Christian drops his boots on the porch, the caked-on mud making them a hazard to take into the house...for the same reason. the "dog pack" as it was now know was also relegated to the porch for the time being.

"Stay, sit," Chris says authoritatively to the milling pooches. "I'm gonna get some towels. Y'all don't rub against the house anything okay?"

The dogs continue to ignore his Alpha Maleness, bumping heads and playing their canine games as he walks into the house, shutting the door quickly before one of them gets an idea. They're spoiled rotten and Chris isn't a prissy housekeeper but no fucking way is he smelling wet dirty dog for the rest of the weekend.

"Hey, I'm back. I need about a hundred towels to clean off the mutts," he calls out, poking his head into various rooms to hunt down his boyfriend. "Hey Pretty Boy, where you at? Primpin' in the bathroom again?"

He makes it to the living room and finds said boyfriend crawling around on the floor, pressing down to peer into the sockets.

"Sooo...this some sorta Spice Up Your Sex Life thing? You been watchin' Oprah again," he says dryly.

Jared turns and looks up, shooting Chris an annoyed look. "Gimme a break okay? I just talked to Jen and him and Brig need a babysitter for the weekend. I said we'd do it."

Chris blinks. "S'cuse?!"

"Brig's roommate's sister from college...or somethin' like that. Brig's mom was gonna do it but now she's got a cold and I said we'd watch Jillian." Jared gets up on his knees and stares at Chris, sniffs. "What is that smell?"

"Wet muddy dog transference. When are they gettin' here?"

"Tomorrow morning at about six am."

"SIX A.M.?"

"We need to clean you up and the dogs...we should give them all baths. You know how much Jilly likes to get up all over them. And you."

"I don't disagree and we might want to start now since we got three dirty dogs and ME and why were you on the floor?"

Jared holds up little clear plastic clips in his hand. "Puttin' these in the sockets."

"Huh?"

"So Jilly doesn't stick a fork in there and get electrocuted!"

"Why are we givin' a one year old baby a fork?"

"That's not the point."

"You gonna put her in a bullet proof vest in case we give Sadie a rifle?"

"Go upstairs and take a shower. Please."

"Fine." Chris does his best diva stomp and spin, heading up the stairs before yelling back down, "You got a pack of dumb dogs on the porch waitin' to be sanitized Mr. Babysitter!"

"You're changing diapers too!"

"No way baby - I'm in charge of fun. F-U-N. No shit."

***

Jensen and Brig arrive at 5:45am; Jared is waiting for them on the porch, wide awake and chipper.

Chris is still asleep upstairs, snoring.

As they walk into the house, Brig recites the list of "Things Which Jared Needs to Know" about Jilly who's happily ensconced in Uncle Jay's arms, babbling away in baby talk but frequently mentioning "doggies". She knows they're here, she wants to see them NOW.

"Hey man, appreciate this," Jensen throws in, blearily heading for the coffee machine to refill his travel mug. "Really. Sincerely."

"Jensen wants to know if he can stay here too," Brig says dryly, leaving Jilly's various bags on the kitchen island. Toys, clothes, diapers, bedding. Forget that there are duplicates to almost everything already in the guest bedroom. "Because he doesn't want to drive to this wedding."

"Oh come on sweetheart, I'm really excited to drive a hundred hours to go to a wedding where I won't know anyone and that is BLACK TIE." His sarcasm grows into horror, a pointed raise of his mug to Jared. "Do you see how much I love this woman?"

"Enough to go black tie around a bunch of strangers who are gonna make you sign stuff all night long for their kids?"

"Oh God."

"You're not helping!" Brig shakes her finger under Jared's nose then goes up on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. "Gonna use the bathroom then we're outta here Mr. Ackles." She gives Jensen "The Look" over her shoulder and heads down the hall.

"Just have a few drinks and chill out man. It'll be nice for you and Brig to just have the weekend for yourself."

"Yeah, Valentine's Day and all - I think we can combine this weekend with that and a diamond necklace and it'll be good." Jensen pokes the bottoms of Jilly's footie pajamas, making his little girl laugh. "Been awhile since we got some private time."

Jared covers Jilly's ears. "Time for a little brother or sister?" he teases.

"Ohmygod, shutup." Jensen laughs. "Not yet...no sirree. Not yet."

A thump on the stairs alerts them to the arrival of Mr. Kane, who appears around the entry way of the kitchen with wild hair and bleary eyes. Jensen and Jared exchange eyerolls but Jilly lights up like Christmas.

"KISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS," she says wetly, wriggling in Jared's arms. Jilly loves those doggies but Uncle Chris is it.

"The lady's makin' a request," Jared laughs, bestowing one of said kisses on his boyfriend's cheek before plopping the toddler into his arms. "You want coffee?"

"I'm gonna pretend that wasn't a question," Chris rasps, giving Jensen the finger behind Jilly's back then focusing his attention on the little girl on his hip.

"Hey there Miss Jillypants, you gonna stay with us for a few days? You gonna make Uncle Jay go crazy will all his cleanin' and fussin' and stuff?"

Brig comes back from the bathroom, stealing a bottle of water from the fridge before giving Chris a kiss hello. "He fusses, you enable - the perfect uncles," Brig laughs, looking at her watch pointedly.

Jensen sighs.

They give Jilly a thousand and one kisses then head out as Chris keeps her in the kitchen to ease the drama. She's a good girl, she loves her uncles but she's a little thing and little things don't have watches or an understanding that their parents aren't leaving them behind.

