One:

Five years of working on an incredible show, and it's finally over. He never thought it would hit him so hard, but it has. Maybe it's all the freedom he will have now that it's done. He's got scripts coming to him left and right, but he needs a break for a while. He could really use a break from life-from reality.

He sighs as he brings the shot glass to his lips and knocks it back, and then he hears that laugh. That familiar, infectious laugh that always makes him smile, even when it's breaking his heart. He should have known better, getting so close to his co-star, becoming his best friend. It's never that easy. Never that simple. Something always complicates things, and nothing is more complicated than six foot forever Jared Padalecki.

Jensen Ackles signals for another shot of whiskey as he looks away from Jared, who's got his arm slung around Sandy, his wife, her bubbly laughter carrying almost as loudly as Jared's. He knocks back his second shot and thinks back to six months ago. Jared had asked him to be best man at the wedding, and who had Jensen been to refuse? They were best friends after all.

It turned out really badly. Well, the wedding was fine, and so was the reception until Jensen decided, for the first time in years, to actually get drunk. Luckily he handled the best man's speech before he started drinking. He'd ended up in the bathroom, where Michael Rosenbaum, of all people, had found him and decided to take pity on him for once. Instead of playing some kind of prank on him, Mike had taken him home, laid him out on the couch and let him sleep it off.

Now Jensen finds himself at this series finale party, a real milestone in his career. He stops after the second shot, because he won't get drunk like at Jared's wedding ever again. He pulls back from the bar and looks around the room. He sees Mike talking to Chad Michael Murray, and just knows that trouble is brewing. Jensen is still amazed by the friendship Jared has with Chad, but somehow there is someone who can put up with all of Chad's bullshit. All the more power to Jared, who is apparently going for sainthood.

Jen heads toward Mike, because he can always tell Chad to go take a hike if he needs to. Chad's really had it in for him since Jared's wedding, because Jensen was chosen as best man over him. Jensen could care less about the small fry.

Mike looks up at Jen and smiles at him, claps him on the back and says, "So, Jenny, what are you gonna do with yourself now? Got any big time movie deals in the works?"

"Actually, I was thinking about joining Steve and Chris on tour. You know just a change of scene, a different kind of distraction, and I don't mind the traveling, might be fun," Jensen replies with a shrug, as Chad lets out a huff and goes in search of Jared, booze, and underage girls.

"A change of scene might do you some good, man. I mean, working with the guy for five years and all that shit you're carrying for him, and then to have him ask you to be his best man? Hell, it's gotta sting a little."

"I was that obvious?" Jensen asks.

"Not so much, but you talk a lot when you're drunk, and anyone with eyes could see the tension between you two. I mean how Jay can't see it is beyond me! A blind man could pick up on it," Mike says with a shrug and takes a sip of the martini in his hand.

"Jay's got Sandy, and he's happy. Hell, look at him, and she's good for him. She keeps him smiling."

"And it's killing you that you think you'd be better for him," Mike points out, and Jensen hates him for it.

He hates even more that it's true.

"Not like it matters now. And hey, I'll catch up with you later. I'm gonna go talk to Jay for a few minutes and head on home. Got an early flight out to Tennessee tomorrow."

Mike raises his eyebrows at that and shakes his head. "Wow, someone sure is in a hurry to get away. It gets to you that much?"

"And then some," Jensen mumbles under his breath as he cuts through the crowd of people sending a nod of acknowledgement to Eric Kripke and Kim Manners before he finally reaches his destination.

He almost wishes he had a drink in his hand to build up his courage a little more to say goodbye to Jared, because this time it's going to be final. He's done wanting Jared Padalecki, because it's killing him, and it's time he lets go. Hell, the man is married for Christ sakes, and Sandy really is a sweet girl.

Jared's face lights up as soon as Jensen claps a hand to his shoulder. "Hey man! Where you been hiding? I was 'bout to go lookin' for ya!"

"Just knocked back a little whiskey at the bar. Anyway, thought I'd come over to tell you good night," Jensen says, and he wants to take it back, because this is it, the last goodbye, and all he can get out is good night.

