answer before Randy was nipping at his neck. He watched as Randy kissed down his body stopping to suck and lick here and there. When Randy reached his belly button he stopped and looked up Chris' body to meet his eyes. It could've easily been the hottest thing Chris had ever seen.

"You're beautiful you know that?"

"I'll bet you've said that to all the guys you've slept with," Chris teased.

Randy snorted at that. "Yeah, all two of them."

"You know what you're doing for someone who's only had two guys," Chris said a bit skeptically.

"Serious relationships. Sort of," he added as an afterthought.

"Ah," Chris said in understanding before he inhaled sharply at the way Randy dipped his tongue into his belly button.

There wasn't much talking after that unless "Yeah," "Oh," "More," and "Harder," constitute talking.

***

Chris opened his eyes and looked around the dark hotel room and spotted the red numbers on the digital clock that read four twenty-three. He wondered why he felt so weird, like he was in the wrong place. He shifted and remembered. The pleasantly sore feeling in his ass reminded him of the fun-filled night he'd just had with Randy. It may have been because of the long break he'd had, but he never remembered anyone being that good. Sex with Randy was truly an experience and he knew that, had he not been in the physical shape he was in, he wouldn't have been able to take what the younger man had given him.

'Thank God for the gym,' he thought happily.

He started to move to the edge of the bed slowly so he wouldn't wake up Randy. He was almost there when he was grabbed around the waist and dragged gently into the center of the bed until his back was pressed against a hard, warm body.

"Where are you going," Randy asked sleepily.

"I was going to my room. I didn't know if you wanted me to stay or not."

"Do you wanna go," Randy asked in a murmur.

"If you want me to," Chris evaded.

"Do you wanna go," Randy asked again in the same tone.

"No, I wanna stay with you," Chris said quietly and held his breath.

"Then go to sleep," Randy said rubbing his stomach softly. "I like you right here."

"Okay," Chris said with a bursting smile.

"Goodnight, baby."

"'Night, Jerky," Chris said and chuckled when Randy pinched him lightly on his stomach. "Well we can't both say baby. You'll get a nick-name later."

"You're retarded."

"I know."

***

"Wake up," Chris whispered stroking Randy's nose lightly. He smiled lightly when the younger man wrinkled his nose a little and peeled his eyes open. "Good morning, Sunshine."

"That better not be my nickname," Randy said smiling at him softly. They were almost nose-to-nose and practically swapping breath.

"No, I think I'm just gonna call you baby too. Nothing else fits right."

"How long have you been thinking about it?"

"Since I got up."

"And that's been…?"

"About ten minutes or so. If I come across another name I'll just say it."

"What are we doing, Chris," Randy asked in a whisper.

"What do you want us to do," Chris asked softly in return.

"No, I wanna know what you want, I don't want you to make the decision based on what you think I want. I'm cool with whatever we're gonna do, it's just up to you to say what it is."

"I guess-I guess I wanna see you like this…often ya know? Um, I wanna know that, after we do a show that we're gonna be doing something together. Stuff like that."

"Why don't you just say you wanna be with me? You know I'm gonna say okay."

"I don't know. You make me feel all nervous and shit."

Randy smiled at that. "I wish I could say I'm sorry about that but, really, I'm not."

"You're fucking arrogant you know that," Chris asked pecking him on the nose.

"I know I am and so are you."

"I like to think of it as confident."

"Whatever you wanna call it."

"We have about an hour before wake-up call. Wanna have a repeat of last night?"

"Do I," Randy whispered before joining their lips.

The two were so involved in their kiss that they didn't hear the door open and close or the footsteps leading further into the room. They did freeze when they heard Hunter's voice start, only to stop again after a few words.

Hunter stood a few feet away from the bed staring in shock at the two men wrapped around each other. He knew he must look like an idiot, but he couldn't help it. He couldn't move let alone speak.

After an uncomfortably silent moment passed, Randy cleared his throat.

"Did you want something, Hunt?"

"Uh," Hunter said as if shaking himself from a stupor and flicking his eyes to Chris for a second before focusing on Randy, "yeah I came to tell you that Eric has a new storyline planned out for Evolution. He says for all of us to meet with him after the show tonight. He said he wants to see you too Chris," he said looking at Chris directly now. "I didn't think I'd find you here but, hey, two birds with one stone huh," he asked with a smile that didn't quite meet his eyes. "See you guys at breakfast."

"He's jealous," Randy stated when they heard the door close.

"He'll get over it," Chris said rolling his eyes. "Hunter's just a big kid. He doesn't want a toy until he sees someone else playing with it."

"Well I never learned how to share."

"You won't ever have to," Chris told him seriously.

"I know, baby," Randy assured him with a soft kiss.

***

Randy walked into the hotel restaurant and joined the other wrestlers at breakfast. He took a seat among Shawn, Rob, and Jason and smiled when he noticed that there was still an empty seat at the table right next to him.

"Hey Randy," Jason greeted with a smile and the other two did the same.

"Hey," Randy smiled back. "You guys order already?"

"No, we were waiting for Chris," Jason said with a slight frown. "Have you seen him? I can't believe he's late, he's normally up an hour early."

Before Randy could answer Shawn piped in. "Come on, J, you know John's in town."

"That's right," Rob said with a smile. "And the Smackdown flight leaves a few hours after ours too. They're most likely still up there."

"Smackdown's staying at a different hotel," Jason said.

"So what? We all saw John go up with Chris last night after they left the bar," Shawn reminded. "Lucky bastard."

Jason and Rob murmured their agreement.

Randy was trying to hold in his smile while the other three gossiped like old ladies. He knew damn well why Chris wasn't down yet. He was recovering. After Hunter left, the two picked up where they'd left off and had another round of amazing sex. Then, in the interest of actually getting ready, they decided to take separate showers. Randy had gone first and had gotten dressed by the time Chris was done with his shower. Chris had stepped out of the bathroom dripping wet and Randy just couldn't resist. He nearly threw the blonde on the bed and gave him the best head of his life. After that he left Chris panting on the bed and went to join the rest of the guys at breakfast.

"Why do you think Chris isn't down here yet, Randy," Rob asked.

"What," Randy asked trying to focus on what was being said instead of what he and Chris had just done.

"I said why do you think Chris isn't here? Do you think he's with John?"

"Oh shit, you would know," Jason said suddenly. "You got the room connected to Chris' room. Did you hear anything?"

Randy was about to answer when he saw John walking through the restaurant. "Why don't you ask John?"

The three men looked up at the same time to see John talking to Booker. When he looked up Shawn waved him over.

"What's up," John greeted as he approached the table. "Have you guys seen Chris? I came to chill with him before ya'll had to leave for the airport."

"Don't play innocent with us, Cena, we know," Rob said with a sly smile.

"Know what," John said with a confused smile.

"What you did to Chris last night," Shawn said. "He never sleeps in this late. You broke him."

"I didn't brake him," John said holding up his hands in defense. He looked towards the entrance when Chris walked in. He took in the walk and the small satisfied smile on his friends face and chuckled a little. "Somebody did though."

Rob, Shawn, and Jason watched curiously as Chris practically floated towards the table. Randy couldn't help but feel a bit smug.

Chris' smile brightened a bit when he saw John. He knew John could tell and it made him want to giggle like a teenage girl. He stopped in front of his best friend and they shared a look. John quirked an eyebrow slightly and Chris nodded happily. When John cocked his head to the side in another silent question, Chris couldn't help the huge smile that split his face. John smiled slowly an turned to look at Randy who looked away in mock innocence. John turned back to Chris and the two of them laughed happily.

"It's for real and everything?"

"Yep," Chris said giddily.

"Good for you," John said genuinely happy for his best friend. "I came to chill with you before you guys left, but I'll catch you later."

"You sure? You don't have to leave."

"No, it's cool. We're gonna talk later though. I wanna know everything. Well, not everything, but all the cute before and after stuff."

"Okay," Chris promised and the two shared a quick hug before John began to walk out of the restaurant, turning over his shoulder once to shoot Randy a brief smile.

"What the hell was that," Shawn asked as Chris sat down in the chair next to Randy.

"You know how they are," Jason said dismissively.

"We still don't know who it was," Rob reminded. "We want answers Jericho. Who was it? Which lucky son-of-a-bitch got you?"

"Guys, guys, my personal life is not that interesting. There's thousands of other things we could be talking about," Chris teased.

"Fuck that, who was it," Shawn demanded with a smile.

"Gossip whores, I swear," Chris said with a laugh. "All three of you guys have taken the RKO right?"

