Typical, he thought.

Typical that the one man he wanted more than anyone in his life was completely against every rule in the moral guidebook that came with society on the day that you were born. Fucking taboos. Why did they have to fit together so goddamn perfectly?

It pissed him off. For as long as he could remember, there had always been something to fuck up the good things in his life. There was always something to destroy the mood just when he thought everything was going fine. He remembered the night a year or so ago when a drunk driver had driven off-road and into his brand-new corvette; he woke up to the devastating sounds of destruction. Upon running downstairs, he'd found the two cars wrapped around a tree outside his home. He'd just brought the 'vette home that day.

Fucking typical.

He's not surprised that this happened; not surprised that he fell hard and fast for the unattainable. Annoyed is more like it. All he wanted was a stable relationship and someone to love. Was that so much to ask for? Did he really not deserve it? Forces beyond his control had allowed him to fall in love with the one person that could not give him what he wanted. Fate had fucked him over in every other possible way; why not love too? He was annoyed.

"Christ, will you get your ass out of bed already?"

Better idea, he thought. Why don't you get your ass into bed already? "Suck it, Matthew," He snapped instead. Rolling over, he buried his head deep beneath a mound of cotton pillows. Morning wood sucks; he wanted Matt bad. Leave now, or I will not be held accountable for my acts of violation against you and that gorgeous body of yours.

"You lazy shit. I thought we were going to the gym this morning."

He groaned and made a mental note to never again agree to anything involving strenuous activity before noon. As alluring as watching his brother's sweaty muscles expand and contract was, he was sure that he wouldn't make it through ten minutes of a workout.

"You went and got cocked with Shan again last night, didn't you?"

Cocked? He pondered the slamming headache that was consuming his mind and agreed that he must have thrown back quite a few. Whether or not it was with Shannon Moore was still up in the air; he made a second mental note to call the bastard a little later.

"Please don't ever say the word cock again," He grumbled, peeking out from beneath the pillows and getting burned with early morning sunlight. It turns me on far too much.

"What's the matter?" Matt rolled his eyes and grabbed his sac, shaking it spitefully toward him. "Jealous that you don't have one?"

"Fuck you," He burrowed deep beneath the sheets to keep from staring. Typical, he thought, that Matt would grab himself while he was thinking such blasphemous thoughts.

"So am I going alone then?"

The question paused him; it was almost enough to get him out of bed, knowing that Matt was going somewhere by himself. He almost wanted to get up. Then he remembered how his family had rented a huge boat to take him deep sea fishing for his sweet sixteen and it rained.

"I'm fuckin' trashed right now, dude."

Matt sighed angrily, throwing a Nerf football at his head. "You're such a dick. I need to find someone else to work out with."

"Can you please stop making references to my genitalia, please? It's too goddamn early. My head hurts."

"Dick, cock, cunt-slut, butt-fucker, faggot, dyke, cross-dressing gerbil fucker."

He rolled his eyes. "My brother; certainly the most mature human I'VE ever met in my life."

"Oh, please, Jeff. I can't even compare to your level of dumbass. Don't get me started."

"The joys of brother banter - certainly how I want to start my day," He snapped caustically. "As great as this is, I'D LIKE TO GO BACK TO SLEEP NOW. And then perhaps die."

"You said you'd go to the gym with me!" Matt whined. "I fuckin' hate going by myself, it's boring."

"Then stay here with me," He muttered, face crushed against the stark white mattress.

"What?"

He raised his face. "I said GET THE FUCK OUT, I'm tired."

Matt hesitated. "That's not what you said."

"It was close enough," He countered, wrapping his arms around his head and trying to block his ears. Please leave so that I can get out of bed without having to show you how bad I want you right now.

"Get up! You said you would go and you're fucking going." Never one to take orders, Matt approached the end of the bed and ripped the blankets from his unsuspecting body. Oh, fuck.

He groaned as Matt took in a long eyeful. "Nice dreams last night? Jesus, Jeff, you'll take an eye out."

"You're doing it again, you're talking about my genitalia," he tried to cover himself by rolling back over. Goddamn, I wish you would touch me just once.

"Jizz, come, semen, sperm, little fishes, nut sack, testes - "

"WILL YOU EVER JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP?" He all but screamed. "Why are you so mentally incapacitated this morning? Not enough fruit in your loops?"

Matt raised an eyebrow. "I think you just called me gay."

Ohh, if only. "I think I just told you that you're a fucking idiot and you need to get out of this room right now, before I gouge your eyes out with my hard-on."

"Well, what a lovely image that was," Matt's face crunched in disgust. "I think I'll leave you to take care of that."

"Well fuck," He smirked. "If I'd known all I had to do is whip it out to make you leave me alone, I would have done that years ago."

Matt rolled his eyes. "I hate being your brother."

He stopped, staring for a moment and pondering the implications of that statement. Fucking typical for Matt to say something that could be so easily manipulated in his mind. "I hate being your brother too."

"Well now that that's been settled," Matt smirked and slipped into the other bedroom to change.

He was left alone in the main room, thoughts of ravishing Matt's body into oblivion being cancelled out by the memory of being mugged for the Nirvana concert tickets he had spent $180 dollars on when he was fourteen. He just wanted something good in his life to work out for once; just one thing.

He groaned, slipping out of the bed. "I'm coming, asshole."

Read Part 2 of 4 of Michelle's Typical