"You mean you're leaving? But the party's only just gettin' started! Come on! You can stay for a little while!" Jared says.

Jen pulls away and straightens up, he fidgets with his shirt and shakes his head. "Nah, I have a flight in the morning. I gotta go."

"A flight? Where you going? Finally decided on a script?" Sandy pipes up from Jared's side, and Jensen takes in a sharp breath against the stab in his chest.

"No, I'm heading to Tennessee to join Steve and Chris on tour. Just gonna take some time off. I mean hell, been working steady for five years, a little time off ain't gonna kill me," Jensen says and his gut hollows out at his words, but he ignores the feeling.

"Sure man, and hey, I can walk you out to your car. I mean who knows the next time we'll see each other," Jared says and then turns to Sandy, "Hey baby, hold my drink. I'll be right back."

He pecks her on the cheek and Jensen turns away, then Jared's arm is clapped across his shoulders and the two of them are walking out of the party and to the parking lot. Jensen knows it's wrong, but he enjoys the feel of Jared's arm against him. It's probably as close as he'll ever get to having Jared. It's not nearly enough, and he swallows thickly as they near the car, and he can't help wondering what's up with Jared, because he hasn't said a single word, and usually the trick is getting him to shut up.

Jensen takes his keys out of his pocket and Jared pulls his arm away. With the arm gone, cold seeps into Jensen.

"So wow, this is really it. We've been doing this for five years. It's been a great run, but it feels so final. I mean… I don't want to just let this be goodbye. We're friends and you're gonna keep in touch, right? I wanna hear from you. Email, your cell. Hell, I'll probably be callin' all the time," Jared says, and just starts in on a ramble.

Jensen closes his eyes, and takes in a breath, but everything Jared's saying is washing over him and it's going to end him, here and now. He knows it. So he leans forward, presses his lips against Jared's still moving mouth. He lingers there for a few moments, and then he pulls back, slowly opening his eyes. Jared looks stunned. Jen gives him a small, sad smile, unlocks his car door, gets in the car and as he closes the door he whispers, "Goodbye Jay, take care man."

Jensen turns the engine over, puts the car in gear and leaves. He doesn't look back in the rearview mirror because he knows that Jared is still standing there with that stunned look on his face. It was wrong, Jensen knows this, but as he brushes his fingers across his lips he could care less. At least Jared knows now why it feels like goodbye.

----------

He stands there watching the car until the taillights finally disappear. A chill slips up his spine as he brings his hand up to his face, lightly tracing over his lips with his fingers, wondering if he'd just been imagining things, or if Jensen really had kissed him.

His stomach is in knots and he's at a loss for what to do. The look in Jensen's eyes as he got into the car and said that last goodbye. How long had he not seen it? Jared swallows thickly and looks toward the building behind him, where the party is still going strong, but he doesn't feel much like partying anymore. After a kiss like that, so simple, but with so much need behind it. Something so real… How can he go back to partying after that?

He reaches in his pocket, finds his keys and heads for his truck. He gets behind the wheel, turns the engine over and pulls out, because he can't go back to that party. Not when he's this confused. He can't face Sandy after that kiss from Jensen. He takes in a shuddering breath and just drives.

He wriggles around, pulls his cell phone out of his pocket and makes a call.

"Jay? What the hell man? Where are you? You didn't run off and leave the party with Jenny did you?" and Jared can't stand how Chad says Jensen's name with such discontent.

"Jen just told me goodbye, and look man, I can't talk about it right now. Think you can take Sandy home for me? I would, but… I just got a lot on my mind right now."

"What did that asshole do, Jay? Because this ain't like you."

"Nothing. Just… Just take my wife home for me, okay?" Jared says and hangs up, drops the phone in the passenger seat and drives. Driving has always been good at clearing his head.

Jared is frustrated when an hour later he finds himself parking behind Jensen's car in the driveway. He didn't think he'd end up here. He cuts the engine and then grips the steering wheel until his knuckles turn white. He looks up at the house, knowing Jensen's things are all in storage, the only thing left is the bed, and Jensen's luggage, because Jensen is just organized like that.