***

Chris gives up Jilly long enough to shower. When he comes back down, awake and refreshed, he finds Jared and Jilly asleep on the family room floor, a Baby Einstein DVD singing smartly in the background. He stands and watches the little domestic scene for a long time, long enough for the dogs to come and find him, demanding attention and breakfast. He pats their heads and whispers assurances that he is, indeed, coming to feed them and love them and he just needs another moment to...stare.

He covers the J's with a quilt from the back of the sofa and shuts off the DVD. Then goes to play Daddy to the army of pooches.

***

Entertaining Jilly isn't really a full-time job but Jared takes it so seriously that Chris teases he must have a written-out itinerary somewhere, an equally balanced "fun and educational" schedule for every hour she'll be in their care. He takes great pains to inquire about the nutritional value of the graham crackers they have for a snack and the grape incident...well, it's a good thing Miss Jilly was distracted by Sadie's ticklish tongue to see the mouthing of swear words between her uncles.

"I didn't give her rat poison! Grapes are healthy!"

"She could CHOKE. You have to CUT THEM IN HALF."

"I'm SORRY."

Jared stays in a snit for at least another hour. Chris takes the opportunity to go to his studio and muck around with some tracks he and boys recorded a few weeks ago. Maybe he feels a little guilty for doing something dumb but he's a guy without kids and his entire wealth of experience involves babies on sets (where their mothers are) and Jilly (when there are responsible adults around) and the Padalecki nephews who are little linebackers already, never seeming as delicate as Miss Jillypants.

But then again Jared's experience is exactly the same and he knows this stuff. Knows it down cold. Socket covers, check. Age appropriate DVDs and diapers and food, check. Knowing what sounds mean or are supposed to mean, like "bus" means juice and shit like that. It makes Chris feel something akin to awe.

***

Chris, Jared and Jilly eat dinner outside at the picnic table, Jilly on Jared's lap as she shoves tiny slivers of vegetarian hot dog into her mouth. Jared watches her like a hawk, relieved at each swallow. When she's done and moves onto the squishy delights of toddler corn flavored wagon wheels, he relaxes a bit and starts on his own dinner.

That's when he realizes Chris is staring at him.

"What?"

"Nothin'." Chris ducks his head and grabs his beer, looking off towards the horizon. Clearly caught.

"What? Seriously? I'm sorry okay. I snapped a little about the grapes...." Jared sighs, shifting Jilly to the other leg. "I just get uptight when I'm responsible for like...tiny humans."

"But you're good at it." There's something in Chris' face that gives Jared a very big clue this isn't about Choking Hazards 101.

"Well...yeah. I guess."

"No, seriously. You're good at takin' care of her. And the boys when we're down at your folks. Kids like me cause I sneak 'em cookies but you go the whole thing down pat."

"Uh, thanks?" It sounds like a compliment but Jared's got subtext on his mind. Namely? Chris' insistence that Jared is a closet father being denied his desires because of Chris.

Chris grunts, nods, goes back to his beer.

Jared thinks it's getting cold out here and it has nothing to do with the weather.

***

That night in bed Jared tosses and turns. Between Jilly's snuffling snores through the monitor from the room next door and Chris' words earlier, there is no possible way he's going to sleep anytime soon.

Doesn't help that Chris begged off bed and ended up going back into the studio. At midnight.

He asks himself, honestly there in the dark, if he really is repressing something. He loves kids, loves being around Jilly and his nephews. He's got a nurturing personality - children, dogs, doesn't matter. When the entire world is generally smaller than you are, you get into the mindset of being careful. Being...aware. Protecting.

So that's just his personality. Doesn't mean he's got to be a father. All he needs to do is convince Chris of that fact, convince him that there isn't anything missing.

Unless...and Jesus, he's so close to drifting off when his eyes pop open. Goddamn fucking brain.

Maybe Chris' insistence wasn't for Jared's benefit. Maybe Chris felt like he was missing something.

Motherhumping hell. Jared wished he was just pretty and didn't know what the word transference meant.

***

Jensen and Brig return late Sunday evening. They have that glowy "we drank champagne and got it on" look which Chris makes fun of as much as humanly possible. Jared's being all quiet, cooking chilli and moving around the kitchen like a housekeeper trying to stay out of the way.

Chris doesn't think Brig or Jensen notices; they're too busy making up for time lost with their Jilly, marveling over the tiny pigtails in her hair which Chris refuses to take credit for until they make him and he swears it's something he learned while hunting.

Chilli and beer doesn't get Jared talking much; he's up and moving and cleaning up before the last mouthful is swallowed. Jensen seems to be catching on. He offers to help do the dishes and Brig doesn't pretend to faint or nothing. She just feigns exhaustion, taking Jilly up to the spare bedroom to get ready for bed.

The three men clean up with Jensen filling in the quiet with jokes and laughter, a line thrown to Chris so he can hop on that wagon and bullshit his way through the difficulties, until he's ready to deal.

Some things never change and that's a good thing.

***

Monday morning comes and the house is a flurry of barking and packing and bacon and eggs. Jilly cries when Jensen brings her to the car to strap her in and Chris is silently pleased by that. He promises she'll come back soon, he'll buy her a pony... Brig kisses them both and invites them down for a weekend soon.

Good babysitters are hard to find, clearly.

When the Ackles family is a dust speck down the road, silence reigns. Chris opens his mouth to speak but Jared gets there first.

"I get it man, I really do. You keep sayin' this is about me not bein' a father but I just gotta say - you need to look at yourself. Just...look at what you really want and don't make this all on my shoulders." Jared takes a deep breath and leans over, kissing Chris right on his surprised open mouth. "I love you but it isn't helpin' no one if you're not honest with yourself."

Read Coda Three Timmy Has Two Daddys - Or Chris Having To Think Too Hard