{Narrated by Christian}

I was planning on surprising Adam by coming home earlier than first planned but I was the one that got the *surprise*. Well, surprise would not exactly be the best choice of words for what I feel, I guess...Shock would be a better choice, mortified would be closer to what I actually felt though. Just two weeks earlier Gangrel raped my fucking ass, then I go home and see him fucking the shit out of the man that claims to love me more than life itself...My world was shredded in just a moments time.

I walked in the door at first thinking that maybe Adam wasn't home, but then I heard the sounds coming from the smaller bedroom, and I wondered who Adam had staying over now...He is the type that can't really handle being alone. So I knew he would have someone there, but fucking Christ...I was not expecting...What I saw. I knew I heard his voice when I got closer to the door; Why the hell would Adam be in the guest room and not our bedroom?!

Fuck... I should have turned around...just left. I have no fucking idea why the hell I opened that god-damned door, and then to see Adam tied to the bed with Gangrel's cock pounding into him...I wanted to convince myself that Adam was being raped by that son of a bitch...that he would never submit to Gangrel, but inside me I knew better...The candle light, the music, the empty J.D. bottle on the floor by the bed...Adam wanted it...Adam Wanted Gangrel right from the start...He has always wanted Gangrel. I'm not stupid and I have eyes, I see the way they look at one another, the way their touch lingers...and most importantly I *hear* the way Adam talks to him. I mean Fuck...he watched Gangrel rape me and didn't seem to bothered by that fact either.

And now here we are...I can't look at him...I can't stand the thought of him touching me. I am crying like a baby, for fucking Christ sake, and I just want to die...Sweet, glorious death, to take the fucking pain away.

"Why, Adam...Why?" I hear my own voice saying "What did I do, why did you do this?" I plead for answers that are not there. I see they are not there. His green eyes are hazed with the same pain and anguish that I am feeling. He keeps telling me how damn sorry he is but I don't hear the words; I can't listen to the words. I can't accept them. I Don't want to hear or accept them.

God Damn Gangrel. God Damn Adam Copeland. My Adam. Tears are streaming down my face, I am sobbing like a friggin' idiot. Not even sobbing. I am crying.

"Please, Jay...Please forgive me, baby." Adam has tears streaming down his face as well as I do, but when I look at his arms I see the burn marks from the leather that tore into his soft, perfect flesh...See the raw bite marks on his inner-thigh and I am shredded again, over and over. He reaches out to touch me and I flinch away; pain cuts through him as though I had struck him and I wish I could. I want to hit him, I want to hurt him the way he hurt me. Then I remember what is in my pocket...the pendant I found at that damned out of the way shop and the feeling when I purchased it for him. God, I just want to fucking die.

I stand and he grabs me, pulling my back against his chest...I try to fight him with all the strength I have left...which does not add up to a hell of a lot more than a piss ant on a windy day. "Please, Jay...I love you damn it...Don't do this to me..to us, Jay...please." His voice is as torn as I feel inside.

"You...You fucking did this to us...You and your fucking boyfriend, Gangrel. Was he worth it...did you have a fucking good time, Adam?" I nearly scream the words as he spins me in his arms, holding me so fucking close there is no room to left to fight him, not that I have the strength to anyway. Then his lips are crashing down on mine. I moan and try to pull away, but I melt against him like fucking hot butter.

Just fucking perfect Jay...Real fucking good, I say to myself as his tongue slides past my lips and here it all begins...he now knows that he can pretty much fuck stupid-ass Jason Reso over at anytime as long as we end up like this afterward...Fuck Fuck Fuck...Just stamp a fucking "Screw me over, Adam" sign on my forehead now and I continue to melt against his hard body. Damn, this is so unfair, I would like to kick my own ass for my own damn stupidity.

"Jay, baby...I love you. I missed you so much...and David was *just* there, baby. Please..." His mouth is blatant passion, claiming me as he murmurs against my throat, kissing his way down my chest; dropping to his knees in front of me. If there is a god in heaven please give me strength...his fingers are unsnapping my pants, working down the zipper, pushing my pants over my hips and the stark realization that there either is no god in heaven or he has resigned from hearing my old story of trading hell for glory sinks in...His lips are pure blissful evil on my hard cock...even my own body is against me. I am responding to him. My fingers thrust through the gold-spun silken textures of his hair and my legs are trembling as he literally lifts me and carries me to *our* bed and continues his on-slaught of my damn traitorous body.

His mouth is heat on my cock and I can no more deny him than to deny the air that is pulling in and out of my lungs, and god forbid, he knows this too. His expert tongue smooths around my cock and I moan as I thrust forward, he takes the whole length of me in his mouth as his hands knead at my balls, his long fingers stroking my fucking ass hole. I am putty in his hands and he knows this, too...I know he knows it and there isn't a god-damned fucking thing I can do about it; Except lay here and moan as he sucks my cock so fucking hard that I think he is going to turn it inside out. My body is shattering, his hands seem to be every where all at once, but I concentrate on those two perfect fingers rammed up my ass so far he is hitting my prostate, sending heat coiling through my cock so hard my seed is pumping into his beautiful mouth, I am wild beneath him. Damn him, and Damn me, and most of all Damn fucking Gangrel for doing this to us!

He's holding me now, whispering incoherent words against the side of my head. My body is drained of all strength as quite slumber invades me...I feel my body drifting as his fingers stroke against my bare flesh, soothing any remaining tears that I had not cried. I want to die...'want to die' are my last conscience thoughts before the horrid dreams began to wrack through me...