"What," Jason, Rob, and Shawn all asked in unison. Randy knew where he was going with this and couldn't hold in his smile anymore.

"You've all taken the RKO right?"

"Yeah we have, so what," Jason asked in confusion.

Chris chuckled and leaned over so that his head was resting on Randy's shoulder as Randy trailed his fingers through Chris' hair. "Ya'll haven't taken it the way I have."

Randy let a smug smile touch his lips as the other three men at the table reacted in shock.

"Are you fucking serious? Oh shit, that's cool guys," Rob said with a laugh.

"Figures the two hottest guys here would hook up," Shawn said rolling his eyes playfully. "That's good though, just don't kill each other over a mirror," he teased.

"Ha ha," Randy said in playful sarcasm. "Like you could talk with your hour and forty-five minute long bathroom ritual."

"It takes time to look this good."

"If that's the case, maybe you should take a little bit more," Chris said with an easy laugh.

"Look, junior, I've been breaking hearts since before you were born," Shawn reminded with a sexy smile.

"Okay, Shawn, you're hot alright? There's no need to bring up the old HBK days," Rob said in mock horror.

"What do you mean old? They're still alive and young."

"No, I killed them remember," Randy said with a sly smile.

"Oh yeah, we're in the presence of The Legend Killer, how could I have forgotten," Shawn said with exaggerated sarcasm. "Give the boy one damn nickname and storyline and he thinks he's Super Man."

"Got the Man Of Steele part down," Chris supplied with a grin while everyone else laughed.

"Is it serious or what," Jason asked.

The question had sounded casual, but Randy could see the actual concern in Jason's eyes. He knew that Chris and Jason were good friends and he wanted to make sure Jason understood that he didn't have to worry about him using Chris.

"We're together," he informed.

"Yeah," Chris agreed sitting up straight with a happy smile. "I have a boyfriend again. Can you believe it?"

"I have a boyfriend," Randy said in awe as if the thought had just occurred to him. He liked it. "I have a boyfriend," he said again with a smile.

"You have a boyfriend RKO," Amy Dumas, a.k.a Lita, asked. She'd been walking by and overheard.

"Yeah," Randy said with a genuine smile. She was the one girl in the locker room that he really and truly vibed with. She was down to earth and nice and had this thing with calling her friends by either initials or some nickname she thought up. He thought it was extremely adorable.

"Who is it?"

"Chris."

"My CJ," she asked with a smile.

"Yep," Chris answered with a laugh.

"That's totally cool guys. You're both lucky you know that?"

"Yeah," they said together.

"Can I tell everyone?"

Chris and Randy shared a quick glance before nodding.

Lita smiled and looked around the restaurant. When she saw only wrestlers in sight she whistled loudly to grab everyone's attention.

"Yo, CJ and RKO are dating!"

Silence ensued for all of three seconds and then everyone began talking at once.

"You two thought you were hot topics before? You just became the biggest thing since Justin and Janet," Shawn said with a sickeningly sweet smile.

Chris and Randy just laughed as groups of wrestlers began to approach the table.

***

It was nice having a boyfriend. The cute little touches, the secret smiles, the falling asleep and waking up together, THE SEX. Things were good, except Chris didn't really know anything about Randy. Well, he didn't know a lot of personal things about him. He knew about his family, about his career, his birthday, how many dogs he has, what kind of music he listens to, that crush he used to have on AJ McLean from the Backstreet Boys, things like that. But he didn't know about his dreams, his thoughts on his life, the two serious relationships he'd been in before Chris, or the reason why he could see right through Chris like he knew his thought before he could even think them. Those are the things Chris wanted to know. And, being the person he was, he was going find them out if it took him years.

He'd just made this resolve when he heard a knock on his hotel room door. He instantly knew it wasn't Randy by the force behind the knock. It wasn't a pounding, but it wasn't the soft, subtle way that Randy knocked either. Randy's knock was more like a tap. Chris noticed, with a goofy grin, that he'd memorized the man's knock. He kept the smile all the way to the door.

It vanished the minute he saw the man standing on the other side.

"Well I can feel the love," Hunter deadpanned as he pushed his way into the room.

Chris rolled his eyes as he closed the door and turned to see Hunter looking around the room.

"Can I help you with something, or did you just come by on a whim?"

"What's he got that I don't?"

Well, that was blunt.

"We're not having this conversation right now, Hunter. In fact, we're not having it ever. You lost your right and privilege to ever have this conversation with me nine months ago. What I do with my life, that you blew your chance of ever being a part of, is none of your business. That said, I think it's time for you to leave."

"Come on Chris, stop being dramatic. We could be good together. It could be way better than what you've got."

"A-are you on crack? Are you hearing me? No. It's over. That in itself is a stretch because it had never even started to begin with. Therefore, please stop acting like some jealous ex. You had your chance, you didn't take it, and that's it."

"What do you want me to say, Chris? What do you wanna hear? That I'm an asshole? I am. You wanna hear me say that I'm an idiot? I'm that too. You want me to say that I made the biggest mistake of my life by turning my back on a relationship with you? I did, and I know that now. The belt doesn't compare to you, Chris, it's an inanimate object. You're real and you're funny, and beautiful, and warm, and compassionate. I want you," Hunter said taking Chris' hand and stroking his knuckles gently with his thumb. "We can make it work, I can be what you need."

"No you can't, Hunter," Chris said softly and slowly pulled his hand from Hunter's.

"But I've changed."

"So have I. Back then, I wanted you to want me. I needed you to. I wanted so much for you to look at me and not be able to think because you wanted to fuck me that much. I know that's all I could ever expect from you, and back then that was enough for me, but not now. I'm not that person anymore. I'm not, and so we couldn't ever work. I'm at a completely different place in my life and I need something that you're not capable of giving me."

"And Randy can give it to you?"

"He does. He cares about me, Hunter, for real."

"You think he loves you, Chris? You think he's head over heels?"

"No," Chris said unaffected by Hunter's slight mocking. "But that's okay, because he cares, and there's a possibility that he could love me. That possibility could never be there with you, ever, and you know it."

"That's not true, Chris, give me a chance."

"When you were standing on the other side of my door and you pictured yourself coming in here telling me all of this, what did you think was going to happen between us? Did you picture us together next year, or next month, or hell even tomorrow? Or did you just picture us fucking like rabbits for the rest of the night? And I bet you pictured yourself rubbing the fact that you stole me in Randy's face too didn't you?" When Hunter didn't answer right away Chris shook his head sadly. "I thought so. You're driven by your own ego, Hunter. You don't want anyone else to have something that you don't and you want things just so that you can say that you have them. You don't really wanna be with me. At best, you wanna fuck the shit out of me on a regular basis without having to worry about asking permission, and you really only want that because I'm with Randy. Stop trying to fool yourself into thinking it's something else, it'll save you and me a lot of time and arguments. You can't change, and you really don't even have to because there are plenty of other guys backstage that'll take you any way they can get you. I'm just not one of them, not anymore. And while I'm sure that eats you alive, if you would just open your eyes you'd be able to see that Shawn worships the fucking ground that you walk on and has been doing so for a damn decade. Stop being such a dick and try to make someone else happy besides yourself for a change." Chris paused for a breath and found Hunter staring at him as though he'd never seen him before. "So, yeah. Oh, and don't ever try this again. Randy's supposed to be your friend and not only are you being disrespectful to him and your friendship, but you're also disrespecting me, and I won't have it."

Chris walked over to the door and held it open.

"Chris?"

Chris held his breath at his tone. He knew what was coming, he knew because he and Hunter had been close enough at one point in time that he could read the questions in his voice.

"What happened to you? A few months back, what was that?"

"I got smart," Chris said softly.

"Huh. Is that what you're calling it?"

"Bye Hunter."

"Do you love him? I mean really love him, Chris?"

Chris stared deep into Hunter's hazel eyes for a moment. Then he looked at the door.

"Goodbye, Hunter," he murmured.

Hunter nodded slowly and walked out of Chris' room without a second glance. Chris closed the door behind him with a sigh before walking over and collapsing back on the bed.

Where in the hell was Randy?



Chris fell asleep on that same thought about forty-five minutes later. He'd been suddenly tired after Hunter left and couldn't keep his eyes open to save his life. And Randy still hadn't showed up. Chris' last emotion was concern before he drifted off to sleep almost against his will.

He was jarred from his sleep by the ringing of his cell phone not thirty minutes after his eyes had slid shut for the last time. He pulled it from his pants pocket and answered it.

"Yeah?"

"Chris, are you asleep," a gentle voice asked.

"No, I'm talking to you dumbass," Chris said with a fond smile. "What's up C?"