The house is dark, and Jensen is probably asleep. He sits in his truck, the engine off. He leans the seat back and let's out a sigh as he looks up at the roof of his truck, his mind lost in Jensen Ackles and that simple kiss that felt so final.

He isn't sure how long he's been in his truck, but someone's knocking on the glass and there's a crick in his neck. He jumps a little and turns to the window to see Jensen giving him a strange look. Jay cranks up the truck and rolls down the window.

"What are you doing here, Jay? And how long have you been here?" he asks.

Jared nibbles on his bottom lip for a moment and then answers, "I never went back to the party. And why'd you kiss me dude? How long you felt like that?"

"It doesn't matter. You're married, Jay, and last night was goodbye. Now I need to get to the airport, man. Flight leaves soon."

"Wait…" Jared begins and then sighs. "How about I drive you to the airport? I'll get your car taken care of later, but we can't just leave things hanging. I've got plenty of gas in the truck, and it's not out of my way or anything."

"Yeah, it kinda is outta of the way, and what about Sandy?"

"Chad took her home. Please Jen?" Jared pleads and whips out the puppy dog eyes, knowing full well Jensen is as defenseless against them as Dean was.

Jensen lets out a curse, and then he's dropping his bags in the back of Jared's truck. Jared can't help the smile on his face as Jensen slams the passenger door shut and glares at him.

"Happy now, asshole?"

Jared chuckles a little and backs the truck out of the driveway. He keeps glancing at Jensen, and finally Jensen can't stand it.

"What?!"

"I don't know," Jared says with a shrug as he makes a turn. "You tell me. You were the one kissing me."

"Nothing to tell. You're married and I'm leaving," Jensen says, crossing his arms over his chest, and Jared would be amused if he weren't so annoyed and frustrated over Jensen's stubbornness.

"So what, that was just some last parting shot? God, Jen, you're gonna leave it like this between us and run off to go drink and tour with Christian Fucking Kane and Steve Carlson? It doesn't work like that. You can't just kiss someone and pretend it didn't happen!"

"Fuck you, Jay! I don't give a damn what you think! This isn't about you. It's about me being stupid enough to let myself get close to someone again, okay? I thought it was okay, you know, just being your friend, but you're so damn touchy feely and always in my space, but I didn't really mind it. Look, I'm not going into this with you now. Hell, you'll be lucky if I ever bring this up over my dead body!" Jensen snaps, and by then they've reached the airport.

Jared pulls up at the entrance, and Jen gets out of the truck, Jared reaches after him, grabs the sleeve of Jensen's shirt. Jen yanks his hand away as Jared says, "I'm sorry," and slams the door.

Jared watches as Jensen snatches his bags from the back and heads into the airport. Jared looks down and sees a single blue string from Jensen's sleeve. He takes his wallet out of his back pocket, puts the string into one of the photo sleeves, where he keeps a picture of him and Jen that Mike took one day. He takes in a deep breath, lets it out in a sigh, puts the wallet back in his pocket, spares the airport one last glance, and then he pulls away from the curb.

"I'm really sorry, Jen," he whispers as he cuts back into traffic, his stomach in more knots now than from the night before.

----------

The flight is long and by the time his plane lands he's exhausted and tired of having Jared on his mind. The plane does finally land by the grace of God and he finds himself walking down the terminal, then he's at baggage claim. Soon he's walking out of the airport and there's Christian Kane, leaning back on an old Ford pick-up, a straw cowboy hat hanging low over his eyes, and looking like he could care less that he's there to pick someone up.

Jensen tosses his bags in the back of Christian's truck, and Chris pushes himself off the side of the truck, rounds the front of it, and then gets behind the wheel. Jensen slips into the passenger seat, and sighs, leans his head back, and Chris decides to be his usual annoying self.

"So how'd it go leaving the Sasquatch behind?"

"Fuck you."

"Ain't that some pretty talk now? Damn son, I'm only askin' cause I care."

"You just want to know if I tried to fuck him before I left, right? Is that it?" Jen asks.