*************************************************************

{ Narrated by Adam }

I watch him as he moves around our home. He is nearly ethereal to me in his utter beauty. He is more than beauty...he is life...the air I breath...he is *my* everything and yet...he is nothing to me at this point...He will not allow me to touch him, though I want to do just that so fucking desperately that I literally ache to feel his flesh beneath mine. It is so much more than sex that words can not even come close to describing the pain I feel...Anguish. I need *my* perfect Jason Reso.

I remember in full tecno-color detail the first day I met Jason. We was in sixth grade and he was the "new kid" in school. Most people picked on him cause he was different and small in stature, but I liked different. Throwing stars...This tiny new kid in school owned throwing stars...and Christ all mighty, he knew how to use them...That alone blew my mind. I was drawn to him immediately because of some inner pull he seemed to have over me...He knew it...but acted as though he had no clue and that was and still is, to this day, the beauty of Jason...His innocence. I was the moth and he was the flame, and I was so damn drawn to that light. Jay was always the "Quiet type" until you got to know him and then he would talk at least a hundred words a minute, at times he would talk so fast, in fact, that his words would often become one huge sentence with seemingly no end in sight, not even as much as a heaved sigh of air, until finally he wore himself out.

I would set there doing my homework or playing a video game or some quiet time thing and he'd set beside me and say "What'cha doin'?" and that would be *it*....I was lost to everything around be but the blue of his eyes and the sound of his voice. I can't even remember when I fell in love with Jay because before I'd met him...I had my share of crushes on girls...Never guys...There was never even the hint of a *guy thing* for me...

Until that one day -My fifteenth birthday- He came over to my house with a cake that he had baked...Jason Reso can not even make toast, so to see him with this thing that resembled a cake was astonishing in itself but what happened *After the cake* was when it hit me. Now mind you, Jay and I had been friends at least a good year or two before this point and there was never the slightest of hints that he saw me as any more than his best friend. It was no longer even assumed, it was known by everyone that where there was Adam...There was Jay....And vise-versa...And I guess, *if* we would have been male/female, it would have been long ago also *known* that we were a couple but fate dealt a cruel hand and we were both guys...so it was there but yet not there. Of course, Bi-sexuality for boys was not that uncommon...after all, the first time I ever got off was from my own hand and I thought that was the most remarkable feeling in the entire world...Until Jay got me off the first time...And I knew I would never find anything else that could possibly compared to the feel of his hand stroking my cock as I looked into those silken blue eyes...

We had just finished eating the cake...and hell, it wasn't even that bad, once we established that it was in fact a birthday cake. "Told ya it wasn't gonna be that bad." Jay pouted as he looked up at me.

"Not that bad at all," I smirked, only to have a hand full of cake tossed at me. "You little fuck stain...It is so on now." I grabbed my own hand full of the chocolate cake that was Left and tossed it at him.

"Food fight," Jay yelled and we was off, not even thinking of the consequences of Mom's kitchen. That lasted a good ten minutes, until Jay surrendered. By this time we was close to hysterics; Jay on the floor, pinned beneath me, my legs wrapped around his hips, my hands holding his arms pinned to the linoleum flooring...and that when *it* happened. I moved to shift, to gain better leverage over him and I felt him beneath me. His cock was rock hard. I remembered blinking, looking down at him...cake smeared on his perfect cheek bone, I swallowed hard...air was not reaching my lungs, my head was spinning way too damn fast and without even as much as a passing thought; I leaned forward and began to lick the cake off his cheek. I felt him move restlessly beneath me, not to buck me away, but the gentle arching of the hips toward my now rock-hard cock. My tongue made a slow movement from his cheek, to the corner of his mouth, swirling over his bottom lip, to his bare neck, the hallow point of his collar bone to what part of his chest I could reach until I found the material of his shirt. He moans and I feel him tremble. I look down at him to see he is so beautiful, his eyes closed to soft slits, his pouty lips parted slightly, the hands I am holding above his small wrists are relaxed. I close my own eyes for a moment and inhale deeply the smells around me...Cake, the smell of sulfur from the match that Jay had lit as he sang happy birthday to me, sweat from Jays body mingled with the light hint of soap and cologne I have watched him splash on at least a thousand time. I groan deep from my throat as I move my hard cock against his own hardness, I hear his barely whisper *my* name and my body nearly splinters. I move to continue to lick what bare flesh I can cover of his perfect body, he moans, and the licks turn more heated...kisses rain though the movement, Small delicate love bites trail over his neck as I move back upwards towards those angelic perfectly parted lips. I do not dare hesitate for fear that some inkling of common sense will tell one of us that some where, in some one else's mind, this is wrong. My lips close over his, he gasps into my mouth, that I am using as a leverage to slid my tongue past his lips and entwining in some erotic dance with his tongue. My eyes are open...I am looking at him...and he is so damn, fucking beautiful I moan against the soft swell of his lips. I grind mt body against his, and heaven help us both...He responds with a subtle thrust of his own against the body that has long ago lost all hope. Jay. His name is echoing in my mind as I feel him pulling at my hands, utter fear that he is going to push me away tears at me the same exact moment that he kissing me so hard I am literally breathless and he is now breathing for both of us...I make a movement to let his wrist go...the same time I am praying to who ever will hear me, 'Please don't let him push me away...Please.' And as if the prayer is answered, his fingers delve through my hair as his other hand moves up the bottom of my shirt to the small of my back...I am by now...totally surrendering to him.