"Nothin' much, thought I'd call and say a quick hello before you were wrapped up in your boy. Looks like I caught you in an after moment."

"No, he's not here. I don't know where the hell he is to tell the truth. I'd just dozed off about thirty minutes ago though, thanks for waking me up."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, I wanna be up to interrogate his ass when he walks in here," Chris said with an easy laugh. "He's probably out with the Ric or something I don't know. Why haven't you called me all week?"

"That was off topic."

"So what? Answer the question."

"We haven't been in the same time-zone and I didn't feel like trying to figure out the time difference and then worry about whether or not I would be interrupting anything between you and your boy. It was too much work and I'm only one me."

"Yeah, lazy as hell."

"Some people like it," John teased.

"You've met someone," Chris declared suddenly sitting up straighter with his realization. "I can hear it in your voice. Who is it?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," John said trying to keep the smile out of his voice.

"Yes you do, and I swear to God if I have to go to-wherever the hell you are-and give the entire Smackdown locker room the third degree I'll figure it out."

"Go ahead it's not any of them."

"But it's somebody," Chris said triumphantly while John cursed softly on the other end. "You can't lie to me, John I see all and know all. Plus it's obvious it couldn't be any of them, the only good looking guy on the show is you."

"Hey, Kurt's got a nice ass."

"Yeah, just a shame it looks better than his face. We got all the fine guys."

"We have Billy."

"Okay, so there's two fine guys on Smackdown versus, well almost everyone on Raw."

"Kiss my ass."

"I think I've done that before."

"Oh yeah huh? Forgot about that."

"Should I be insulted?"

"No, because you know I love ya," John said making annoying kissing noises.

"Yeah yeah. Tell me about this guy."

"What do you wanna know?"

"Who he is maybe?"

"You wouldn't believe me even if I did tell you."

"It's been a pretty fucking unbelievable day. You'd be surprised what I'm open to believing right now."

"You'll tell me later," John stated more than he asked.

"Most likely. Anyway, who is it?"

"Rob."

"Rob? As in Rob, Rob? RVD Rob?"

"Yeah."

Congratulations, he's pretty damn hot. How long has this been going on?"

"Three weeks."

"What?! THREE WEEKS?! Where the hell was your phone during these three weeks?"

"I've been talking to you."

"So why weren't your brain, lips, and voice working together to inform me of this little development while you were talking to me?"

"I didn't wanna jinx it, C. I like him, and I wasn't really sure if it was serious yet so I figured I'd wait until I knew for sure."

"And you know for sure now?"

"I think. We had sex day before yesterday. Not just sex, there was a connection you know? We were starting to talk about it yesterday, but we got disconnected while he was in his car. He called early this morning to tell me he was flying to meet me in St. Louis tomorrow. He says he wants to talk about this face to face."

"I'd say that's a good sign. I'm happy for you so I'm not gonna bring up the fact that you just fed me some bullshit line about not calling me all week because of the time difference, but you've obviously been talking to him. Just yesterday, actually. I'm not gonna say a word about it."

"I'm glad we're not gonna discuss that. That way I won't have to say that I'm sorry, but I knew you would see right through me and I, again, didn't wanna jinx it. But since we're not talking about it, I don't have to apologize and tell you that I hope and pray you're not mad at me."

"And I guess I won't have to tell you that I'm not mad, just teasing. Now that that's not talked about, I can get back to congratulating you."

"I'm so happy, C. He makes me laugh and smile and shit. It's like you only with the other level thing going on you know?"

"Yeah, that's how it is with Randy. I'm happy for you, C. Tell him I'll kick his ass if he hurts you. And we travel together so I can do it."

"Oh he knows. I think he was intimidated at first 'cause of our friendship until day before yesterday. I put all doubt out of his mind."

"I can almost hear your head getting bigger," Chris deadpanned.

"Which one?"

"Ew, C, best friend here, not boyfriend. That's a little TMI for me okay," Chris said faking grossness.

"Like you haven't spent entire nights doing everything in your power to get me to the point I'm at right now. And let's not forget the wonderful jack-off sessions we've had to each other's voices."

"Yeah, but that was different. Now we have boyfriends and you're telling me that you're getting all hard thinking about yours. That's just sick. It's not like I tell you I jerk off in the shower thinking about the way Randy looks when I'm fingering him."

"Okay, I get it! Stop before you traumatize me," John shrieked playfully. "How long has it been for you guys now anyway, three months?"

"It will be in three days," Chris said with a smile. "I wonder where he is."

"I don't know, but I'll bet he's somewhere thinking about you. I on the other hand have some jerking off to do so I'll call you tomorrow and tell you how everything went."

"You do that, C. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Bye, honey," John said in a girly voice.

"Bye, dear," Chris said in a sugary sweet voice and hung up the phone. "Now where the hell are you at baby," Chris muttered dialing Randy's cell phone.

"'Lo?"

"Yeah, uhm, I was just wondering if you were coming over or not? If not, I can just wash off the chocolate syrup and put my clothes back on and go to sleep."

"Don't play like that," Randy said in a low voice that was full of lust.

"What are you doing?"

"Ric and a couple other guys wanna go to some club. I'll ask 'em to drop me off at the hotel if you want me to come right now though."

"No, no, you go out and have a good time."

"You sure?"

"Yes, baby. You haven't been out with them in weeks. I'm sure they'll all have aneurisms or go into withdrawal or some shit if you spend too much time away from them."

"I guess," Randy said with a chuckle. "What are you doing?"

"Right now? Uhm, I'm laying down in bed and I'm undoing my pants," Chris said working his pants open and easing them off while he propped the phone against his shoulder and ear. "Now I'm taking off my boxers…and now I'm running my finger up and down my dick. I'm thinking of all the things you could be doing to me right now. All the places you could be touching and licking," he moaned as he wrapped his hand around his dick and began to stroke slowly. "All the things I could be sucking and biting."

"Chris," Randy said in a low, hoarse voice before his throat closed up.

"Mmm, I like the way you say my name," Chris breathed. "Gets me even harder," he gasped before a tiny whimper left his throat. He chuckled when he heard Randy demand to be dropped off at the hotel. "Hurry, baby, I don't think I can last much longer," he supplied as a long moan slipped past his lips.

He knows for a fact that Randy dropped the phone.

***

Randy walked into Chris' hotel room to find it completely dark except for the moonlight coming in through the curtains. He saw the outline of Chris' body underneath the covers of the bed and smiled softly. He knew he wasn't asleep.

Randy peeled his clothes off slowly and left them where they fell before he made his way towards the bed. He smiled when Chris pulled the covers down for him. He climbed in and moved in until their bodies were pressed together.

"Took you long enough."

"Matt's a cautious driver," Randy whispered kissing Chris lightly. "I'm here now, what's wrong."

"What do you mean what's wrong? Other than the fact that I'm so turned on I can hardly breathe?"

"Yeah, other than that," Randy said in that way he had that let Chris know he couldn't fool him.

"How do you do that? How do you look at me and just know? How can you see right through me like that?"

"It's easy when you've been there and you know to look. What's wrong?"

"Hunter came by while you were gone."

"And," Randy asked letting his hand run in soft circles over Chris' lower back. There was no mistaking the rising anger in his voice over the fact of Hunter being there while he wasn't, but he didn't want Chris to think it was meant for him. It was all towards Hunter.

"And he told me some stuff."

"About?"

"Us."

"Do you mean 'us' like you and me, or 'us' like you and him," Randy asked with no annoyance evident in his voice. He didn't mind that he was going to have to pull this our of Chris. It had upset him, therefore it was going to be hard for him to talk about.

"A little about you and me, but mostly about me and him."

"What did he say about you and me?"

"He asked me if I thought you could give me something that he couldn't, and I told him yeah. Then he got kind of mad and he asked me if I thought you were, like, head over heals in love with me."

"What did you say," Randy asked quietly.

"I told him no."

Randy didn't agree or disagree with that, he just sort of looked at Chris. He ran his hand up Chris' back and let his fingers roam through the blonde mane.

"Did he ask you if you loved me?"

"Yeah," Chris said in a small voice.

"You didn't say anything did you," Randy asked in a way that suggested he already knew he was right. He saw the surprise on Chris' face even in the dark. "I thought so. Did he say anything else about us?"

"He just asked what you had that he didn't. He didn't get an answer to that either. Well, I told him he had no business asking about who I'm with or why in the first place. I told him anything we might've had was over."

"Is that when he started talking about the two of you?"

"Yeah."

"What was he saying?"

"Just a lot of stuff."

