The moonlight filters through the curtains into his room lighting the shadows and planes of his form. He lies there unmoving, the only thing alive about him are his eyes watching me watching him from the foot of the bed. How long I stand there I don't know. I wait until the dark tide in my blood… our blood tells me that it's time.

I move to his side sitting down and gently stroking his dark hair back from his face. His eyes are huge and black in the darkness. I see his confusion reflected in them. He doesn't understand what is going on but he soon will. I continue to caress his face his hair then lean down catching his unresisting lips with my own. Slowly I explore his mouth thrusting my tongue deep into him. His whole body is moaning slightly I can feel it even if I can't hear it.

Pulling back slightly I suck his lip into my mouth and nibble on it delighting in it's taste. Perfect… I've waited too long for this. I run my lips over his jaw his stubble scraping my tender skin. I nuzzle my face into his neck breathing in his subtle scent that I have known my entire life. Feeling his pulse fluttering against my lips as I dip my tongue into the hollow of his throat makes me moan.

Smiling I look down at him seeing how his confusion has grown but underneath it there is a growing sense of fear. "Shhhh," I whisper brushing my finger over his lips lightly. "I'm going to take care of you."

His eyes are screaming at me to stop but no sound issues from his mouth. I glance at the clock judging how long the drug is still going to hold him in its thrall. It looks like I can take my time and thoroughly enjoy myself. I cradle myself in the junction between his thighs letting him feell how hard I am. Starting with the top I start undoing his shirt button by button raining kisses down his chest as I go.

I pull open his shirt running my hands over the broad expanse of his chest. I rest my cheek against it for a moment loving the feel of his hair tickling my chin, the sound of his heartbeat drumming in my ears, and the irregular rise and fall as he struggles to breathe in his panic.

Holding his limp body up I remove his shirt tossing it to the side. He's not going to need that anymore. Considering him for a moment I try to decide how to pose him. Finally I take one of his arms and kiss his palm then tuck his hand under his head doing the same with the other one. "So beautiful," I trail a finger down the hair on his chest to where it disappears into his waistline.

His breath catches and I smile. The more I sense his fear the more turned on I get. Covering his body with mine I let him feel how hard I am imagining what he's thinking. Dipping my head I take his nipple into my mouth sucking hard and laving it gently with my tongue. I move on to the other one feeling them gradually turning into hard nubs. Tracing my fingers along his ribs I move slowly down tasting and exploring every inch of him, dipping my tongue into his navel.

I straddle him and watching his eyes carefully I undo his pants watching them flare with helpless anger. "You know what I'm going to do to you don't you," reaching into his jeans I begin to stroke him through his boxers. "You're beginning to realize that this isn't just a bad dream."

A single tear leaks out of his eyes laying a shining track down his cheek. I wipe it away and kiss his upturned lips. "This was inevitable, you know that don't you?" A soft grunt of denial issues from his lips. "It is meant to be."

I get up and slowly begin working his jeans and boxers down his legs. When he's stark naked I stand back and look at him for a long moment. His skin is faintly blue washed from the moonlight and I can see him faintly trembling in the dimness. He is utterly open for any kind of violation I wish to bring upon him.

"Damn I'm going to really enjoy this."

He whimpers softly as I crawl back on the bed between his open legs. "Relax you might enjoy it too." I take him into my mouth sucking on him hard taking my time and enjoying his unique taste. Soon he is fully erect and I can hear his breath come in harsh pants.

I bite the inside of his thigh and smile up at him. "See how well I know you? You like the forbidden… the taboo as much as I do." I run my tongue slowly up his shaft feeling him twitch. "I bet you can't wait to feel me hard in you… fucking you till you choke on my name."

Teasing his entrance with one finger I slowly push it into him watching his eyes. I'm too far away and it's too dark for me to really read them but it doesn't matter I know what's in them anyway. He's begging me to stop, telling me that it's wrong. He doesn't understand how I could do this to him… his own brother. But who else does he expect me to share this with other than him?