Chris shrugs. "Well yeah, as your current best friend I think I'd be the one you'd tell, right?"

Jensen rolls his eyes and Chris pulls into traffic. Jensen lets his head rest against the wind as Chris drives, and Chris turns on the radio, country music fills the cab of the truck and Jensen huffs out a sigh, but he prefers the music to Chris trying to get details out of him. There's nothing really juicy to tell, just that kiss, and it was barely a brush of lips.

The drive's not that long to Chris' house outside of Nashville. Jensen is relieved when they finally get there. He pulls his bags out of the back and goes inside. He hears a melody being strummed on a guitar coming from the living room. He smiles at the thought of seeing Steve again. He drops his bags in the doorway of the living room and takes a seat in the recliner by the couch. Steve looks up from his guitar with a smile and in that scratchy voice of his says, "Hey, Jen, how're things?"

"Pretty fucked up, man," Jen answers, and Steve looks up at the sound of a cap being twisted off of a bottle of beer.

He takes one of the bottles offered and Jen gets the other, and Chris sits down next to Steve and says, "Well, damn son, you'd tell Steve, but not me? Swear you're a mopey bastard the whole drive and then you open up to Steve and leave me hangin' out to dry. It ain't right man."

"Who the hell asked you, Chris, and just let the man talk. Fuck, if you'd shut up long enough maybe he'd tell ya."

"Last night at the party, I left early. Jay walked me out to my car, and then he started talking about keeping in touch and he wouldn't shut up, so I leaned up and kissed him. Then I just took off before he could say anything else. I woke up this morning and the fucker's in my driveway and offering to take me to the airport, so I let him, because I didn't want to miss my flight, and we got into this fight, and I just left. I fucked things up though. I mean who kisses their married best friend and then just takes off like that? And he just wouldn't quit, like he just had to know what I felt for him."

"I think you kissing him might have given him the right to ask questions, Jen. You did lay some pretty heavy shit on him," Steve cuts in.

"And you don't think I know that? I couldn't help it, and I won't regret it. I mean it wasn't even a big deal. I kissed him, so what? It was just my mouth against his. He's married, why should it matter to him how I feel about him?"

"So you're in that deep, huh? You always do go for the hard to get ones," Chris says with a shake of his head.

Jensen snorts and takes a long pull from his beer. "I didn't really know till he asked me to be his best man, and it just sort of killed me. But he's happy, so I should let it go. I mean it's the right thing to do."

"Doesn't stop it from hurting like a bitch though."

"Not helping, jackass," Steve tosses in Chris' direction.

Chris shrugs. "I just call 'em how I see 'em."

Jensen lets out a snort and then takes another pull from his beer. Maybe this touring thing wasn't such a bad idea after all. Anything that would put distance between him and Jared is a good thing at this point, even if that includes putting up with Christian Fucking Kane and Steve's very impressive logical way of looking at things.

---------

It's been nearly two months since the night of the series finale party, and Jared's emailed Jensen and called nearly every day. He's left tons of messages, a word of the day, a joke, a funny story about what happened on set. He's even ranted, raved, and yelled, and begged to have Jensen call him back. Jensen never does.

Jared has to hear about Jensen from Michael Rosenbaum. It drives Jared crazy.

Jared picks up his cell phone and punches in Mike's number. Mike answers after the fourth ring, and says, "He's still not taking your calls, huh, Paddywhack?"

"How is the jackass?"

"He's all right. He asked me how you were doing. He heard you finished working on that little Indie film of yours, and he says he can't wait to see it, because he knows you'll blow everybody away like you always do. Oh and he kicked Christian Kane's ass the other day because he referred to you as a cock knocking, gigantor son of a bitch."

"So he's doing good?"

"Yeah, Jay. He's all right. He's pretty much Steve's roadie now. Steve's dragged him out for a couple of sets though. I think they just gave Jen a couple of beers for bravery, but he did good. I went to the Steve and Kane concert in Albany. It wasn't half bad."

"He say anything about me aside from asking how I was?"