"Stuff that you wanted to hear a long time ago," Randy asked in a murmur.

"Yeah," Chris whispered. "He said everything he should have. He said all the right words. I felt some part of me wanting to believe him too. That little bitty part of me that I can't make go away."

"Was it hard for you to tell him no?"

"No. I knew he wasn't for real, he can't be for real. I said a part of me wanted to believe him, not that it did. Hunter wants me so that he can feel secure. He knows that I got over him and it's fucking with his head. He doesn't want to be second best to anyone over anything. That's all there is to it."

"Did you tell him that?"

"Yeah."

"Did he listen?"

"I think he did. I think something actually clicked in his head, especially when I sent him in Shawn's direction."

"Then what upset you? If you said it wasn't a struggle to tell him to leave and all that, what did he say to hurt you?"

"I don't know."

"Chris," Randy chided softly. "This is you and me in bed. You don't need any walls here."

Chris sighed softly in agreement. "He asked about what happened."

"Six months ago?"

"Yeah, how did you know?"

"I've wanted to ask too, but I see something in your eyes everytime someone says something about that time period. I figured I'd stay away from that for a while."

"And you're doing it now too aren't you?"

"Yeah I am. You'll tell me when you're ready," Randy said with an easy confidence that made Chris warm inside.

"I think I'm falling in love with you."

"I know," Randy said with a half smile.

"How?"

"I've been there too."

"Been there? Does that mean you've passed it?"

"Yeah. I'm done falling in love with you, Chris, I'm completely in love with you."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I wanted to wait until you were ready for that too and you weren't."

"Why am I ready all of a sudden?"

"Because you're almost in love with me too."

"You amaze me."

"I amaze everybody," Randy teased.

"Me most."

"Then I've accomplished my goal," he said softly kissing Chris' lips.

"Do you think I'm weak?"

Randy didn't even blink at the abrupt subject change. He knew Chris had issues with his self-esteem, no matter how well he hid it. He also knew that, in Chris' eyes, his opinion mattered the most, and that if he didn't reassure Chris, the older man could break at any minute. He could see the struggle it took for him to keep it together everyday as it was. He saw the tears when Chris though he didn't.

"Everybody is weak at some point. I think you've been through something and you're hiding behind a persona because you don't wanna hurt anymore. That doesn't make you weak, it makes you human."

"Or a coward."

"Nobody wants to hurt, Chris, not you, not me, not anyone."

"Who hurt you?"

Randy paused at that. "Too many people," he said finally.

"Why?"

"I don't know. I guess everybody had their own opinions on how I should act and what role I should play. And they took it upon themselves to make sure I was what they wanted me to be."

"Your dad," Chris stated more than he asked.

"Him, Josh, Brandon."

"Josh and Brandon? Were those the two before me?"

"Yeah that's them," Randy said with fake enthusiasm.

"I'm not them," Chris whispered. "I won't ever hurt you, not if I can help it."

"I know, babe, I trust you. You're not like them, you're not like anybody. You're special Chris."

"I'm really not."

"Yes you really are, and I feel special when I'm with you. Like, I don't ever buy into myself you know? I hear people talk about how amazing I am, and how talented, and good-looking and shit and I shrug it off. I never let myself get bigheaded. I remind myself that I was never guaranteed to be here. I worked hard just like everybody else, and it could've been anybody else here in my place. I look at myself like this ordinary guy. Except, when I'm with you, you make me feel important, like I'm something great. I feel like I'm better than everybody else because you lay down next to me every night, and you kiss me awake every morning. I feel special, because you're with me."

"I do love you," Chris whispered as a tear slid down his cheek. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," Randy said kissing him as he wiped gently at his cheek.

"Make love to me," Chris whispered against his lips.

"No. Make love to me."

"Okay."

***

"Yo, Randy, can I talk to you for a minute?"

Randy excused himself from Shannon Moore and walked over to John. They were backstage at a pay-per-view preparing for their matches. They both knew that Chris' match was coming up soon and they were near one of the big screens to watch it.

"What's up?"

"I never got to talk to you about you and Chris."

Randy didn't know why he was suddenly nervous. He wasn't afraid of John or anything, if it ever came down to a fight he knew he could hold his own, but he still felt a little shaky as he looked at the slightly shorter man. He figured it was the fact that John was the closest friend that Chris had and he really wanted him to approve of him. He and John had never had any problems, in fact they'd been cool in the beginning because they came in at about the same time. He wanted it to stay that way. He wanted all three of them to get along.

"I've been meaning to tell you how I felt about you and him."

"How's that?"

"I'm glad that he finally got you. He's wanted you for the longest, man. He's my best friend in the world and I'm so happy to see him with someone that actually loves him as much as he loves them. And I'm so fucking happy to see that you're not dicking him around like more than half the guys he's been with too. He deserves to be happy and you make him happy. He can't stop talking about you and he can't stop smiling."

Randy couldn't stop the little dreamy smile that touched his lips at John's words.

"I want you to make sure you take care of him, Randy," John said leaning in closer and speaking in a soft but serious tone. "He went through some shit a long time ago and he was just getting completely over it, but it got all fucked up again. I don't know what he's told you or what he hasn't so I won't say anything except that he went through some more shit recently and he's not the same anymore. He's fragile now, but he tries to hide it. I'm trying to help but I can only do so much being so far away all the time. Please, just don't run away from him because of it. If you love him like you say you do, try to help him and don't freak out on him. He needs you."

"I know he's been through something and I know how fragile he is. You don't have to worry about me freaking out on him because of this. I've been exactly where he is and I just wanna pull him out of it."

"I thought there was something about you way back when we first came in. There's a lot more to you than you let people think."

"Yeah there is."

"He'll take of you too then. I never thought about it, but you need Chris as much as he needs you. You'll have to be strong for each other."

Randy didn't say anything to that because there was nothing to say.

"I think you two are like the perfect match. I'm happy it's you that he's with. You're a good person Randy, cocky as hell, but a good person," John said as he and Randy chuckled.

"It means a lot that you think so. I'm happy that you approve of me and Chris. Thank you."

"Don't thank me, thank yourself. You're the one doing all the good stuff to get my approval. We're cool just as long as you guys are cool. If for some reason you both decide to end it, we'll still be cool. But if you break his heart…" John trailed off at that.

Randy caught the seriousness of his tone and read the promise in his eyes. He didn't doubt him for a second.

"You don't have to worry about that. I don't plan on hurting him."

"That's good. And if it makes you feel any better, he's not exempt either. If he hurts you'll I'm gonna kick is ass too. This type of relationship isn't something that you can afford to fuck up. It's too perfect."

Randy was about to reply when they heard Chris' music echoing through the arena. They both made their way to the big screen to watch his match.

***

"I was so scared you were leaving," Chris said softly, hugging Randy hard as soon as the cameras were turned off at the end of the show.

"God me too. I just knew your name was gonna get called."

"I can't believe Rob got called," he said still clutching Randy. "Or Spike. Or Rene. Or, or…"

"Or Hunter," Randy said quietly as they broke apart slowly. He was still shell-shocked at the fact that his leader and friend was leaving.

Hunter had apologized to both him and Chris spectacularly and very sincerely. Ever since, he'd been overly cool about their relationship. He and Chris had even repaired their relationship enough over the last two months to call themselves friends while he and Shawn had ventured out to form a real, albeit tentative, relationship of their own. Monogamy included.

"He's not leaving," Chris answered squeezing Randy's hands reassuringly. "There's no way. He's gonna pull some kinda strings to stay here. Trust me, Shawn would be freaking out right now if he though Hunter was really going somewhere."

"Why would he do all that to stay?"

"Because he knows he can. Plus, there's too much for him here."

"You're right. They can't break up Evolution right now anyway. We have matches planned into the next four months."

Chris nodded absently as he stared into Randy's beautiful blue eyes. "I'm so glad you're still with me." He felt himself choking up. "I seriously don't know what I would've done if you were leaving me. I…"

"Shh, I'm not baby. I'm staying right here."

Chris bit his lip appearing to not have heard a word Randy had said. When the tears formed in his eyes Randy was a little taken aback, not to mention confused.

He took Chris by the hand and led him out into the hallway silently ignoring all the concerned and confused looks he and a now fully crying Chris were receiving from the other wrestlers.

He closed the door behind them and leaned against the hallway wall pulling Chris to stand about half an inch away from him.

"Baby what's wrong?"

Chris looked at the wall behind Randy's head as he tried to get himself under control.

"Christopher."

"Randall," Chris said back with a weak smile as he wiped at his eyes and finally met Randy's.