I add another finger taking the time to stroke him and stimulate his prostate as I stretch him. I don't want him to feel any pain. I want him to desire what I'm doing to him as much as he hates it. He is moaning softly helplessly before I'm done with him.

"You like that don't you," I whisper getting up and removing my clothes one by one. I can feel his eyes on me and I revel in it. "You like being penetrated. You never realized what a whore you were for it did you. It took me to show you. Well it only gets better from here big brother."

I clamber back on the bed straddling his head between my thighs. I see his eyes grow wide and I grin ferally. I slide myself between his lips moving slowly. I know he's never had a cock in his mouth before and I don't want him to choke. Groaning I thrust myself into his wet heat. His mouth is making convulsive swallowing motions driving me crazy. Knowing that what I'm doing is so bad I almost orgasm on the spot and I have to pull away before I do. That isn't where I want to spill my seed.

He is crying in earnest now tears sliding out of his eyes and dripping into the dark tangled mess of his hair. "Shhh," I whisper again. "It's going to be okay. I love you Matt. Can't you see that?"

I kiss him deeply then pull his legs up over my shoulders. Somehow he had managed to slide his hands free from under his head and they are lying useless by his sides. I position myself at his entrance and he makes a muttered sound of protest. Chuckling I push into him. Damn he's so tight and scorching hot. It's better than I ever imagined.

"Jeff… don't." He says raggedly. His hands clutch weakly onto my forearms.

"I already am." I move slowly, languidly losing myself in him and feeling him gradually come alive in my arms as the drug begins to wear off more.

Progressively my thrusts become harder and faster as he begins to struggle against me ineffectually. It just turns me on even more soon I'm slamming into him hard enough to shake the bed. He is moaning, writhing under me his eyes staring hot rage and desire.

"You hate this don't you. You hate the way I'm making you want me… want this. I should make you my little bitch… train you to accept me whenever I want you." I kiss him one last time stroking him hard. He's close… so close to surrendering.

"But you're never going to forgive me for this." I look at him and his eyes go huge as he reads my expression.

"Jeff… no," he gasps as I wrap my hands around his neck. Groaning I feel him cum all over our stomachs, hot and wet. His is contracting around me and my grip tightens convulsively on his throat. His hands claw desperately at my own and I can feel his erratic heartbeat fading as I ride out my pleasure holding onto him with everything that I have.

Afterwards I stroke his face. His head has lolled to the side and his eyes are wide open… staring. "Shhh everything is okay now," I whisper. "You're free." Gently I close his eyes and kiss his forehead. I get up and clean us off before crawling back next to him. I stroke his hair singing softly to him. "And all the kings horses and all the kings men couldn't put Matty back together again." Now no one can take him from me. He's mine and mine alone.

"Garden"

the direction of the eye
so misleading
the defection of the soul
nauseously quick

I don't question
our existence
I just question
our modern needs

I will walk...with my hands bound
I will walk...with my face blood
I will walk...with my shadow flag
into your garden
garden of stone

after all is done
we're still alone
I won't be taken
yet I'll go...

I will walk...with my hands bound
I will walk...with my face blood
I will walk...with my shadow flag
into your garden
garden of stone

I don't show...
I don't share...
I don't need
what you have to give...

"Present Tense"

do you see the way that tree bends?
does it inspire?
leaning out to catch the sun's rays
a lesson to be applied
are you getting something out of this all encompassing trip?
you can spend your time alone, redigesting past regrets, oh
or you can come to terms and realize
you're the only one who can't forgive yourself, oh
makes much more sense to live in the present tense
have you ideas on how this life ends?
checked your hands and studied the lines
have you the belief that the road ahead ascends off into the light?
seems that needlessly it's getting harder
to find an approach and a way to live
are we getting something out of this all-encompassing trip?
you can spend your time alone redigesting past regrets, oh
or you can come to terms and realize
you're the only one who cannot forgive yourself, oh
makes much more sense to live in the present tense