Part 21

Shawn sighed quietly as he looked at Sean. He hadn't wanted it to come to this, but he didn't really have a choice anymore. Seemed like today was the day for unloading heavy secrets. When he and Hunter had split, he'd simply told the guys that they had realized they weren't right for each other and that they didn't want to talk about it. Hunter had gone along with his story, though they both knew it was much more than that. Shawn hadn't wanted to make life difficult for Hunter with the rest of the Clique because he really had loved the guy, at least until Hunter had said some things he couldn't just take back.

From that point, he hadn't hated Hunter, but he hadn't really wanted to spend any more time in his company than he'd had to either. Hunter on the other hand had good reasons for keeping his mouth shut. The other three members of the Clique would have handed him his ass...they still might, but Shawn wasn't going to cover for him anymore. The way it sounded every single one of them had been covering up for him or making excuses for him. If they had confronted him on some of the things he'd done, would it have stopped him from turning into the person he was now?

"I know that Hunter and I always kept the details of what happened that night to ourselves, but in light of what's been said here so far today...I think you all deserve to know the truth. I didn't know what Hunter's problem was that night...although after what Sean just said it's pretty clear what was up his ass. When we left the arena that night, he was in a really pissy mood. I thought it was kind of odd since he should have been on top of the world with being the Heavyweight Champ for the first time. We went out, had a few drinks, and his mood steadily got worse. Finally I'd had enough of watching him drown himself with booze so I talked him into going back to the hotel. That was around two in the morning. When we got there, he took the belt out of his bag and just looked at it for about ten minutes, but he looked nowhere near happy."

"Finally it got to me, just sitting there watching him, not saying a word. So I told him that I was really proud of him for winning the belt and I was sure it was just the first time of many. He didn't look at me, just sat there with that irritating smirk on his face while he looked at the belt. After about five minutes more, he looked at me, and the look on his face gave me chills. I could tell he was really pissed off about something, but I still had no clue what it might be. That's when he started yelling at me. I know I just sat there with my mouth wide open wondering what in the hell had set him off. I'm going to paraphrase what he said because, honestly, I've tried to forget most of it. There's some of it that I just can't forget though no matter what I do." Shawn slowly rubbed his hand across his eyes and focused on the floor, his other hand wrapped tightly with Chris'.

"He said that he didn't care if I was proud of him. That he'd had to work long, hard hours to get where he was...that he'd had the talent and finally they had recognized that he had what it took. He said he was World Champion material, unlike some people that hadn't deserved it. He said that the reason he didn't care if I was proud was because I was one of those people. That I had made champion was because I had the pretty boy look and was in the right place at the right time. He said there were only two reasons I got my hands on the belt. The first was that Vince liked the talent I had on my back and the second was that Bret liked pretty boys on their knees...that if I hadn't whored myself out, I would never have gotten the title. Then he said since I still seemed to have whore tendencies, if I wanted to show him my talents again he'd try to get Vince to let me have the title next." Shawn tried to surreptitiously wipe the tears from his face, but it was obvious that he had been crying. He felt Chris' hand squeeze gently around his and looked up at his lover.

"You know none of that's true Shawn. I know it hurts that he said it, but don't let what he said reduce you to tears, Precious. He's just not worth shedding them over." Chris said quietly, then he lifted their twined hands and gently placed a kiss to the back of Shawn's knuckles. Shawn could see that Sean had heard what Chris had said to him and the brunet was vigorously shaking his head in agreement.

Shawn took a deep breath and looked over at Scott and Kevin. They both looked rather livid and he knew he'd better finish his explanation before the explosion or he'd never get it all out. "After he said that last bit, I finally managed to shake off my shock and move. I started throwing my stuff in a bag and I didn't plan to say a word, I just wanted to get out of there. When I started towards the door, he stood up and blocked the doorway. I told him to move and he told me I wasn't going anywhere. He thought I should get down on my knees and show him how much I loved him." Shawn coughed a bit, clearing his throat but hurrying on before anyone could say anything else.

"I told him that at that particular moment I didn't love him and if I ended up down on my knees, he would end up a couple inches shorter in a real sensitive place. He just glared at me. The next thing I knew he had nailed me upside the head with the belt...not hard enough to knock me out, but enough to daze me. We rolled around on the floor for a few minutes, destroyed some furniture, made a lot of noise...finally I got tired of it and nailed him with a knee in the nuts. I rolled him off me and told him that we were through and that if he came near me again I'd hurt him bad enough that he'd get in the ring again. I grabbed my bag and left. I thought about going to stay with Sean, but I called Vince instead and told him I needed some time off. He didn't have a problem with it, so I went to the airport and hopped on the first plane home."

A loud crash drew the eyes of the three sitting together to Kevin and the pile of kindling in the middle of the room that had once been the coffee table. Scott was still sitting on his couch, looking at Kevin with a brow raised. Kevin was unaware of it though as he was glaring at Shawn.

Shawn grimaced comically, trying to lighten the mood. "Ya know, I really liked that table."

Chris caught on quickly to what he was trying to do and decided to add his own two cents. "So did I." He grinned at Shawn and wiggled his eyebrows. "It was a very useful table. That was impressive though Shawn. Not as good as the job I did on your room the other night, but..."

"Enough!" Kevin's roar put an end to any ideas of lightening the mood. "Damn it, Shawn. Why the hell did you let him get away with that? You know we would have..."

"Yeah, Kev. I know what you would have done. That's why I didn't say anything. You all knew that I loved him. Even after what he said I didn't hate him, not really...but I couldn't stand the sight of him either. Just the thought of being around him made me sick to my stomach. He called the next day to apologize. He said he was drunk and that he hadn't meant to say what he said, but never once did he say that he didn't think what he'd said was the truth. I couldn't face him knowing that he actually thought that way about me. Beating the hell out of him wouldn't have changed that. He still would have been there to face and that was something I needed to do on my own. Besides, just because I was pissed at him, it didn't mean you all needed to be too."

A burst of mirthless laughter from Sean drew all the eyes in the room towards him. They all noticed the tears streaming down Sean's face, but not one of them knew what had prompted them. Sean swiped at his eyes and Chris, who had been able to feel the tremors shaking through Sean's body, had pulled one hand from his waist to stroke his arm in comfort. As the choked laughter tapered off to something closer to gasping sobs Chris returned to holding Sean and leaned in to whisper soothingly to him. The others couldn't hear what he said, but they were mostly in shock anyway. Sean just wasn't the kind of guy to break down like that. It took a hell of a lot to crack that bouncy, happy-go-lucky exterior. Each of them unknowingly had the same thought...Sean looked broken. What the hell had they all missed that had led to this?

As Sean finally managed to get himself under control, he nodded slightly as something Chris was saying to him. He lifted his head to look at the other men in the room with a cynical smile. "Christ...sorry about that," he said, his voice scratchy and rough. "Chris was right you know. Every single one of us has been protecting him or covering for him for a long time. There were things we should have called him on, even if it was just amongst ourselves. Maybe if we had beaten the hell out of him a half dozen times it would have stopped him from becoming the power-hungry, controlling bastard that he is now. I don't know..."

Sean paused for a moment and then turned to look at Shawn. "I'm glad you didn't come to my room that night Shawn, because that's the first place he came looking for you and his mood hadn't improved one damn bit, if anything it was worse."

Read Chapter Twenty Two of Undelivered