"Talk to me, sweetheart. What's wrong?"

"I'm just shook up from the draft. We've been stressing about it all week and it's all coming to a head now that it's over."

"What's really wrong, Chris? I know it's not just that."

Chris heaved a tired sigh. "I was thinking of you, of us. I…I feel so much inside of me everytime I look at you and I don't wanna lose that. I don't wanna lose you. This whole thing could've tore us apart, and I was thinking of what my life would be like without seeing you everyday. It hurts so much to be away from John like that and he's just my best friend. I don't think I could do it with you too. I never wanna be away from you," Chris finished dashing at the tears that had started to fall again.

"You've been thinking about this a lot longer than just today haven't you? Since before the draft was even announced," Randy added more to himself than to Chris.

"No."

"Chris, it's just you and me here."

"I know," Chris mumbled looking at the floor.

"So talk to me."

"We're talking."

"No we're not. You're putting up your walls and you're treating me like I'm one of the guys in that room. You're hiding from me again."

"I'm sorry, Randy. I'm so used to it. I don't mean to d-"

"I know, sweetheart," Randy said as the tears began to gather again. It was obviously something wrong here. Chris didn't normally have these weird mood swings and crying spells. He was never this emotional either. Randy was starting to get worried. "I know you don't mean to. I wanna help you though Chris, and I can't if you don't let me."

"I have been thinking about it for a while. Since you told me that you were in love with me. I'm scared. I don't wanna lose what we have, I've never had anything like this. Never felt the way I do when I'm with you. I…I don't want it to end."

"Chris why didn't you tell me you were feeling like that," Randy asked pulling him into a hug and feeling Chris rest his head on his shoulder. "I would've made sure you knew I wasn't going anywhere. I'm not, baby, I'm not leaving you."

"You'll never hurt me will you, Randy," Chris sobbed into his shirt.

"No, Chris, I'll never hurt you," Randy said struggling to keep his voice calm. His worry was rapidly turning into panic. Chris was sounding almost desperate. "I'll never hurt you baby."

"You promise?"

"I swear," he assured tightening his hold around the older man.

"I love you," Chris squeaked quietly as his tears began to dissipate. "I love you so much."

"I love you too, Chris, you know that right," Randy said lifting Chris' head from his shoulder to look into his eyes.

"Yeah, I know."

Randy gave him a small smile as he gently wiped the last of his tears away with his thumbs.

"Do you feel better now?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry I broke down. I guess I just needed to hear you say some of that. You must think I'm crazy or something," he said with a nervous laugh.

Randy almost cringed at that. He could almost see Chris slamming up some of his protective walls again. He was ashamed of his actions so he was shielding himself from them.

"No I don't. And you don't ever have to apologize to me for stuff like that. That's why I'm here, Chris. For you. For whatever you need."

"Thank you. I…that means a lot."

"I know."

And Chris knew that he knew. Randy always knew. He knew everything about him, even when Chris himself didn't know. It unnerved and comforted him at the same time. Most of all it gave him a sense of safety.

Safety. The word seemed so foreign to Chris. It hadn't been something he could only dream of feeling every sense he was thirteen. When…

"What are you thinking about," Randy asked.

"Nothing," Chris said slowly. "I…I can't tell you. Not yet."

The look Chris gave Randy was one of pleading. He was silently begging him to understand and not to push. Randy almost ignored his pleas and started to ask anyway when he saw the vivid pain in Chris' clear blue eyes, brighter now with emotion. He stopped though, remembering how he himself had shut down when people had tried to force him to talk. How he got angry and yelled and pulled away. He didn't want that with Chris. He'd wait.

"Okay."

"Please don't be mad at me, Randy. I'm trying. I wanna be honest with you, I wanna tell you, but it's hard for me."

"I know sweetie. I told you I understand. I'm not mad at you, I promise," Randy told him in a soft voice while he gently ran his fingers through Chris' blonde tresses.

"How come I'm older, but you're the one playing baby-sitter and mature grown up? I feel like I'm the one with all the problems and shit and you're stuck having to deal with them."

"Oh I have problems, Chris, believe me. And just because you're older than me doesn't mean you have to be the strong one all the time. If you can't lean on me when you need to then I wouldn't be your boyfriend. I wouldn't even be your friend. When the time comes I'll lean on you and you'll be able to play baby-sitter and mature adult too."

"Promise," Chris asked with a more playful smile as a little of the light returned to his eyes.

"Promise. You ready to go?"

"Yeah. I'll make all this up to you at the hotel."

"Hey," Randy said catching Chris' arm gently as he moved to back away from him. "There's nothing to make up for here, Chris. This wasn't a mistake or anything and I don't mind. I like being here for you. I like being the one you turn to, and I like making you feel better. How about we go back to the hotel and celebrate the fact that we didn't get drafted? I like that scenario better."

"I do too," Chris said with a real smile.

***

Randy and Chris were in the back of the limo on the way back to the hotel about an hour away. Randy had insisted that Chris lay down and rest until they arrived. He was still concerned about Chris' emotional state even though Chris assured him he was fine. He'd argued that he wasn't even close to tired, but fell asleep with his head in Randy's lap three minutes into the drive.

Randy knew something was wrong, really wrong. It was deeper than what Chris was telling him, but he was aware that he'd scratched the surface of something important tonight. He'd got a glimpse of some of Chris' inner angst and it had scared him just like he thought it would. It was raw and it was strong. He was amazed at it, but more determined than ever to ease it.

The ringing of his phone cut him out of his thoughts. Chris shifted in his lap at the noise so he answered it quickly.

"Hello?"

"Randy it's John, is Chris with you?"

"Yeah, he's right here, but he's sleeping," Randy said quietly. He didn't fail to notice the edge of panic in John's voice. "Do you want me to wake him up?"

"No! I wanna talk to you. Look don't even say my name, just say yes or no. He pretends to be asleep sometimes when he's not and I don't want him to know I was talking to you about this."

"Okay," Randy said slowly. Normally he would crack a joke about John's behavior or at least question it, but something about the fear in the other man's voice was compelling him to cooperate.

"I just watched the fucking draft. You know there's a delay. I can't believe this shit! Is he fucked up?"

"Yes."

"Goddamn it! It's starting all over again! Was he crying a lot?"

"Yes."

"Insecure, clingy?"

"Yes," Randy said feeling his fear grow to an all time high. The fact that John knew what was happening with Chris without seeing him was throwing Randy for a loop. The fact that John was nearly having a panic attack from knowing what was happening with Chris was terrifying him.

"He's not going to be good, Randy. He's going to be fucked up for…fuck a long time it looks like."

"No."

"No? What the fuck? I'm telling you what to expect, I've been here before."

"No."

"What, you think you're gonna pull him out of this? You think you're gonna make this stop?"

"Yes."

There was a long pause on John's end before he said, "Good, that's what I wanna hear. You have to know something about the problem before you can start solving it though. Do you have any clue what's going on?"

"No. Well, not really."

John took a deep breath and sighed. "I'm probably putting me and Chris' friendship on the line with what I'm about to tell you, Randy."

"No, you don't have t-"

"Yes I do, and shut up before he figures out who you're talking to," John hissed urgently assuming that Chris was in fact awake. "I'm not telling you everything anyway because that's his place not mine. I just, I have to do something. I can't watch him go through this again. It kills me you know?"

"Yes," Randy said with enough feeling to choke John up.

"Okay, uhm, think about the draft. He was fine until the draft right," John asked deciding to lead Randy to the answer instead of just telling him. It helped to ease his conscience a little.

"Yeah."

"Think about that. It can't really be that he was upset over the people who left. He wasn't too close to Rob, not close enough to set this off. He barely talked to Spike, he couldn't stand Dupree, and we all know Hunter isn't going anywhere. Therefore, we can come to a conclusion right?"

"Yeah."

John heard the understanding in Randy's voice. "Exactly. It's somebody who's coming in. Who could that be? Well, it sure as hell isn't Shelton Benjamin. Who else did you get that' s important enough to rate a mention?" At Randy's intake of breath John let out a sigh. "Are you thinking Adam?"

"Yes," Randy breathed.

"Then you're thinking right. That's all I can tell you. Watch Adam and watch him close. Watch Chris too, don't let him slip back into how he was eight months ago. I don't think all his walls can protect him now."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. Me and him will probably be on the phone a lot, if he'll even talk to me. He gets to where he won't talk to anyone sometimes. But, if he'll let me, I'll be trying to help, and to get him to talk to you. I'll keep in touch with you too. Bye."

"Bye."