"Why don't you try calling him again, Jay? I'm kinda getting tired of being the go between. He's wearing down, man. I bet he'll start answering your calls again. God knows you leave enough messages and missed calls for him."

Jared has the good grace to blush at that and then he tells Mike bye and presses the end button on the phone.

He sits back on the couch, puts his feet on the coffee table next to the latest script his agent sent him and plays with the phone in his hands. After a few minutes he sighs and says, "What the hell?"

He can get his daily Jensen call out of the way before Sandy comes home from her second callback.

He takes in a breath, looks down at his phone and dials Jensen's number. Jared actually holds his breath as it rings, once, twice, a third time.

"Jay?"

Jared's heart flutters and the knots tighten in his stomach a little. "Jen? Don't hang up."

Jensen chuckles and the knots in Jared's stomach loosen and he smiles at the sound of that familiar chuckle.

"Been a while. How are things in LA?"

"Pretty good man, the dogs are happy to be in the warm California air, I'm getting tons of scripts in the mail. It's pretty cool. Me and Sandy even went surfing the other day. I miss you though. Hell, I miss seeing you everyday," Jared says, and he wonders if Jensen can hear how much he misses him in his voice.

"I know what you mean," Jen says, and then Jared hears a muffled voice followed by Jen snapping, "Dammit Chris, shut the fuck up already! Don't make me come over there!"

Jared laughs and Jen comes back on the line. "Sorry, man, you know how it is."

"Yeah, Christian Fucking Kane is an asshole, what else is new?"

It feels good hearing Jensen laugh again, and Jared's careful to avoid mentioning the kiss, even as he fingers his mouth and brightens at the sound of Jensen laughing over Steve bitching out Chris. He's probably on the phone with Jen for a good half hour, and those knots in his stomach are gone by the time he hangs up. He lets out a sigh, and gets up. He lifts his shirt to his nose, blanches, and decides on taking a shower.

----------

"Shit man! Steve! It looks like Jenny's fucking glowing! Bet he just got off the phone with the Sasquatch!" Chris says, and Jensen is very tempted to get Chris' ass kicking of the day over with.

"Fuck off, Chris," Steve says in Jensen's defense, and Jensen is reminded once again why he's friends with Steve. The jury's still out on why they put up with Kane.

Steve looks up from his guitar and cocks his head at Jensen. "So things finally cool between you and Jay?"

Jen smiles and gives a nod. "Yeah, I think so."

There's not much after that except everyone is flung forward as the driver slams on the breaks. There's the sound of screeching tires, screaming, crumpling metal and there's the fire of something sharp and cold being forced through Jensen's right side and he thinks he might be screaming, but it's all a blur.

When he opens his eyes he's flat on his back, a sharp piece of metal wedged into his right side, he's having a hard time breathing and he's staring up at the floor of the bus. Talk about his world getting turned upside down.

He hears a cough and suddenly Chris is kneeling down next to him, his eyes wide, his long hair falling around his face, and he's saying, "Hold on, Jen. Steve's got your phone. He's calling for help. You just gotta hold on for us. Hell, we ain't that far from Richardson and we got that gig in Dallas tomorrow night and we were gonna go out with your parents for dinner, remember? So you're fine. You'll be fine."

Jensen tries to lift his head, but it's too heavy, and Chris looks up and yells at Steve, "Christ! Can't you tell them to hurry? What the hell happened?! Tell 'em to come the fuck on already! Oh Jesus, God, this is bad… Steve!"

Jensen blinks and rolls his head to the right and he sees a piece of the bus lodged in his side. Funny, that's not supposed to be there, and Chris is yelling. Shit, he might even be crying and his hands are running through Jensen's hair and he tries to say something, but Chris just shakes his head and says, "It's okay, Jen. You're gonna be fine. I swear it. Just don't talk right now. Wait till you got the hot nurse giving you a sponge bath, okay?"

Jensen gives a small nod and then his eyes slip shut. He's getting cold and he's too tired to try and open his eyes, even though he wants to because Chris is begging him to, and then he's wishing it was Jared with him, holding him, begging him to wake up.

Read chapter two of six of TempestQuill's So Close No Matter How Far