Whatever remaining delusions Jared may have harbored for the enduring innocence and cuteness that was Jensen Ackles lasted all of three days before the Cookie Nazi stepped in. Or Jensen was possessed by some malicious demonic force, Jared hadn't decided. His sweet, fluffy, downright adorable lover had a (not so) endearing habit of allowing his cats free range of the apartment, and if that wasn't a recipe for disaster, nothing was. It would be all right if Sadie and Harley weren't completely petrified by the two pintsized fur-balls, but the fact that his pets were getting bitch-slapped by two freaking cats was an insult to his manhood, damnit.

"It's not funny, Jen." Jared growled, trying to look both authoritarian and understanding when his two babies were practically pouting up at him, big, soulful eyes almost as destructive as Jensen's.

Jensen continued to chuckle, absently scratching Cliché's ears whilst the damn cat purred, far too smug for a lump of fluff smaller than Jared's hand. For once Jared took advantage of Jensen's deafness. He waited until his back was turned, then glared down at the cat. "Minute Jen's not in the room, it's straight to the violin factory for you, ya hear?" He threatened, finger pointed and everything.

Jensen turned, bemused smile light in his eyes, and Jared quickly forced a bright grin. He scratched the cat's head, and only grimaced a little when sharp white teeth sunk into his knuckle.

A small ceramic dish was placed on the table, and the antichrist of cats bounced over, smugly lapping up the cream Jensen had set down. When Jensen sweetly but firmly turned down Jared's attempt at nookie (not now, Jay, I can't bake cookies and suck you off at the same time-Jared so totally bet he could) the cat purred louder than a B52 at take off.

Sadie and Harley cowered under the table. "War." Jared hissed at the cat, sidestepping enough to allow Jensen access to the baking cupboard. "This means war, kitty."

******

Now in all wars there were casualties. Jared accepted this as fact. If he had to fuck information from the enemy, it was one sacrifice he was willing to make. He'd take one for the team, as it were.

If the enemy happened to be a scantily clad, freckle faced, tight assed beauty, well there was no rule against enjoying one's work. Jared was a big boy. He'd accept victory when it came.

*****

So Jensen wasn't the type of guy who screamed 'fuck me, fuck me, yeah, harder baby fuck my ass,' but he wasn't exactly a shrinking violet, either, and when it came to the intricacies of cock-ass acrobatics, he could run rings around Jared. Added to what Jared considered the totally unfair advantage Jensen's pretty face gave him, it usually meant that sex resulted in a fair few casualties of war. This battle's collateral was set to be a cushion, Jensen's slacks, and Jared's knees.

With his head thrown back, his mouth open wide, and practically every inch of his body trembling beneath Jared, it was possible that Jensen was already dead, in which case yay, battle won. Then his long fingers pressed bruises bone deep into Jared's shoulders and his hips lifted off the bed. Really, Jared was beginning to think that the only safe way for them to have sex was for one of them to be tied down to a sturdy surface. On the one hand, yes, fun, but not really Health and Safety approved.

The problem usually arose when Jensen decided to exercise his ability to make Jared beg (in all forms). One week, two week…Jared would have his sweet, caring Jensen in bed with him. They'd snuggle and pet and make love slowly beneath the covers…

And then out of the blue, bam, Jensen jumped him in the hallway/shower/kitchen/car park/trailer/between takes on a set visit- and if anything could be hotter than Sam freaking Winchester pushing Jensen down onto the couch and fucking him raw, Jared had yet to see it. It was mildly concerning, or would be, if Jared could gather enough brain cells to formulate an idea beyond sex good. Most of the time it was simply a case of hanging on to something solid and hoping his dick was still attached by the time Jensen was done with him.

That wasn't a complaint, mind you. He was perfectly capable of turning the tables.

Jensen whined when Jared caught his wrists and pinned them down to the bedding. He wriggled and squirmed until Jared pushed himself balls deep into his ass, then settled back with a whimper and a sigh. Somewhere between foreplay and fucking, they had managed to remove all items of clothing except for one of Jensen's blue angora socks, and the huge red sweater Jensen had pulled on that morning. The sweater was Jared's and if it was two sizes too big for him, it threatened to drown Jensen in fabric. Jared grabbed and handful and tugged it over Jensen's head, leaving his arms tangled in the folds of fabric.

With his own hands free to wander, Jared hitched on of Jensen's long legs over his shoulder and pressed the other smooth thigh down to the mattress.

They fucked so hard they probably needed a new bed, and Jensen screamed Jared's name so fucking prettily in the end.

None of that mattered, because the minute Jared's pulled his dick from Jensen's ass, the damn cat was there, sitting in the doorway, complete with the expression of a scolding parent.

Jensen went off to sleep like a light. Jared spent the evening contemplating the merits of buying a mouse, just to keep the fucking cats occupied.

*****

The first incriminating photo arrived the following morning. Jared always got up later than Jensen, and was used to waking to an empty bed. The Polaroid sat on Jensen's pillow, and was decidedly (and disappointingly) devoid of porn.

There he was, zonked out on the bed, with Sooty the snow-white cat curled over his neck like some fluffy bdsm collar, whilst Cliché had curled herself into a ball on his belly. Sadie and Harley were dozing contentedly at his feet.