Randy hung up his phone and took a breath trying to stop himself from freaking out. He knew he would be no good to Chris if he was angry and panicky and just overly emotional. He had to be the calm and rational one right now. And, being the rational thinker that he was, he rationally worked out that Chris had not been sleeping the entire time he was on the phone, that he knew who he was talking to, what about, and that he was not upset. If he was upset, he wouldn't still be pretending to be asleep.

"Get up."

"Rather forceful aren't we," Chris murmured sitting up and kissing Randy on the tip of the nose. "Next time you wanna snoop around in my past, do it while I'm awake. Or at least when I'm obviously awake."

"I wasn't snooping, John was offering it up and I had no choice but to listen. You two are very emotional when you're upset. I thought he'd throw himself into oncoming traffic or something if I hung up."

Chris ignored his joke and regarded him with serious eyes. "You're emotional too. This is a lot harder on you than you're showing isn't it?"

Randy sighed and played with a loch of Chris' hair. "It's always hard to be in the dark about something like this. To see someone you love suffering or hurting and not being able to protect them. And I know that I have to keep it together for you, for us. We can't both fall apart or neither one of us will be able to put the other one back together."

"You don't have to do this," Chris said in an almost inaudible voice as he looked at the leather seat across from them. "If this is all too much for you then you can leave. I'll understand."

"Oh no, baby you're stuck with me. I'm in now, I'm not going anywhere. And you know why?"

When Chris didn't answer Randy gently took his chin between his fingers and guided his head to look at him.

"Do you know why, Chris?"

"Because you love me?"

The uncertainty in his voice broke Randy's heart. "Yes because I love you. I love you so much. And because I can't and won't forget the way you clung to me in that hallway and told me that you don't know what you would do without me in your life."

"Don't stay out of pity or obligation."

"Don't suggest things that you know aren't true. You know I would never do that to either of. Neither one of us would deserve it. I'm staying because I feel the same way you do."

"You shouldn't, it's too soon. It's only been five months."

"You're not listening to me. You're…" Randy thought for a second before switching tactics. "Do you love me Chris?"

"Yes," Chris answered a little hurt that Randy would question it. "You know I do."

"Then why shouldn't I love you? Why is too soon for me and not for you? You're just grasping at straws now, I know you know how I feel about you. Stop trying to push me away Chris, it's not gonna happen. I don't care what you do, you can get angry at me, you can try to convince me to leave you, you can try to tell me that you don't love me, but none of it's going to work. I'm not leaving, and I will be here for you, so we can just skip this part and get to the bigger stuff."

"I don't wanna hurt you anymore than I already am," Chris choked out.

"Baby, it's not up to you. It's not under your control and it's not your fault either. I'll always hurt when you hurt, whether we're together or not. It would hurt me worse if I had to see you hurting and not be able to be in your life to do anything about it. And even when we get past this, when something else hurts you it's gonna hurt me. That comes with loving someone."

"What did I do to deserve you?"

"You're you," Randy said simply, automatically.

"That's not enough."

"I know. It's more than," Randy assured with a slight smile.

Chris felt a ghost of a smile skate across his own lips before his eyes again regarded Randy in a serious manner. "You look so tired. You haven't been getting enough sleep."

It was true. Since Vince announced the draft last week the two of them had been having sex every single night and staying up long after just holding each other, trying to get in as much time together as they could in case they were going to be separated. It had truly taken it's toll, and with the added emotional baggage of the past week mixed with the emotional turmoil they'd gone through just in the last hour or so, Randy was exhausted both mentally and physically. Chris himself wasn't fairing too well either.

"I'll live. We're here for the next two days with nothing to do tomorrow, so you and me can sleep in. Wake up at twelve if we feel like it and then stay in bed all day after that."

"That sounds so good. Holding you next to me all day," Chris sighed.

Randy smiled at Chris' deep sigh. His Chris was still in there somewhere, and he swore to God and everyone else that he would pull him out if it was the last thing he did.

"We can-we can talk a little bit tomorrow too…if you want," Chris ventured softly.

"Do you? We don't have to if you're not ready."

Randy was more than ready to get a little, if not all, of this uncovered. After all he had nothing but a name and a very hurt and emotional boyfriend. On the other hand, if Chris wasn't ready to talk, it could do more damage than good. He had to make sure it was right for Chris, no matter how much he wanted to see the whole thing over and done.

"I want to. I don't know how much I'll be able to say, but I want to tell you as much as I can. You deserve for me to at least try."

"It's no about me, babe, it's-"

"Yes it is," Chris cut in. "It's not all about you, but it's not all about me either. It's not just me anymore, Randy. Everything I do now, every decision I make, is for us. I wanna tell you for you. So that you won't have to be so lost anymore, so that you won't feel so helpless. But I wanna tell you for me too. So that I won't have to see that look in your eyes anymore, and so that you can start to help me make it better like we both know you can. And because I know that with him being here I won't be able to handle it this time without you knowing anything about it. I wanna try, for both of us."

Randy hugged him hard as he swallowed at the lump in his throat and blinked back his tears. As he held the older man in his arms he couldn't help but admire his strength, his heart. Chris was going to swallow his fears and delve into his haunted memories, and for what reasons? For himself yeah, but for Randy too, for their relationship. Randy felt the pride swelling in his heart, which was already bursting with love. Chris thought he didn't deserve him, but Randy knew the truth. He didn't deserve Chris.

But he'd be damned if he let anyone take him from him.

***

Randy fought the nagging voice pulling him from his much needed sleep. He was in the middle of a very good dream. He'd just beat Hulk Hogan for the WWE Championship and Chris had run down to the ring to celebrate with him. They'd been in the middle of a very hot make-out session that had all the fans cheering, when a soft voice broke through. He rolled away from it and it got even softer, but it was still there. He could've normally ignored it, except for the fact that he could place it. Chris. He was about to sit up when he realized that Chris wasn't talking to him. He was apparently on the phone and it wasn't too hard to figure out who with as he listened to Chris' end of the conversation.

"No, I mean, yeah, I mean…fuck I don't know. I wanna tell him, I'm gonna tell him. I'm just scared. What do you think he'll say? Do you think he'll be mad at me? Or disgusted? Do you think he'll think I'm pathetic? Do y-………No, but I-………………..Really?…………..I know he loves me, John, I know that. But your head rules your heart, we've both said that. How many times have me and you talked about it? How many times have we stopped ourselves from falling in love with each other because we knew it would kill the friendship? If we can stop that, then he can stop this. If he gets to thinking about it and decides that he doesn't want me after this, it won't matter if he loves me or not………………….Of course I'm scared, God, have you been listening to me for the past half hour?………….Sorry, nerves. I didn't mean to snap at you…………………Of everything. Of losing him, of being alone, of never feeling this way about anyone ever again, of turning into that person I was eight months ago. Of Adam. Fuck just everything…………………...You know I don't…………Very guilty at the moment…………….Because I know what I'm doing to him. Not to mention you, you know how much I hate to call you with this shit. Both of you are young and rich and you should be having fun with your friends and your boyfriends, not-………………….I know you don't, but I still feel bad……………………..He hasn't yet……………….I don't think so……………I know he would and that's the problem. He'll keep this up as long as I need even though it's hurting him. I feel like I'm not moving fast enough. Like this should've been over before I ever met him. This is not the kind of shit you expect to come up five months into a happy relationship you know? I'm sure crying spells and panic attacks aren't too high on his 'turn on' list.…..……..What?…………Why didn't you tell me he said that to you?……………..Oh God he did didn't he? He's been telling me that since the beginning………….OH SHIT!!………….I don't give a fuck, I'll wake everybody up!…………You don't understand," Chris insisted lowering his voice a little at John's request. "He tells me all the time that he's been there. That he knows what to look for because it's all happened to him before. What if he-……………..I can't not think about it, John. What if it happened to him? The thought of somebody-I'll kill, John, I swear to God I will find whoever it is and-……………….Okay," he said taking a deep breath and letting it out. "Okay, uhm, first things first. I'll tell him. I have to now, there's no other option…………No, because I love him that much………I know, I always know C. I couldn't have done so many things without you. Getting through this past year especially. I love you…………..I'll let you get some sleep now………..Yeah I'm gonna be up for a while, he's awake………..No he was up before then………….I will, you too………….Thanks I'll need it………Bye."

"Roll over," Chris ordered gently as he hung up the phone and laid back down next to his boyfriend.

"Next time you wanna talk about me, do it while I'm awake. Or at least obviously awake."

Chris could hear the smile in his voice as he rolled to face him. It made a little of his nervousness fade. "Not the same situation. But I do get that whole Deja Vu feeling."

