Chapter Three - October 31, 2003



The four men glanced at each other around the table, as if to ask, what now? A box sat in the middle of the round table, a box none of them was willing to open. Kevin finally sighed and reached for it.

"I guess I should be the one to do this, since Shawn always said I was the founder of the Clique, and since I was the one he told about it." He looked around to make sure none of them objected, the slipped the lid off the box, taking out a letter first. "This is addressed to the four of us. Do you guys want me to read it out loud?" The other three nodded, so he opened the envelope and slid out the pages inside, covered with Shawn's handwriting.



'April 25, 1998



Hunter, Kevin, Scott, and Sean; (alphabetical order, so no one can bitch!) -

If you guys are reading this, then obviously something's happened to me. Whatever it was, I'm sure I never got to tell you guys half the things you need to know, so that's what this is for. I'm sitting in the hospital as I write this, waiting for my surgery tomorrow. I guess that's what making me want to do this. Guys, I'm scared shitless, paranoid, as a matter of fact. I'm afraid this won't work…afraid to die. I'm only thirty-two...that's too young to die, right? Anyway, on with this. This box has things that I want each of you to have if something should happen to me. There are other things set aside for each of you, but those are private. This is for all four of you. If you're not all together now, don't go any further until you are.

First things first - the Clique. I love you all. You've all been there for me when I needed you the most, and I hope you'll do the same for each other now. You'll need to. I'm not going to tell you guys not to grieve for me…I know you will, and frankly, I'd hate to think you could take me dying in stride. But don't make a career out of it. Just remember me, and miss me once in a while, and I'll be satisfied. Now to the personal comments. Since I know Kev's got to be reading this, I think I'll save him for last.

Sean - I'll start with you and your hyper ass. Whether you know it or not, you're the glue that holds us together. Without you as peacemaker, I'm sure we'd have killed each other off long before now. You've been so much help to me over the past few months; because you know what pain is, and you know how damn hard it is to see that light at the end of the tunnel sometimes. I can see it now, but I wouldn't have gotten this far without you. Thank you. You've also always been there for me to talk to about things that no one else would understand. I'm sorry for the pain I've caused you by not being what you wanted me to be. Don't you dare pine for me, don't you dare...I'm not worth it. You'll find someone who deserves all your love someday. Don't waste it on me, Sean; please don't waste it on me. Don't let life get you down. The rest of us might bitch about your hyperactivity, but we really don't mind it. It reminds us of when we were young (well, younger in my case and in Hunt's) and had that kind of energy. Don't ever change, Kid. I love you.

Scotty - Ahh, chico. My favorite bad guy. You're Kev's rock, even though you think it's the other way around. Let him lean on you, because he won't lean on anyone else. Stay clean, man. I know life is hard, but the bottle...it just ain't worth it. Thank you for all the memories...that damn ladder match was the best match of my career. You helped make me what I am today. Do me a favor, a big one. You work with Bret now. Tell him I'm sorry, for whatever it's worth. Yeah, I knew. I should have screwed with it somehow - Vince would have let me get away with it. I would've if I'd had more time. He'll listen to an apology coming from you...he always did like you. Take care of Kev. If there were ever two people who were meant for each other, it's the two of you. Te amo, chico. Vaya con Dios, mi amigo, vaya con Dios.

Okay, so I lied. I'm not going to save Kev for last.

Kevin - My big brother. You taught me so much, about the business and about life. Thank you for helping me to not be afraid of who and what I am all those years ago, and thank you for being my first, in so many ways. You're the core of the Clique, big guy, it all started with you. Everyone says that the Clique dances to my drum, but you and I know that's a damn lie. They don't know what the Clique's about. We do. It's friendship, it's a brotherhood, and it's heart and soul. Don't ever lose sight of that. Keep Scotty happy. As long as he's with you, he doesn't need the bottle. You'll beat this demon eventually, all you need is love, and that's something you two have in abundance. It's been real, Kev. Always remember - this is not just convenience, this is for life. I love you, big guy.

And last, but definitely not least.

Hunter - My best friend. There's so much that I have to say to you, so much that I hope you'll understand. If you can't understand, then please just accept. Thank you for making the last year or two so much fun. I know I'll never look at bananas in the same way again. But seriously, now, it's your time to shine. Shrug off all the petty backstage bullshit and be who you are. Take that ball I dropped and shoot it for the stars, I know you can. While you're at it, take Mark and give him a good pounding. Big, clumsy bastard just had to drop me off cue. Stupid fucker. After you're done with him, go and give Steve an ass whooping too. Just for the hell of it, because he's a damn redneck. Take this business by the throat...or better yet, by the balls…and give it a good shake. You're the only one who can. Make your mark on it in bright neon green, buddy. Don't do it for me, though, do it for you. Take care of yourself. I love you.'

Kevin stopped for a moment, and all four men wiped away tears, not bothering to hide them. Hunter laughed shakily.

"Where the fuck is Mark? I'll beat his ass right now. Steve's too."

Scott grinned through the mist of tears in his dark eyes. "Funny how he said all that shit more than five years ago, and most of it's still relevant."

"Knock it off, you two, there's more." Kevin scolded them mildly, going back to the letter.

'There's some other letters in here that need to be given to the people they're addressed to, if possible. I know I can trust you guys to do that. Thank you for being there for me, guys. You were my family in every way that counted, and you all knew the real me better than anyone else. I'll miss you all.



Michael Shawn Hickenbottom.'



Kevin sighed as he folded the letter back up and slipped it into the envelope.

"That's all that he wrote for the four of us together. I'm going to make copies of it, so we can each have one, but I think Hunt should keep the original."

"Why me?" Hunter queried, puzzled.

"Shawn would have wanted you to. I know there's stuff he had set aside for each of us. Why don't we all go to bed for now, and come back here tomorrow, when we're not so exhausted. We're going to have to pack up his stuff, anyway." Kevin sighed wearily.

Read the Next Chapter of My Sacrifice by Melissa