Fucking conspiracy, that's what it was!

*****

They had fallen into a regime pretty quickly. Jensen cooked, Sam cleaned, Jared worked, and somewhere in between, they all met in the middle. It had been a while since Jared had shared a house with anyone, and he had been surprised how easily everything had panned out. Even when Jensen was at his worst, Jared felt less conflicted than he once had. He knew exactly where Jensen was and better, every morning he would be home and he could wrap himself around the man he loved and be reassured that Jensen was okay.

So it should really have been no surprise when his perfect little world came crashing down around him.

*****

Saturday, and Jared had been content to spend all morning in bed with Jensen. They had cuddled and made love, and watched kid's cartoons on the TV over a muffin and juice breakfast. Sometime around noon, Jensen had dragged him to their shower, and a little under an hour later, he sat down to answer a week's worth of emails.

Jensen had a date.

"You know my number if anything happens?" Jared bit his lip and glared at Marc.

Marc rolled his eyes and stuffed his hands into the pockets of his beat up kaki jacket. "No, dude, I just guessed what number to text you on this morning."

"Sorry." Jared muttered, shamefaced as Jensen bustled around the room, throwing keys and wallet and phone into various pockets of his jackets and jeans. There was a considerable spring in his step, and Jared couldn't help but smile….and be really fucking curious. He wasn't allowed on Jensen's little shopping trip, and for once, Marc was being remarkably tightlipped.

"I'll have you know that thanks to Sam I am now a fully qualified First Aid type person." Marc said proudly. "I'm even qualified to give CPR to any hit and run rabbits that Chad might injure on any future road trips."

"That is gross." Jared grimaced, but nodded in agreement. Sam had given them both a crash course in dealing with any and every medical complication or malady Jensen's illness might try and throw at them. It had helped.

"Bye!" Jensen grinned brightly, kissing him on the lips. "I'll bring back candy."

Jared didn't care if Marc was in the room - the bastard was family anyway- he wrapped an arm around Jensen's lean hips, holding him close for a deeper embrace. "Love you." He whispered into Jensen ear, pretending as he did every time that Jensen could hear the words.

With a final peck on the cheek, Jensen pulled back and bounded down the stairs, Marc on his tail. A quick, meaningful glance from Marc promised Jared that his buddy would bring Jensen back in one piece, hopefully with gifts, and then they were gone.

*****

Emails. Jared answered emails. All three hundred and twelve of them, minus the two hundred and ninety eight that were spam. The whole thing took half an hour, and then Jared started to get board.

"Stop twitching." Sam warned him as she dusted the bookshelf across the room.

"M'not." Jared muttered. His cell phone rang, and he snatched it up, flipping open the screen before he even looked at the caller ID. "Hello?"

"I've done something really stupid."

It took almost a full minute to recognize the sound of the caller. Jared's brain tripped over names until a red light started to flash.

"Dave?" He'd not spoken to David in months. Not since the club in LA. Not since he and Jensen had….aw hell….

"I was just so fucking angry, I didn't…I shouldn't have…I'm sorry, okay?"

Before Jared could issue so much as a 'huh?' he was met with dial tone.

Okay…and Weird Moment of the Month Award goes to…

He didn't have to wait long. Five minutes later, his cell rang again, Marc this time, sounding as angry as Jared had ever heard him. "We have a serious fucking problem."

This time Jared did get chance to respond. "What's wrong?" he asked, instantly thinking of Jensen and automatically assuming the worst.

His landline rang. Sam answered it. 'It's Henry,' she mouthed. His agent. Fuck. Fuck.

"The press is what happened, man. They're fucking everywhere." Marc snapped coldly, and Jared's heart sank. He held out his hand for the phone Sam was holding, picking up Harry's calm and steady stream of advice halfway through.

"Jen okay?" he asked, knowing how painfully shy Jensen was at the best of times. Jared could count on the one hand how many times Jensen had ventured out of the apartment since they had moved in. Even with Jared's gentle coaxing it was difficult to persuade him to leave the safety of his own home.

Why the fuck he hadn't let Jared go with him this one time he did….

Marc's voice rapidly dropped from angry to worried. "I don't know. They mobbed us, we got separated. I'm sorry Jay, I'll find him." Jared knew Marc well enough to know his word was his bond. He also know him well enough to recognize the guilt in his voice.

"Jesus." Jared whispered. "Oh God."

"He's a grown man," Marc encouraged. "He'll be fine."

'Jared, Jared, are you listening?' Henry demanded, his voice quiet from the other line.

"Find him." Jared demanded of Marc. Sam had already thrown her coat and shoes on, her bright yes almost ferociously cold. To Henry, he said, "I'll call you back." He hung up before Henry could say anything further. "Sam, call Mike and Tom, tell them…I dunno, just get them over here. Tom might be out, so speak to Jamie." Sam nodded and started working her way through the phone's digital address book.

Damnit, but Jensen shouldn't be able to make Jared so damned scared…

Jared jammed his feet into the battered sneakers by the door, Eric on speed dial for damage control.

First he had to find Jensen. Anything else could be dealt with, and once Jared had him safely home and buried under a small mountain of blankets, he was going to rip David apart with his bare hands.

Read Part Twenty The Smile when you tore me apart in the Louder Than Words 'Verse by SplashPink