"You're scared," Randy stated matter-of-factly.

"You and John are playing Captain Obvious tonight huh?"

"Trying to at least. You don't have to be scared, not about me leaving at least. I'm gonna be here, I promise. I think I have a good idea of what you're gonna tell me, and if it's what I'm thinking, then there's no way I would blame you, or look at you any different than I do right now. No matter what you tell me, you're still the man that I fell in love with, you're still Chris."

"You mean it?"

"Yes, Chris. You don't ever have to be afraid of me. I'm not gonna hurt you purposely. Ever. I want you to always remember that."

"And I want you to remember it too. I promise I won't ever try to hurt you either. I'm not Josh, or Brandon, or your dad."

Randy was surprised at that statement. He wasn't expecting Chris to try to reassure or comfort him right now, but low and behold. Chris was full of surprises.

"I'll remember if you will. Now, do you wanna start now, or wait 'til morning?"

Chris almost said he wanted to wait. The voice inside his head was screaming for him to put it off as long as he could, to buy himself some time. But that was the scared part. His more rational part was telling him that there was no point. A few hours wouldn't change the impact his words would have, nor would they change the outcome. If Randy was going to leave, he was going to leave, whether it be at two o'clock in the morning or ten o'clock in the morning.

"We can do it now."

"Do you want me to go first?"

"What?"

Randy almost smiled at the surprise in his boy's voice. "You didn't think I was gonna make you do this all alone did you? If you tell, I tell too."

"You don't have to, Randy. Don't do it just because I'm doing it. If you're not ready to tell me, then I'll wait."

"Is that what I sound like?"

"Something like that, yeah."

"Huh," Randy said in thought. "Well let me quote you for a second. I'm not doing it for you, I'm doing it for both of us."

"Close enough. I'll go first though, I might lose my nerve if I don't. Please don't interrupt me, and don't try to tell me to stop no matter how bad it gets."

"Okay," Randy said quietly. He hugged Chris to him when he shifted closer almost unconsciously.

"Don't let go," Chris said in a voice that was barely audible, but almost painfully desperate.

"I won't," Randy promised gently.

"When I was thirteen, my uncle came to stay with us in Winnipeg. He and his wife had gotten a divorce and he'd given her the house. He didn't have a job and school was out at the time, so it was just me and him at the house together all day. He would, uhm, he would….Fuck," Chris breathed trying to get himself under control. It had been a year since he'd last said it out loud and before then he never had. He felt Randy's muscles flex around him slightly and he felt a little of his courage return. "He would touch me…at first. He would threaten to beat me if I told anyone, so I didn't. He would tell me how much everyone wanted me, how pretty I was. He would tell me I would make a beautiful girl," Chris said with an emotionless laugh. "Then after about two weeks, he started to make me jack him off. He would tell me that I had soft hands and that if I didn't do it that he would tell everybody about how I let him touch me and that I liked it. He said he would tell everyone what a slut I was if I didn't do what he wanted. So I did it. And after a couple of days he made me suck him for the first time. He kept saying how I had girly lips and that I had such a good tongue. He would make me deep-throat him and swallow and if I choked he would hit me. Then one day he, he," Chris broke off again overcome by tears. He'd been crying silently through the story, but just thinking about what he was about to voice was too much for him.

Just when Randy was about to forget his promise and tell Chris that he didn't have to go on, that it was alright, Chris spoke again.

"He came into my room early one morning and he flipped me over on my stomach. He pulled my underwear down and he just did it. No lube, no condom, no nothing. He just tore me apart and it hurt so much. I was completely frozen. I couldn't scream, I couldn't move, I couldn't even breathe. I passed out from the pain after about five minutes. When I woke up I was covered in blood and he was gone. I threw away my sheets and I cleaned myself up so that my parents would never know. I couldn't take it if I had to look at them everyday and see the pity in their eyes…My uncle, he never came back after that. I never saw him again."

"Chris," Randy murmured brokenly into his golden hair as he held him even closer to his body. "I'm so sorry."

"There's more," Chris said nearly choking on his words. "About eight months ago, me and Adam were sort of talking. I thought I might like him and I knew he liked me. He'd asked me out a lot and I finally said yes. We went out one night when we were in the same city and he was really cool, you know, but I knew it couldn't work. We were on different shows and it would've been too hard to try to have a relationship that way. I told him all that that night in my hotel and he said okay. Then he started trying to kiss me and touch me and I told him to stop. I guess he thought I was joking around or something because he started to laugh and he kept going. I pushed him off of me and I told him that I was serious. When he saw that I wasn't playing he got pissed off and he started to yell at me. He kept saying that I was fucking half the roster anyway and why should he be any different. He said that he wanted a relationship with me even though he knew how much of a slut I was and so I should fuck him just for that. When I told him to leave he got even more mad and he punched me. I tried to fight back, but he was faster than me and he'd hit me five times before I fell back on the bed. He told me that if I was gonna be everyone else's whore then I would be his too. Whether I wanted to or not."

Chris' voice had slipped into a soft murmur as though he were locked in the memories. Randy was sure he didn't even know he was still talking.

"I remember I screamed. He tried to put his hand over my mouth but I bit him and I screamed again. He punched me again and broke my nose. Everything was getting dark, but I heard someone kick the door open. I heard John screaming, but I don't know what he said. All I know is that he pulled Adam off of me and then I passed out. When I woke up I was in his room and he was holding me. He told me that Adam hadn't got a chance to do anything to me yet, and that he'd beat the shit out of him. Adam went away after that, and now he's back. And he's here," Chris squeaked in a tiny, frightened voice. "He's here and I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do. What if he tries to come after me again? What if he tries to hurt you for being with me? God, what if he never lets it go," Chris sobbed into Randy's shoulder.

Randy knew Chris didn't expect an answer. He doubted the man was in the frame of mind to hear it even if he gave him one. Truth be told, Randy didn't particularly like the answer he'd come up with. He didn't like the dark place it came from within him, but he knew it was true. If Adam tried to hurt his Chris in any way shape or form, he would have to go through him. And he knew that he would do anything he had to do to make sure Adam never touched his baby again.

"Randy?"

Randy pushed his murderous thoughts aside and focused on the vulnerable man in his arms.

"Yeah, baby?"

"You're still here?"

The room fell silent for a moment after that wherein Randy could actually hear his heart shattering all over again at the doubt in the voice he loved so much. It hadn't been a statement, it had been a question. As though Chris couldn't quite bring himself to believe that Randy was still in bed with him, still holding him. Like he thought the younger man would vanish if he chose to accept the fact that he wasn't leaving him.

"I'm still here."

"You're not gonna leave?"

"I'm not going anywhere. Not unless you're coming with me."

"I love you," Chris whispered.

Randy caught the uncertainty in those three whispered words. Heard all the doubts all the insecurities, the sheer unadulterated fear.

And he crushed it all.

"I love you too."

Chris' body literally sagged in relief as he melted into Randy's embrace. He couldn't do anything except cry with relief as he held onto the man he loved so much. He couldn't believe the weight that seemed to be lifted from his shoulders, not only from confessing, but from knowing that Randy really did love him and that he was really going to stay. He felt a peace that he hadn't really know since thirteen. For the first time since then, he felt whole, loved.

When he could contain himself, he let his grip relax a bit and scooted away from Randy just slightly. They weren't done here yet.

"Okay," Randy said softly. It wasn't as difficult for him to talk about his past as it was for Chris, but it was difficult nonetheless. "You know my father was a professional wrestler. So was my grandfather. And, obviously, I wanted to walk in their footsteps, I wanted to be in the business too. I told my dad this when I was around ten years old. He started to set things up for me. He put me in this wrestling program for little kids, and he started to train me at home too. Well, after a while, I stopped going to my wrestling class and just trained under him. It stopped being fun. He got more and more demanding, and more and more strict. My mom was having an affair and we both knew it. He started drinking a lot, and he would take it out on me. If I messed something up, he would hit me with his belt. Not a lot at first, but then he started to do it more and more, for more and more reasons. Sometimes he would make up a reason just so that he could take out his pain and frustration on something. Soon, I stopped crying, I was about fourteen then. I didn't wanna give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry. It only made it worse. He started hitting me with his fists, or slapping me around. My mom was never home to stop him and when she was she just locked herself in her bathroom and cried. She didn't even say anything."

It was the first time Randy's voice wavered. He'd gone to counseling for about two years, talked about it with several friends, even his father once, for closure. But everytime he thought about his mother's complete lack of compassion, it tore something inside of him. How a mother could witness her child being beaten and never utter a word was beyond him.

He felt Chris kiss his shoulder softly and felt his tears there too. The older man's arms tightened around him and he knew that he would always remember that moment. The moment where a gesture so small had meant the world to him, how it somehow helped to right the wrongs and ease the pain.

"Uhm, I ran away from home at the age of fifteen. I met Josh at a friend's house where I was staying. He was eighteen and he lived with his twenty one-year- old brother. We started dating, and I moved in with them because the friend I was staying with and his family moved away. That was the stupidest mistake I ever made. Josh had just graduated from high school and he was taking a year off before college, so he was always there. They had a lot of money because their dad ran some sort of business or something and so they never had to work. They just sat around the house all day doing drugs and throwing parties. I never did drugs, I mean I drank, but nothing else ya know? I hated how everyone acted when they were high. They were either trying to fuck anything that walked or they were trying to fight any and everything. I hated being there and after about a year and a half I told Josh I was leaving. Well, he wasn't very happy about that. He went crazy and we had a big fight. We ended up actually hitting each other a few times before I gave up and said I wouldn't leave. I know that I never should've gave in, I should've left that same day. I just couldn't get over the fact that he hit me. He reminded me so much of my dad and it scared me I guess. But after that it just got worse. I stayed for about seven more months and everytime we had an argument he would hit me. It became a pattern until it seemed like we were fighting almost everyday. Sometimes I fought back, but most of the time I just let him beat on me. It seemed easier that way, I was used to that. It went on, until I just couldn't take it anymore. He was abusing me emotionally, mentally, and physically. The night I finally left, they were having another party and he was on the couch fucking some guy right in front of everybody, right in my face like it was nothing. He wasn't even high, he just knew that I wasn't going to do anything about it. And I didn't. I just ran out of the house."

Chris was shaking in his arms and he could almost feel the anger radiating off of his older lover. It made him perversely happy to know that Chris was being affected by his story this much. It wasn't that he enjoyed seeing Chris in this nearly homicidal state, because he didn't, but it was nice to get confirmation that he was loved.

"I ran until my legs gave out. I collapsed somewhere on the side of the road and I just went to sleep. At the time I really didn't care what would happen to me. Someone could've killed me, raped me, run over me and it didn't even matter. I felt so numb. Brandon was the one who picked me up the next morning. He thought I was dead at first and he stopped to check on me. When he saw I was okay for the most part, he picked me up and put me in his truck. He took me to his apartment with him and gave me something to eat. I was seventeen then, he was almost twenty-three. I told him what happened with my dad and Josh and that I had nowhere to go. He told me I could stay with him until I graduated and just get a job to help with the bills a little. So I did. I got a job at the YMCA helping with kids. They taught wrestling there. I hadn't wrestled since I left home and I missed it a lot. I found myself staying late just staring at the ring. I started to remember why I fell in love with it in the first place. I forgot about my dad, about how he had killed it for me and I started to remember the feeling that I had when I was in the ring. One of the guys that taught wrestling there, Michael, noticed how much I hung around and he asked me if I wrestled. I told him who my dad and grandfather were and that I had been wrestling and then stopped. He asked me if I were still interested and that maybe we could practice together, just for fun. So I started to go in early and stay late with the Michael."

"Brandon got mad?"

Randy pulled back a little to look at Chris. Even in the darkness he could clearly see the emotions on his tear-stained face. There was anger, and not a small amount of pain, but over all there was compassion and concern.

And love.

Randy leaned in and kissed him softly, needing to taste what love felt like right now more than ever. He was letting himself get pulled back into his memories and he needed Chris to anchor him. To keep him locked in the present. He pulled back and sighed knowing he could finish and knowing that when he was done Chris would be there to help close his old wounds and help him heal fully from them.

"Yeah. Brandon got mad. We had been having sex for about three months and as far as I knew we weren't really together. I mean, I wasn't seeing anyone else, but we had never talked about it or made it official. In fact, we didn't really talk that much at all. We talked about the bills, the groceries, who needed to do what, and then at night he came in my room and fucked me and left. I didn't think we really had a relationship, which is why I didn't think I was going to piss him off by mentioning Michael. He asked where I had been going lately and I told him to work. He said that I didn't need to work so much over-time because we had enough money and I told him that I wasn't working over-time I was practicing with Michael. He blew up and started yelling at me. I started freaking out because it was just like my dad and Josh and so I told him I had to leave. He apologized and begged and cried for me not to go, so I didn't. We didn't argue or anything for about two weeks, until he got mad at me for still practicing with Michael. I told him that he had no right to be mad and that it wasn't his business what I did and who with. That's when he hit me. He didn't just hit me, he beat the shit out of me. It was worse than my dad and Josh because he didn't stop. He just kept on hitting me and kicking me and…"

Randy kept trying to swallow the rising lump and blink back his burning tears but he couldn't. He broke down and sobbed like a baby. He hadn't let himself cry like this for a long time. He'd always tried to be in control of his emotions, kept trying to be strong. He hadn't wanted to feel the pain anymore, so he'd locked it out. But he felt all of his strength break when Chris pressed him against his strong body and began to coo soothing, comforting words in his ear. He lay rigid letting his broken sobs escape into Chris' neck as he felt everything he'd been working to suppress for years all over again. It felt like dying. He could almost feel the helplessness, the shame, the pain, the hurt, the anger, and the hatred all at once.

And then there was Chris.

His sweet voice was so amazingly calm and soft and full of warmth. He could feel his words more than he could hear them. "Love." "Baby." "Forever." "Us." "Mine." "Together." All the words flowed into him and he could feel them curling around his soul. He felt as if his heart was beating again.

He sniffed and swallowed hard knowing that he had to finish now. He had to get it all out so that he could be done with it. He knew now that he'd never let it go, never let it die. He'd carried it around with him still feeling it and wasn't even aware. The therapists didn't matter, his friends, his dad, none of it had helped because he'd never put it to rest. But here, tonight, he knew that he was going to end it.

"He literally held me hostage in that apartment for almost sixty hours with no food just water. He tied my hands and wrists and had me sitting on the couch. He kept talking to me, hitting me when I wouldn't answer him, or didn't give him the answer he wanted. I didn't even know what he was talking about half the time. I just kept answering hoping it would be right. I thought I was going to die. He kept getting more and more mad as the days went on and I just knew he was going to kill me. Halfway through the second day he'd picked up a knife and h kept playing with it. I think he really was going to murder me that day. But Michael came over. He was worried because I hadn't showed up at work or called and he lived near-by so he decided to check on me. As soon as Brandon opened the door I screamed. I screamed for all I was worth and Michael heard. I don't know how he got inside but he did. I heard them fighting and then he ran around the corner. He grabbed me and picked me up and carried me out and practically threw me in his car. We drove for a long time before he stopped and untied my hands and feet. He took me to a hospital and told them that he was my brother. I don't remember how he got them to buy it but they did. I had to have surgery because Brandon had ruptured my spleen and he'd also broken my nose and two of my ribs."

He heard Chris draw in a shuddering breath trying to reign his emotions. He knew the blonde was trying to be strong for him and not break down. He loved him for it.

"When I got out I was fucked up bad. I was afraid of everyone except Michael. I didn't wanna do anything anymore, except wrestle. It was the only thing that made me feel. I felt happy when I was doing it. And I knew it was the only thing I could do. Ever. So when I graduated I joined some amateur wrestling leagues and worked hard. Ended up here. I healed from all of it mostly. I'm not scared of everybody anymore, I actually enjoy life, and I fell in love. You are the first person I've has sex with for real since I was seventeen though. I've had blowjobs and hand jobs, but not actual real sex. I never trusted anybody else."

"You gave yourself to me like that?"

"Yeah, just like you gave yourself to me like that. We were both waiting Chris, and it turns out we were waiting for each other. I knew for some reason that night that we were made for each other. I knew I could trust you with my heart and my body."

"I love you so fucking much, Randy. I didn't think I could, but I do. And I am never letting you go, not after this."

"That's good," Randy said wiping his eyes, "because I don't plan on leaving any time soon."

End

I wanna be your lake or your bay
And any problems that you have I wanna wash 'em away
I wanna be your sky so blue and high
And any time you think of me I wanna blow your mind
I wanna be your air so sweet and fair
So when you feel that you can't breathe boy I'll be there
And I wanna be your answer all the time
When you see how I put you life before mine
With no question
When all the love feels gone and you can't carry on
Don't worry boy I'ma take it from here
Just as sure as the sun will shine every morning everytime
Don't worry boy I'ma take it from here
~Take It From Here~ By Justin Timberlake